Educating oneself after accidental withdrawals.
Human
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 183
Educating oneself after accidental withdrawals.
Hello there! This is my first post, after I've spent a great deal of time going through helpful posts here seeking answers. I couldn't find what ultimately I was trying to clarify for myself, and that leads us here to yet another long story post for which I apologize in advance.
I'm not even entirely sure what kind of withdrawal I went through. I didn't drink until I was 26 - not even for my 21st birthday. I then drank fairly steadily (change in friends, then an emotional experience, cliche but I am far past it) so I was drinking probably 3-4 nights a week from November 2014 until July 2016, figure three drinks per outing. I had taken days off drinking for a week here and there with no effects.
This spring, I had been working on the music scene doing international tours for about 14 weeks. It's safe to say I drank most of those evenings, especially towards the end. I had a week off before traveling out of the country and thought, I'm really not happy with these habits, so I'm going to give my body a break. I've never craved alcohol, but the easy access sort of made it a normality, but I was never like that and didn't want to continue it once the tour was off.
Three days after I stopped drinking, I woke up dizzy and confused, slightly shaky. When I finally figured out it was withdrawal, I stayed hydrated with trusty supplements at my side and all symptoms left after three days. After 9 days off, I did my travel and went out to catch up with some friends two nights in a row. After the second night, woke up with the same symptoms. They faded after a week. I waited a week again, then went out for a friend's birthday, intending on a slow careful night. Three drinks over the span of five hours, with water in between.
Returning home that night, last drink was at 2:30am. I poured the birthday celebrator into bed, made sure they were alright, caught up on some emails, and finally headed to bed around 4:30am. This is where I'm not sure what happened to me. I was standing in a dimly lit bathroom and felt like the floor just fell out from under me. I looked at the ground, at my skin and thought my skin looked pale and lifeless. Convinced I was dead, I ran to my room in a panic to go straight to bed. I spent a half hour texting some friends, trying to calm myself, when full body shakes started. I have a script for Xanax that I never use, so I figured I could take one and see if it worked. After 15 minutes post Xanax, the shakes abruptly stopped. I spent the next week in a fog, feeling exhausted, dizzy, "floaty". Viscious nightmares, vivid dreams, never able to sleep at night. That was 17 days ago and I've felt better maybe only the last three days. I did take an occasional Xanax, which I break into fourths and the whole is .25....I'm not into medicines so generally a fourth of that will make me sleepy, during these anxiety attacks it usually took a half pill to calm me down. I kept up with magnesium, zinc, and multi vitamin supplements and stayed away from Advil or Tylenol purposely.
I've read so much about different withdrawals and detoxes but I can't actually pinpoint what it was that happened to me. It wasn't a seizure, but maybe a tremen? Was it kindling since it was so close together?
Even in withdrawal, I don't crave anything. My neurotransmitters may have been used to the alcohol but I've never had any overwhelming desire to drink. There's alcohol in the house where I live and it hasn't bothered that it's there. I've gone out with friends who were drinking and I didn't feel the least temptation. But it makes me kind of sad that I may never be able to drink again even just a night out with friends. I was stupid and didn't understand the effects of "having fun" every night, had no clue what stopping would do and now am afraid I've ruined myself forever, at only 29.
My real questions are simply, what did I actually go through? If possible that it wasn't a DT, could I have avoided permanent brain damage? And will my body react this way if I ever drink again? I'm out of my home country now, and will be for two more months. I don't intend to even attempt a drink until I travel back and likely far past that. But I'm more worried about maybe a year, three years down the line, if having a beer with friends is an impossible dream. Also didn't grab travel insurance, or else id have spoken to a clinic by now, despite my embarrassment.
A lot of the research I've done has found mostly people asking questions and being insulted back - I ask please that you consider I am learning all the facts as I go, and merely trying to educate myself. I feel stupid as it is for having indulged in something that should have registered with me as dangerous to begin with. I can't even begin to describe what the music scene is like for those who haven't seen long term backstage environments, but you tend to lose some grasp on reality when in it.
Sorry again for the tl;dr. Thank you all for hosting this community and please bear with me while I try to learn what I can, as I'll be likely using this one the musicians I work with one day as well.
I'm not even entirely sure what kind of withdrawal I went through. I didn't drink until I was 26 - not even for my 21st birthday. I then drank fairly steadily (change in friends, then an emotional experience, cliche but I am far past it) so I was drinking probably 3-4 nights a week from November 2014 until July 2016, figure three drinks per outing. I had taken days off drinking for a week here and there with no effects.
This spring, I had been working on the music scene doing international tours for about 14 weeks. It's safe to say I drank most of those evenings, especially towards the end. I had a week off before traveling out of the country and thought, I'm really not happy with these habits, so I'm going to give my body a break. I've never craved alcohol, but the easy access sort of made it a normality, but I was never like that and didn't want to continue it once the tour was off.
