My Accountability Log
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 3
My Accountability Log
Hi everyone, I joined this forum so I can start this little diary/log to give myself more accountability with my drinking/marijuana use/life in general. I am a 25 year old male from a large city in the USA.
Just to tell you a bit about my history without writing a whole book: I started drinking and smoking weed around 16 years old. I would pretty much drink at parties but I would smoke weed almost daily. This continued for until age 22 when I got my first job out of college and I couldn't smoke weed because of potential drug tests. This is when I pretty much substituted weed for alcohol. I currently drink 3-4 times a week, usually 4-6 beers and around every 3 months or so I'll sometimes throw caution to the wind and smoke weed. My drinking/smoking as not caused really significant life altering damage to my life, but it has definitely impaired my ability to live a happy and healthy life and is without a doubt a problem. I always tend to drink/smoke only to the point where my major responsibilities can still be fulfilled.
I don't want to make this post too long and I will share a lot more details with other posts.
I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't think I am an alcoholic. I definitely have a problem with alcohol/weed though and have some addictive tendencies. But I have actually stopped a few in the past for months at a time and it has worked out, but when my life starts stressful I started with my old habits again.
Right now my goal is to stop drinking alone and stop smoking altogether. In social settings I actually don't drink a lot because I like to maintain composed (more for girls than anything else), but when I'm alone I don't care and tend to get really drunk. I still plan on having a few drinks on special social occasions (maybe like once a month) but even then I want to eventually stop drinking altogether (when I get to this point it will be more for health reasons than anything else). I know this is not how many would recommend me going about it but I know myself and my tendencies and this is the best way for me to do it.
This is Day 1 for me. Yesterday I had my last drinks alone. Today and tomorrow I have work so I know I'm not going to drink, but Monday I'm off all day. That will be the day to get through.
Wish me luck
Just to tell you a bit about my history without writing a whole book: I started drinking and smoking weed around 16 years old. I would pretty much drink at parties but I would smoke weed almost daily. This continued for until age 22 when I got my first job out of college and I couldn't smoke weed because of potential drug tests. This is when I pretty much substituted weed for alcohol. I currently drink 3-4 times a week, usually 4-6 beers and around every 3 months or so I'll sometimes throw caution to the wind and smoke weed. My drinking/smoking as not caused really significant life altering damage to my life, but it has definitely impaired my ability to live a happy and healthy life and is without a doubt a problem. I always tend to drink/smoke only to the point where my major responsibilities can still be fulfilled.
I don't want to make this post too long and I will share a lot more details with other posts.
I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't think I am an alcoholic. I definitely have a problem with alcohol/weed though and have some addictive tendencies. But I have actually stopped a few in the past for months at a time and it has worked out, but when my life starts stressful I started with my old habits again.
Right now my goal is to stop drinking alone and stop smoking altogether. In social settings I actually don't drink a lot because I like to maintain composed (more for girls than anything else), but when I'm alone I don't care and tend to get really drunk. I still plan on having a few drinks on special social occasions (maybe like once a month) but even then I want to eventually stop drinking altogether (when I get to this point it will be more for health reasons than anything else). I know this is not how many would recommend me going about it but I know myself and my tendencies and this is the best way for me to do it.
This is Day 1 for me. Yesterday I had my last drinks alone. Today and tomorrow I have work so I know I'm not going to drink, but Monday I'm off all day. That will be the day to get through.
Wish me luck
Last edited by Ghostguyx; 08-13-2016 at 07:25 AM. Reason: Thought my thread would be better suited in another section of the forum, but actually it's very fitting here
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
You sound like me at 25. Unfortunately, I didn't stop smoking weed or drinking beer until I was 50. I didn't think I was an alcoholic at 25. Ooops!
I hope you can stay stopped, too! Life is so much better sober!!!!!!!!!
I hope you can stay stopped, too! Life is so much better sober!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 148
Hello! from a fellow 25,er
Bit different situation too mine, I know iam in the fast lane too a hopeless mess if I keep drinking the way I did.
