D122y

Went to my monthly or so AA meeting.

The steps come up. Of course, there are AA experts there. Folks quoting the BB. It gets confusing. 11 and 3 go together. 5 relates to 12.....ok...

I know it works. However, as a newcomer clean for 15 months using SR and the internet, it seems excessive and daunting.

I know booze will destroy me if I ever drink again. It is drug. I am an addict.

Not giving up on AA, just looking for some insight and clarity from our high time AA folks here on SR.

Thanks.

sugarbear1

I'd rather listen to those who work the steps into their life, not quote the big book and talk and talk without a walk....

JamesfrmEngland

Take what you want and leave the rest. Personally, I have no interest in the steps and I feel doing them would be a hindrance not a help, just do what you feel comfortable doing.

Dee74

I hope you'll get some good advice from folks with first hand experience D122y

D

Berrybean

The only step you need to worry about at first is the first one. That will prepare you for the second. Then you'll be ready for the third....etc. They're in a order for a reason. And yes, it can be confusing. That's why it's suggested to have a sponsor take you through them. At your pace. When you're ready to start the work.

No rush. At first it's just staying sober one day at a time, getting to know people and identify a potential sponsor. That in itself can take a little time. (Although hopefully not 7 months or more like it took me!!)

MIRecovery

The steps are a blueprint for living a wonderful life without alcohol. Daunting, yes. Worth it? absolutely. If you are living a life that is happy, joyous and free you don't need the steps. If not they will be the best thing you have ever done

D122y

Thanks for help from my SR family.

sugarbear1

Working those steps saved my life, attending meetings can make me crazy! I get to one big book meeting, meet with my sponsor and make another meeting periodically.

Live those principles and steps! Sobriety is action

Dee74

reminder to all please

Dee
Moderator
SR

tomsteve

if i only went to a "monthly or so" meeting i wouldnt have understood anything either.
so i went to lots of meetings to understand and learn how to work the steps.
plus got a sponsor to help me.

are you reading the big book?

Fly N Buy

Three part answer - unity, recovery and service to a three part illness - body, mind and spirt.

Get a sponsor - do the steps, clean house and live life.

"Alcoholism is relieved of its power when honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness combine within me to change my question from why to how. Then I can get into the stream of life and out of my own way. "

You can do all these things friend - follow the path and pick up the simple tools. Have a friend show you the road map. I had to move my feet and not so much my brain - it was in the doing I started to understand

AnvilheadII

if you are interested in working the steps, then work them IN order....the little numbers off the left aren't just placeholders or thumbtacks! i'm old skool, so a notebook and a good pen would be requirements, my own copy of the Big Book and some quiet space and time.

Darwinia

I think AA is like anywhere else in life. Some stuff will be useful to some, not to others. Other parts of AA will then be good to those. Some AA members are nice, some not. Just like everywhere else.

Dharma33

Chiming in as an AA newbie.... Congrats on your sobriety

I'm just starting out too but I'm finding that 2-3 meetings a week the concepts are starting to sink in. Listening is key and I just keep reading the BB, and find it refreshing when I find on my own the parts (acceptance is the answer, etc) that are recited at the beginning of meetings. I'm finding also, meetings at different locations and times vary greatly as you probably have experienced. . Some I love, some I haven't returned to. I took advice from SR to go early and stay late. That's where I really make connections with people.

The fellowship alone has been the best thing for my recovery. Tomorrow for instance I'm meeting a few ladies from my homegroup at an open talk and coffee after. It's awesome. I'm also slowly beginning steps with a sponsor.

tomsteve

good on ya!!

i was reading some pages in my big book the other day, for only about the 500th time( in working with others) and a couple lines hit me. never remembered reading them before.
thought for sure someone done snuck in(again) and added stuff to my big book!

Fly N Buy

My experience is that AA is unlike anywhere else in life.

One primary purpose pulls a variety of people together solving their problem with the drink by using simple, clear cut instructions to overcome the spiritual disease.

All members are free to share their individual experience, strength and hope, certainly. We may identify closer with some friends stories than others but regardless, I don't take any of them. They are not mine at all.

Much like SR I reach a point of learning more who are unlike myself than similar. Of course we may feel more comfortable with others who are mirror images, but I have found this is not the way I gain understanding or meaning in my journey.

It is in the dissimilarity of personalities that I grow spiritually, I have found. It is in the roots of that love and tolerance that is our creed where we begin to walk in the sunlight of the spirit.

The program of AA is what we take away, together. It is our common solution to our common problem. The directions are clear how to work the program. It's as simple as ABC .....

D122y

Have a BB.

I am gtg with the first 3 steps. Step 4 is a sticking point.

The reason is making a list of short comings gets personal.

I know a sponser doesn't cars what they are...just need a sponser..

We have so many folks that offer sponser status...it is hard to choose...

IvanMike

Lots of good input so far, too much to quote all of it.

I didn't go with someone who offered to sponsor me. I saw a guy who had what I wanted. Not only was he clean, but he was comfortable in his own skin and had integrity. He knew what it was like to be me, and had found a way to progress beyond that.

He wasn't a Big Book thumper or an NA Basic Text thumper. (He had experience with both as he got clean in AA back when NA was in its infancy here in my state). He didn't view the texts as holy writ, but he let me know that the steps were the only way he had found that ever worked. He had experience, not theory.

If you can find a guy who can quote the book, it only proves that he has read it. Find a guy who had experience and has what you want and that's a different story. The journey my sponsor has led me on through the steps (and that he continues to aid me on as I go through them again) has produced change for the better. All of a sudden I'm starting to become one of those guys with experience. - How strange is that?

Consider this analogy. Say you have cancer. You can get chemo and radiation treatments, but you can also go to a support group to get help from people who are going through what you are, and also from patients who have been through the treatments and are in remission. Got me so far?

Here's the catch. If you just go to the support group, you're still going to have cancer and it's going to kill you eventually. You have to engage in the treatment if you want to get better.

They call them 12 step programs because the solution is the 12 steps. Otherwise they would call them going to meeting programs. The support and insight and identification with other addicts/alcoholics is invaluable, but in my experience it is the application of the steps in my life with the guidance of an experienced sponsor that has produced the change in my life which we call recovery.

StayStrong33

In addition to getting a sponsor and not thinking too far ahead on the steps, I'd recommend some big book or step study meetings. I found those to be very helpful in understanding the foundation I needed to lay and build upon.