Lauraxxx

So I'm no stranger to this site but I haven't been on here for a long time I felt it wasn't really helping. Nothing works for an addict except the next hit. I'm addicted to cocaine and alcohol. I went 3 weeks without anything I felt great I thought I've done this but here I am...again. I only had half of the cocaine i through the rest down the toilet but I did drink a large bottle of vodka over 2 days. Last night I got no sleep due to throwing up all night. I hate what I do who I have become. I had the best childhood and I have the best parents in the world and the best partner too. I don't know the reason I do it but I always do and im f***ing more the more I am doing it. Help?

doggonecarl

Maybe SR wasn't working. Maybe what wasn't working was relying solely on an online forum. More support might help. A structured substance abuse recovery program might help. You were against "meetings" before. Have you changed your mind?

Lauraxxx

I'm not totally against it but I just don't have the time to go. My place shuts at 5 nd I'm busy all day. I also tried in the past and I ran out scored straight away so I'm scared to try x

PurpleKnight

What support other than SR were you using?

No support was never going to work for me, I needed something to keep me focused on the task at hand, in those 3 weeks if SR was your only support, then surely it did a pretty good job.

My addiction without any 2nd opinion on things could convince me of anything, I needed something outside of myself to counteract what my addiction was telling me.

Go at things again, draw a line and make it happen!!

MrPL

Hi Laura,

I know what you are going through, I went through exactly the same things about 6 years ago (I am now back here because of drinking, but at least no more coke since then).

I did it by taking a break from life. I literally went to work and back home, and there I kept myself busy with all sorts of stuff, but the main thing was avoiding everything that could lead to coke (including drinking, still don't understand why I started that again).

If you did it for three weeks you got it in you, you just have to push it for longer (it took me four months before I managed to get back to normal life, so please don't think I am trying to make it sound easy).

All the best with your recovery and bring on day 2 (I am also on day 1 for my drinking by the way, and yesterday was day 16..., you are not alone).

P

Lauraxxx

Wow guys thank you. My only support is this website and me! I need to be stronger I need to push through. I don't even finish it nowadays so why am I buying it?? I need to get to the roots of my addiction. I'm from the uk and tbh therapy isn't great here I would have to pay privately to get good help which I don't have.
It is nice to know im not alone! Together we can do this!

Soberwolf

Dee74 posted this earlier Laura I think it's excellent reading x

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html

Dee74

Hi Laura

I realise recovery takes time and effort, but if we're honest, drinking took up a fair amount of time and effort too, right?

Maybe a recovery plan might be a good start?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

tomsteve

hold on....

you
"drink a large bottle of vodka over 2 days. Last night I got no sleep due to throwing up all night. "
but say you just dont have the time for recovery?
are you really as busy as you make out?
youve ran out and scored how many times and it hasnt been after leaving a meeting?

you made the time before for a meeting, but now theres no time?


instead of try how about do?

it doesnt matter the path or method used to get clean and sober, getting clean and sober has to be more important than ANYTHING- must be willing to do whatever is necessary.

augustine1

Hi Laura,

I'm definitely in the same boat as you and I believe we can both kick this. We have to get through the withdrawal which is really a mean joke, if you think about it. Not sure why the throwing up happens but it sure happens and also I have terrible stomach pains the other way.
We have to ride it out. I told people I had the flu. Seems to work as it sure looks the same.

Soberwolf

Welcome Augustine

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Augustine!!

january161992

me too

turns out those things have nothing to do with my depression and self hate

i was born uncomfortable in my own skin

for me drinking was as natural as breathing

the good news?

there is a solution!

Dee74

Welcome Augustine - glad you found us
Feel free to start your own thread if you like

D