Jtmlk

So after 5 or 6 months sober my two criteria for drinking ( see previous post) were met today and i had a drink.

I never intended to be totally abstinent and im not sure how i feel. Im on holiday at the moment, abroad with wife and children. We were watching a show earlier and i decided to order some sangria- albeit very weak sangria for my wife and me. I only had a couple of glasses - it was fine- no big deal - didnt feel any affects from it - didnt want any more and in fact the event was so unimpressive i doubt i will consider drinking the rest of the time we are here.
It tasted quite nice but i actually think i prefer the taste of lime and soda or lemonade.
On reflection, i couldnt even think about putting my body through what i used to and the thought of a hangover is just a turn off.
Im glad alcohol no longer has the power it used to have over me, and i am extremely aware of the dangers of moderation - know that route is unlikely to suceed. When i first gave up i longed for the time when i could only drink one night a week but i no longer want this as its a waste of time energy and money and ive got better goals to achieve now.
I just needed to post as im feeling rather reflective.

Anna

I'm not sure what you mean? You don't intend to abstain from alcohol. But you don't intend to moderate your drinking. So, are you planning to drink 'occasionally'? That sounds like moderating to me.

foryoumyson

Maybe in a way it was a good thing but i would be very careful. One drink for me and i know i'd be back to where i was.

resolute50

Yeah, I did the same back in 2007 and spent 6 years digging my grave again.
Good luck with your "moderate". It never worked for me or countless others on this site.

Lightning Bug

Is so early for you to be testing the waters. I know it is just a sangria, but maybe tomorrow it will be just a beer. And so on and so on. Snowball effect in play here. Wishing you well.

LadyBlue0527

I hate 2X4 posts but because of the outcome of my last go round with moderation I have to do this.

The above quote in your post is a lie you're telling yourself my friend. If alcohol had no power over you, you wouldn't have drank.

I apologize for sounding snarky and I seriously don't mean to. Posts like this make my hair stand on end. I can tell you that every time you pick up what leads you to say it's time to quit again will always be worse than the last time. There is no end in sight. You're on this board for a reason.

As long as you tip that glass to your mouth alcohol is still running your life.

ElleDee

LadyBlue is right. I've been there myself thinking I could moderate.
Good luck.

doggonecarl

Actually you did intend abstinence. In June you wrote:

Today your committment waivered. Maybe what you feel is guilt.

Mountainmanbob

I returned to the drink a few times and thought that I had it under control but, it never worked out for me.
MB

Dee74

Don't lose sight of the things that bought you here jtmlk

D

Trees39

I agree
moderation sucks.

Jtmlk

Thanks for your comments is given me things to think about

August252015

I see a lot of contradictions in your post. As others have said....moderation is a dangerous road, your AV is alive and talking, and I'd add - I haven't heard you talk about a program you are following.

Also..."medical detox taking months to complete"....not in the strict immediate sense and while things like some of the PAWS symptoms etc are scary and definitely real - it is not a hell you have to live through for months, most likely. And the other side is SO much better and really will arrive before you know it. This part sounds like an excuse to me if you're using it.

Good luck. I hope you look around and read- in earnest this time, perhaps (we have all said the things you did that people quoted back to you, and not meant them one bit).

Bruno1979

Give it a miss Jtmlk, take it as a close shave and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Bruno.

MidnightRider

I know that I cannot moderate. Tried and failed.

My drink of choice now is Peach Iced Tea!