Lightning Bug

So flipping nervous! Ack!

Hi everyone... I got hit with SR Withdrawal so bad I was ready to bust out the big guns and hack it and fix it myself! I am a database programmer by trade so it would have been easy! Don't worry SR, hands are off now that I can have my fix again.

Anyway, need feedback from my friends here. In the last post of my journal (Lightning Bug's Accountability) I posted the email that I sent to my 7 brothers and sisters chronicling my destruction, inevitable fall and my rebirth as a sober person. Can you read it and see how it comes off? I really tried to make it sound like I did it all the bad stuff to myself, that they couldn't do anything to stop it, I had to accept it and do what had to be done. And that I am doing the work I need to do to say sober.

Nobody has responded yet and I am anxious about it. Just want to make sure I sound together, focused and I especially wanted to make it clear that I am taking responsibility for myself.

Long, sorry, but you know I am a wordy girl! Excuse any curses.

Thanks friends!

sleepie

I think, if I had been on the other side, I would prefer brevity and some evidence of your sober endeavors. However, I am not your sibling so it is rather hard to say.

JD

Hey bug. This is just me and everyone and situation is different. The pain I've caused is not going to be cured over night. It's going to take a good long time before people in my life will believe that I've made concrete changes. And my actions will get me there, not my words. I'm guessing your siblings have heard some of this before. I wouldn't expect them to all of a sudden think anything has changed. Sorry to be blunt, but time and actions will be necessary to achieve what I think you wanted to achieve in your email. Show them that you truly have changed. You can do it. Wishing you the best.

Lightning Bug

This wasn't an attempt for amends, I am making those individually and those amends are for sending crazy emails) This was a blanket explaination to siblings I live a great distance from and are not close to. They have been oblivious to my situation until this Spring.

Lightning Bug

Brevity is not a word in my vocab! I could have detailed my action plan better.

sleepie

Ok. Good luck. I often find simplicity is best in most things.

Lightning Bug

Thanks, simplicity is good. My siblings know me and my writing style, so they have come to expect length from me. Thanks again for the help!

Lightning Bug

Good news! Got two amazing and supportive emails from my sisters!

Della1968

The title of this made me literally lol

Lightning Bug

Well I was hoping that your drink would come spurting out of your nose when you LOLed. Did it?

teatreeoil007

LB: I understand about brevity, actually. I tend to be the same way...and as I told someone at work yesterday: I am VERY thorough. I don't seem to have a "half-way" or mid-point when it comes to certain matters. This is very good in certain situations. It sort of brings an intensity; speaks of passion. You know your siblings better than I do. I kind of think they will understand that letter is YOU...and it is just how you are, so hopefully they will benefit from it and you will too of course. I'm a bit loquacious. Speaking for myself, I believe it is linked to passion, but also likely part of being ADHD.

Lightning Bug

They will look at the email and definitely think there goes Laura again, writing a book when an article would do.

It is part of my ADHD, though. I have to condense the million or so thoughts in my head and write them down coherently. So I ramble. That is just how I roll.

And I am passionate about writing. It can be both a gift and a curse.

thomas11

Bug, no one knows your situation better than you and your siblings, so I trust your judgement as an adult. I would echo what others have said in that demonstrating you have changed over a period of time is probably the ONLY thing that will convince them completely. You write well.

Regarding demonstrating trust, I've reached a point where I don't actually care what my family thinks. If you''ve followed my threads, there is a history there. But I'm still dumbfounded that they don't think this "not drinking thing" is real. Its kind of funny actually.

Lightning Bug

See, that is where it gets hard. I haven't seen any of them in about 4 years. All our interactions are in email. They will just have to see me writing authentic emails instead of drunkspeak full of crazy talk. That is the only way to demonstrate.

thomas11

Be prepared to not gain 100% acceptance right away. Just mentally prepare yourself for that. Think in terms of months. 6 months of lucid emails and they might start to change their tune. Make any sense?

Lightning Bug

Makes perfect sense..

teatreeoil007

Laura,

My hubby is also ADHD and he tends to 'think out loud'; talking a lot...and since he has a gazillion thoughts going around in his head at any given moment, this is what he is talking through as he talks...I have to remind myself of that as to live with it can be annoying when I need some peace and quiet. He takes this boundary personally sometimes, but I am always reminding him it's not a slam at him, it's just a need I have to be able to tune out and get my own thoughts re-ordered/processed. But, he is so dang smart it's not EVEN funny!