Eliasson

That's a long time for me. But then we took my son to university. He's my baby out of 4, being a mom is all I've ever done for 28 years.
I just can't. I'm trying so hard not to make it about me, as they say, but honestly I am lost.
My head hurts. I'm tired. It's too much.
It's just too much

Treerat66

You're doing really well, keep on keeping on.

Dee74

I'm sure it will take some adjustment but you'll get there Eliasson.
All the baby chicks need to leave the nest sometime

Don't let your AV talk you into anything foolish - 3 weeks is awesome

D

fripfrop

Hi Eliasson
I know how you feel. Ive been a mother for longer than I haven't too. Had 5 weeks sober, then started to grieve over my daughter, my youngest, who lives and works away. She moved in with her boyfriend, and it looks likely now she will settle away and raise her family, when the time comes, there.
And I drank over it..and it made me feel worse.
I know it's gut wrenchingly hard, to let go.
But he hasn't QUITE gone yet. He'll be coming home in holidays and such?
One thing that will make him NOT want to spend his uni holidays back home, would be having to watch you sit and drink, if you got caught back up in the same cycle wouldn't it?
When my daughter first moved for work, she cam home every opportunity, on her days off. That helped a lot.
Can you cling to the fact he will be back, at least, in uni breaks?

Soberwolf

Your doing amazing x

LadyBlue0527

I understand how you feel. Ask yourself though, what is drinking going to do outside of amplify your feelings?

Your AV is running rampant right now. Is bringing your last child to University really a reason to drink? What will it solve?

You've been a Mom for as long as you have and you're still a Mom. It could be time now to focus on you.

Soberween

28 years as a mom is a really long time and something to be celebrated. Why punish yourself by drinking? Finally start taking care of yourself and put this drinking problem behind you. Before you know it, you will go a day without even thinking about drinking. Don't make the mistake I made and keep doing the first 30 days over and over. So I essentially kept doing the hardest part over and over.

Eliasson

Oh my gosh yes and thank you to everything everyone said. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this pain it truly feels like a death. I know I am letting my AV take advantage of these feelings and I need to stop giving it that power.
Others have done this before me and I'm sure it gets easier with time? I won't be any good to anyone if I drink my feelings away.
Thank you

ScottFromWI

You deal with it by doing exactly what you are doing now...talking through it and facing it. The default AV response is to run away/drink and hope it goes away, but of course it never does.

It will get easier over time as you make it through situations and realize that they weren't nearly as bad as your AV theorizes them to be. Sure it feels like "death" now but in reality your son is not leaving your life at all. Why not have an honest talk with him about how you feel? You will most likely find that he may be scared too, but also excited for the new chapter in his life.