My Friend His Meth
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
My Friend His Meth
I posted yesterday but I guess I didn't get what I needed because I'm still just as confused. My husband and I are 13 days sober from alc. today. That aside, we are helping an old friend of mine that found me on Facebook. I haven't talked to him in 19 years. Anyway, he was in a bad way in Washington State due to separation with his wife. He was homeless. We went to see him and his wife, because I used to date her brother and that's how I know this person too. I know complicated. So we have tried to help them reconsile and it hasn't worked. So we have even gone as far as moving him to N.C. from WA. to live in our home. I know he has demons with Meth. But while with us and before we made the decision to move him here he was not using at all. I would know. Unfortunatley this last go around he was able to arrange a drug deal through Craigslist and meet someone in the middle of the night. When he came back I could tell immediately he was wired out of his gore. I told him I wanted him to go and I bought him a ticket back to WA. I cannot have that activity in my as I have a teenager. My son and his friend has already found a joint in the garage that belonged to him. Since it's legal in WA I didn't mind that he smokes pot, but the rule was never when my son is home. So he has been back in WA for 2 weeks. He is working under the table for us. We secured him a living space for 2 months, gave him $1,000, bought the plane ticket. He blew through the grand in 2 or 3 days. He says that he was robbed for $500. We then sent Walmart money because we are too scared to send cash. I can tell he is using meth. He posts ads like "parTy" on craigslist even out there as his wife caught him. "parTy" means smoke meth. So.... obviously we have positioned ourselves in the role of enabler. I love this person to the moon and back. But when is enough, enough? Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. We have probably spend around $17K since he came into our lives total since Feb. It is outrageous and I can't believe that we have done this. I barely even have 5K saved for my son's college fund. Help!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"But when is enough, enough?"
could be today. could be tomorrow. could be until the day you help bury him.
its your choice to decide when enough is enough.
you didnt cause it
cant control it
cant cure it.
its not outrageous. its insane.
you can stop enabling TODAY and start working on YOU today.
if you chose to.
i hope you chose to do that.
could be today. could be tomorrow. could be until the day you help bury him.
its your choice to decide when enough is enough.
you didnt cause it
cant control it
cant cure it.
its not outrageous. its insane.
you can stop enabling TODAY and start working on YOU today.
if you chose to.
i hope you chose to do that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
p.s.
good on ya for 13 days!!
work on the codie stuff,too, and you can be one of us double winners!
good on ya for 13 days!!
work on the codie stuff,too, and you can be one of us double winners!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sunshine72
Thank you I love your advice. What do you mean by the codie stuff and double winners though? I'm blonde. lol
double winner= recovering alcoholics who are also codependants.
you might want to jump into the friends and family forum and check out the stickies and read some of the threads.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
I think that is great you both have tried to help this man, however, I think it is time to let him figure these things out on his own. An addict will not get sober until he is ready and it may be best of your family to kick him out.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Originally Posted by SoberLife90
I think that is great you both have tried to help this man, however, I think it is time to let him figure these things out on his own. An addict will not get sober until he is ready and it may be best of your family to kick him out.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
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He called this morning because he was upset that the prepaid cc we sent him was not working for whatever reason. Anyway he was spun outta his gore. When I confronted him he tried to say he did shots this morning. That is a lie and I know it. Anyway, he basically admitted it. I've told him not to work with us again until he passes a drug test. Can't have him representing when he sounds like that. So the phone and email are shut down for him until he can pass a drug test. So now the choice is his.
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