Three days after I stopped drinking, I woke up dizzy and confused, slightly shaky. When I finally figured out it was withdrawal, I stayed hydrated with trusty supplements at my side and all symptoms left after three days. After 9 days off, I did my travel and went out to catch up with some friends two nights in a row. After the second night, woke up with the same symptoms. They faded after a week. I waited a week again, then went out for a friend's birthday, intending on a slow careful night. Three drinks over the span of five hours, with water in between.
Returning home that night, last drink was at 2:30am. I poured the birthday celebrator into bed, made sure they were alright, caught up on some emails, and finally headed to bed around 4:30am. This is where I'm not sure what happened to me. I was standing in a dimly lit bathroom and felt like the floor just fell out from under me. I looked at the ground, at my skin and thought my skin looked pale and lifeless. Convinced I was dead, I ran to my room in a panic to go straight to bed. I spent a half hour texting some friends, trying to calm myself, when full body shakes started. I have a script for Xanax that I never use, so I figured I could take one and see if it worked. After 15 minutes post Xanax, the shakes abruptly stopped. I spent the next week in a fog, feeling exhausted, dizzy, "floaty". Viscious nightmares, vivid dreams, never able to sleep at night. That was 17 days ago and I've felt better maybe only the last three days. I did take an occasional Xanax, which I break into fourths and the whole is .25....I'm not into medicines so generally a fourth of that will make me sleepy, during these anxiety attacks it usually took a half pill to calm me down. I kept up with magnesium, zinc, and multi vitamin supplements and stayed away from Advil or Tylenol purposely.
I've read so much about different withdrawals and detoxes but I can't actually pinpoint what it was that happened to me. It wasn't a seizure, but maybe a tremen? Was it kindling since it was so close together?
Even in withdrawal, I don't crave anything. My neurotransmitters may have been used to the alcohol but I've never had any overwhelming desire to drink. There's alcohol in the house where I live and it hasn't bothered that it's there. I've gone out with friends who were drinking and I didn't feel the least temptation. But it makes me kind of sad that I may never be able to drink again even just a night out with friends. I was stupid and didn't understand the effects of "having fun" every night, had no clue what stopping would do and now am afraid I've ruined myself forever, at only 29.
My real questions are simply, what did I actually go through? If possible that it wasn't a DT, could I have avoided permanent brain damage? And will my body react this way if I ever drink again? I'm out of my home country now, and will be for two more months. I don't intend to even attempt a drink until I travel back and likely far past that. But I'm more worried about maybe a year, three years down the line, if having a beer with friends is an impossible dream. Also didn't grab travel insurance, or else id have spoken to a clinic by now, despite my embarrassment.
A lot of the research I've done has found mostly people asking questions and being insulted back - I ask please that you consider I am learning all the facts as I go, and merely trying to educate myself. I feel stupid as it is for having indulged in something that should have registered with me as dangerous to begin with. I can't even begin to describe what the music scene is like for those who haven't seen long term backstage environments, but you tend to lose some grasp on reality when in it.
Sorry again for the tl;dr. Thank you all for hosting this community and please bear with me while I try to learn what I can, as I'll be likely using this one the musicians I work with one day as well.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
No one here will insult you, but no one here is qualified to tell you what happened.
The best advice is for you to talk to your doctor. It's against our rules to ask for or to give medical advice.
The best advice is for you to talk to your doctor. It's against our rules to ask for or to give medical advice.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Hi there! To me that sounds like alcohol withdrawal but I am not a doctor. I think your best bet would be to see a doctor and be 100% honest with them. Alcohol withdrawal is nothing to mess around with ... it can get dangerous very quickly. And if it is something else than no one on here can figure that out for you either and it could potentially be dangerous too. In both cases I would just go see your doctor and listen to him/her.
Human
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 183
Thank you all! To clarify, I do intend to see a doctor when I get back home, as I feel much better now and have read that this abides by the general timeline for recovery. This post was more of a "consider all options" sort of question aimed at the future, not asking direct medical advice.
I'm literally building up my knowledge on the subject. I had never heard of any of this prior to experiencing - Feels impossible that myself and my friends could know so little about it! As for weighing on my mind, I think I was just more scared than anything and doing research helps the understanding.
I'm literally building up my knowledge on the subject. I had never heard of any of this prior to experiencing - Feels impossible that myself and my friends could know so little about it! As for weighing on my mind, I think I was just more scared than anything and doing research helps the understanding.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Originally Posted by Purpleskye 
Anna, is there a way to edit the post so I can rephrase it? Can't seem to find the option on mobile.
Thank you Soberwolf!
Thank you Soberwolf!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Welcome Purpleskye! I'm glad you are seeing your Dr to discuss this. All I can give you is my experience with withdrawal; I did have many of those symptoms.
Take care, and check in or post when you like. This is a supportive forum
Take care, and check in or post when you like. This is a supportive forum
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
