hpdw

Hi , I wanted to ask advice on this .
There are 6 of us going to Zandvoort( near Amsterdam) in Holland 6 weeks today (Saturday ) . Me & Mrs , both sons and girl friends. They will be having a drink every day and go to the cafes in Amsterdam some days.
we were there last September and I was a pure and utter mess when I got home having been drunk for 5 days.
At this moment in time I have no intentions of drinking and trying to construct a sober plan . This is what I need help with .
I love food and all the little cafes( not the cannabis ones) and em dare I say pubs .

For you people who are sober and went on hols /vacation what was your plan .
As it is Amsterdam weed is legal butI don't do weed but it wouldn't have been an option anyway as it is a recreation drug and i'm here to stay off recreational drugs .

Thanks

hpdw

Meant to add I am 3 months sober now and currently don't have any cravings although I did have a bad couple of hours one day last week after I had done some jobs around the house and the sun was shining , got through it by doing more jobs .

Soberwolf

Thomas based on last time & @ 90 days I just wouldn't go ?

hpdw

SW that would be an option and based on how I was in May I take your response seriously .
Ive already pulled out the Spanish holiday since it was all inclusive and sounded too much temptation round the clock almost for free .
I let people down when I drank and I feel that I can't still keep letting them down sober by not taking part in at least one Family holiday . I can't hide and prune flowers and do DIY for ever, life goes on outside my safety zone . There are 4 off licences within 5 minutes from my house so its not as if I can't drink here . I stay away from ALL functions( reunions ,birthday parties etc) so as to not be tempted but I need to move on and face the fear . I see this attitude as a move in the right direction . I don't want to be saying what if or if only for ever .
I am not forgetting how bad i was and have no intention of drinking today ( a day at a time !) I am not setting my self up or kidding myself on.

Soberwolf

I hear you brother you know were always here if you know youl stay sober then just have things like a good exit plan just in case

hpdw

Thanks so much I am very grateful

MidnightRider

I feel you on this one.... I went on vacation similar with 2 months sober under my belt. I made it 3 days in before I caved in and drank. Started with a cold beer after a hot day of activities. That was in June... I drank for about a month and then quit again .. Thankful.

So maybe you will be able to make it through? Don't let your guard down. It may be super hard .. But I am sure you can do the holiday without drinking. Just gonna take some work.

thomas11

This may sound simplistic but keep doing what your doing....which is staying sober. Others on this forum can help you with a plan.

MIRecovery

4 or 5 months is hardly forever. I would be willing to bet your family is far more concerned about your drinking than they are about one vacation. Sounds like s lot of rationalizing to me and asking for advice after a vacation has been planned is a bit like asking how to lock the gate after the horse has got out.

For me I wouldn't go but that is just me

hpdw

I understand what your saying MIRecovery , this holiday/vacation was on off on off on off , will I go ? yes , no I wont , yes I will then finally decided to go for it . I know the dangers , I know what can happen on holidays but I will be prepared .
Thanks

MIRecovery

Exactly how are you going to be prepared?

PrinzessinD

You could view it from a different perspective, it might be kind of fun to go and be the only sober one and watch your friends and family drink and have some self realization of why you stopped in the first place. I've had some of my best holidays sober, I actually remembered them and woke up without a hangover and was ready to go see the sights.

I am mentioning this because I got sober working in a bar. I still work there, I think it's interesting watching people get drunk and how their personalities change, it's also funny going to work the next day and I'm bright as a button and my co - workers are nursing a hangover. If you think you can abstain from drinking and look at it from a different perspective - Go. If you aren't ready - That's ok to know your limits, your family and friends will understand. You will make the right decision.

hpdw

By acutely Knowing that alcohol :
makes me loud , curse, boast, slur, lose sleep, lose phone , lose money , sleep bad , **** my self , lose appetite , feel sick , diarrhea , steal , lie , sweat ,shake , feel terrified , cry , worry my wife and family , sneak early drinks , repeat all of the above for 7 days then spend a week in bed , lose work ,lose pay , joint pain returns, mental anguish returns ,night terrors, depression ,severe anxiety ,depersonalization ,de-realization ,stomach pain , liver pain , hot red face ,chills , nightmares ,

MIRecovery

Sobriety is a series of decisions. I view each through this lense. Is this decision moving me towards sobriety or away. For me I make very few decisions that move me away

Dee74

Hi Thomas, I think last time we caught up you'd decided not to go.

If you're going now, to Amsterdam of all places, I'd make a way more detailed plan than post #13

You know the kinds of situations you might face and the kinds of thoughts you might have, and the temptations - be prepared for them all.

Have escape plans.

Have support on call.

read this link: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

you could have a cast iron recovery plan in 6 weeks I reckon

D

hpdw

MIRecovery your reply #14 is very wise and powerful .

Dee , I was going to Cambrilles in Spain but cancelled . The Amsterdam thing was on and off a few times . Off because I was scared, On because I want to prove I can spend time sober out-with my comfort zone , I need to do this .
Yes I need to construct a more detailed plan going forward .
Thank you for the link going there now .

Berrybean

Really? That is SO important? More important than protecting your sobriety?

Sounds like you booked your holiday through AV-HOLS-DIRECT.

Jeez.

hpdw

That's the thing with internet forums even great ones like SR one doesn't see the person face to face with the mannerisms ,expressions and so on you don't know the person , not really in fact not at all . So if like me your not too hot with a pen & paper or keyboard the wrong message can be relayed .

I take your , AV-HOLS DIRECT comment in good spirit( oops pun not intended) although some would see it as a little sarcky , i'm sure you mean well .

Thanks

U75

I understand where you're coming from--needing to prove that you can get through risky situations sober. I'd join with others in questioning the timing. You're still early in recovery. Maybe it's too soon to test yourself like this?

Regardless, you're going with your family. What's their level of awareness of your alcoholism? Assuming that at least your wife knows of your sobriety, bring her in on your plan. I can't imagine she wouldn't want to support you any way she can. She can be there to keep you on the level, or she may want to forego drinking for the trip, too.

WeekendWarrior

I don't know, but man, going to Amsterdam sounds like the last place for an addict to go and be sober. People that have never done drugs in their lives get high in Amsterdam, lol.