Perhaps you have a year or two ahead before you come to the place where I am, but you are drinking alone, and you enjoy it - be careful with that combo.
Because at age 23, I drank 12 beers a week alone , Now at age 25 - it's 2 beers + 1 bottle of wine A NIGHT! ....then my weekly binge of 24beers on a Friday or Saturday .
And now i feel like I am at a fork in the road with the journey to the rest of my life.
Be careful
Bit different situation too mine, I know iam in the fast lane too a hopeless mess if I keep drinking the way I did.
Perhaps you have a year or two ahead before you come to the place where I am, but you are drinking alone, and you enjoy it - be careful with that combo.
Because at age 23, I drank 12 beers a week alone , Now at age 25 - it's 2 beers + 1 bottle of wine A NIGHT! ....then my weekly binge of 24beers on a Friday or Saturday .
And now i feel like I am at a fork in the road with the journey to the rest of my life.
Be careful
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 295
People don't always agree on what an "alcoholic" is but it doesn't sound good that you feel you have a drinking problem. (It's good that you can admit it, though.)
I hope you just give it up completely since full blown, obvious alcoholism is usually a thing that starts off as "just" a drinking problem before turning into an out of control obsession. An obsession that even the strongest, most disciplined of people cave into. Frequently pulling others down, too.
And it's not like you know what day it will happen.
Literally, it was overnight for me.
Hope you come back to this board often and keep us updated
. Best of luck
I hope you just give it up completely since full blown, obvious alcoholism is usually a thing that starts off as "just" a drinking problem before turning into an out of control obsession. An obsession that even the strongest, most disciplined of people cave into. Frequently pulling others down, too.
And it's not like you know what day it will happen.
Literally, it was overnight for me.
Hope you come back to this board often and keep us updated
. Best of luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 3
Day 2: Just got back from work, going to go to sleep because I have to go back tonight (I work night shift). It's easy not to drink today because I'm super tired and I know I have to go back to work in a handful of hours. I didn't think today was going to be a problem. The challenge is going to come monday (tomorrow) through wednesday when I have 3 days off.
Anyways thank you all for the responses and for the warm welcome. It's hard to give an estimate on paper about "how bad i got it" as far as my problem goes. My life/addictions has gone through so many different phases (both positive and negative) in the past few months/years that its hard to tell where i am now. I do know that reading a lot of this forum has really put the fear in me of what my future might hold if I dont nip this in the bud. I will write more tomorrow but I just want to say that right now I really want to focus on my short term goal of not drinking alone. Because I do enjoy drinking alone and have been doing so more and more frequently.I definitely agree its a dangerous combo.
Anyways thank you all for the responses and for the warm welcome. It's hard to give an estimate on paper about "how bad i got it" as far as my problem goes. My life/addictions has gone through so many different phases (both positive and negative) in the past few months/years that its hard to tell where i am now. I do know that reading a lot of this forum has really put the fear in me of what my future might hold if I dont nip this in the bud. I will write more tomorrow but I just want to say that right now I really want to focus on my short term goal of not drinking alone. Because I do enjoy drinking alone and have been doing so more and more frequently.I definitely agree its a dangerous combo.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 3
Day 3- Just got back from work. I did think about drinking for just a sec, but it quickly disappearing knowing I would have to come and write about how I drank. Writing here seems to make it more tangible, like i have to think through my impulses and actually be accountable, even if its just to complete stangers. Anyways so far so good but the day is technically still beginning. I'm going to go to sleep now. I'm going to be off work for a few days so I'm going to try to rediscover my hobbies and things that I enjoy sober. I'll probably post later today.
I look young for my age.
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 932
Congratulations on taking this on. I think you're exactly right. From what you've written so far, you may not be an alcoholic, but there appear to be some warning signs. Drinking alone; addictive personality; increasing volume; etc. This forum is filled with people who had similar habits when they were 25 (hello! I'm one of them!) who will tell you that they wished they had quit back then. It only gets harder from here on out.
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