Joe89

Well I say today, I've been struggling with alcohol and drug (cocaine) abuse for a few years now, and I've lost count of how many times I've told myself I've had enough. Then Friday will roll around and it's back to square one. Well today I want to try again and go tee total. Every time I go on a bender something worse happens, and it needs to stop before I lose everything. I have to accept the fact that I can't go out and have one drink, it's either all or nothing.

Problem is, it's my birthday on Wednesday and I'll be going out for a meal with my family (sad that now through my drinking my birthday is now a problem!). Now I won't refuse to go because I'm too scared of the temptation to drink, I will just have to refuse to drink. Now my family are all social drinkers (no alcoholics) and will be asking why I'm not drinking. I've tried to talk to my Dad about my problem before but get the usual "well can't you just stop at a couple, you're being too harsh on yourself" etc etc.

So I know there's only one solution, stick to soft drinks and keep a smile on myself, I guess I don't know what I'm asking here, just might be good to hear from people who have been through he same thing and get abit of advice.

I only just discovered this forum today, and reading through past threads and similar stories has really helped me today. Thank you.

Lorax1981

Hi joe, yesterday was my birthday and I can honestly say I am so glad to be waking up this morning without a hangover or worse. Sober is so much better for folks like us. Have a good bday!

Hammers

Hi Joe, glad you found the site. I have used cocaine
in the past, maybe once amonth/six weeks, or not
for five/six months. For me, drinking lots on a daily
basis is my problem.

From my experiences, which may not suit your
situation I would talk to people here
about your addictions. If no-one in your family is
an addict, I suppose they can't really understand,
like your father's well intentioned answer.

In the past when I have tried to stop and was put
into a situation like that I would just say that that
I couldn't drink because of medication. I have
slipped disks in my lower back which most of the
people I know are aware of, so it doesn't cause any
attention when I said...

"Thanks, but I am taking my
medication, my back has been playing me up this
week"

Stay here and visit regular. Lots of sound advice in
the Stickies at the top.

Good luck,

Nicholas.

Ruby2

Happy birthday and welcome to SR. Celebrations can be hard. You're anticipating all the things your family will say to you and you just don't want to drink. It's your birthday. Can you pick a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol? Or change the plans and say you want to celebrate with cake and ice cream and go to a patisserie instead.

It's likely your dad will not understand addiction if he's saying "why can't you stop after just one?" My dad would say the same thing. He just doesn't get it that if I have one, I absolutely have to drink more. I found other support in my life by going to AA meetings and talking to people afterwards. It helped me to have support in real life. Coming on here helps a whole lot. So keep coming back.

Hammers

I tried not to complicate things in those
situations. Although alcohol free places
etc are good

I would just say I was taking medication
for something un connected to alcohol.

Usually stopped the insisting straight
away, worked for me, at that point in
time. I am just at the end of day three,
so it only helped on those instances, but
try to find what works best for you.

Good luck and ATB

sobersolstice

My birthday is around the corner too, and will not drink. I did it in 2012, and will do it again. I stayed home and made spaghetti.

Joe89

Thank you all so much for the replies, feels good to be able talk about this with people who understand for once! That's the hard part for me (and most others I imagine), no one really gets it, I guess the people close to me think because I'm not drinking constantly on a daily basis there can't be a problem. As mentioned by Nicholas their intentions are good, and I'm lucky to have a great family. I'm doing this for them just as much as myself, it needs to stop before I do something that directly effects them (even though I would say my mood swings and depression already does to some extent).

As for refusing their offers for drink, I have work the next day so I'll just let them know I have to be up extra early and need to keep a clear head.

Thanks again.

Joe

Hammers

If that works for you then do it.

Good luck and ATB.

Berrybean

What better gift to yourself than a new life, free from alcohol. Just tell them you've decided to treat yourself better.

Happy birthday for Wednesday.

MaidenNZ

Hi Joe, I know exactly what you mean. I quit a week before my birthday. I didn't plan it that way it just happened like that I don't think I even registered that my birthday was so close. Anyway. long story short, I made it through the day and night and while it might have been a little different (first straight b-day in 35 years) I woke up the next day feeling great and really proud of myself.
One of the greatest gifts Ive ever given myself is sobriety. Guess you have to decide if youre in this for the long haul or just in between special occasions.

Soberwolf

Hi Joe89

Dee74

Welcome aboard Joe

I would probably try to change the venue. It's your birthday right?

D

PrinzessinD

Sounds terrible to lie but I have told people I'm on anti - biotics and I can't drink. LOL. They don't bother you after that, the conversation and questioning is over. However, if it's your mother, she might as why you are on anti - biotics.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Joe!!