Want to be sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Northwest
Posts: 274
Want to be sober
I am from England obviously but our condition is the same. I have been controlled drinking for a while which statistics show that around 25% of people can do. I made tonight the day I would go back to abstinence starting tomorrow, I have drunk 1/2 litre of vodka, 3 pints of Swedish cider, and drunk drove to the garage to geta 1/4 litre of vodka. I have tried to drink the 1/4 litre of vodka, drank a bit but it's repulsing me, whereas normally I would quickly drink it, so I've wasted £3. But the fact I have not been able to drink it shows the vast improvement I have made. I hope to go abstinent from tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey James, not far away from you, only a stone's throw across the Irish sea!! 
Abstinence for me was the way forward, I used to gauge my volumes, whether they were decreasing or increasing, used to use the DrinkAware calculator for my units every day.
But life started to improve when I finally drew a line under alcohol.
You can do this, make tomorrow your Day 1 and go from there!!
Abstinence for me was the way forward, I used to gauge my volumes, whether they were decreasing or increasing, used to use the DrinkAware calculator for my units every day.
But life started to improve when I finally drew a line under alcohol.
You can do this, make tomorrow your Day 1 and go from there!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 350
The being repulsed at the attempt to drink happened to me too during my 4th and last slip. I got a bottle of cheap, low alcohol Champagne (the only alcohol whose taste I could stand), poured a glass, took a big drink and was immediately sick in my head, stomach, everywhere. Poured the rest down the sink - didn't even get a buzz (WAS sick for 2 days tho). The same thing happened after I gave up social/moderate consumption at 31. 3 months after my last cocktail, I tried one and was sick like that. Became a non-drinker for 20+ yrs. If your constitution is like mine, we simply weren't built for the stuff and should be grateful. I agree, you body was telling you exactly what to do. Keep listening. And good decision James.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Sitting there dry heaving trying to get some vodka down , done that not so long ago James, I feel your pain . I think you now know its time to change all that and you can . We are all here to help .
Dame ! Hi , what great example of recovery and your description of "we simply weren't built for the stuff" is a very profound .
Dame ! Hi , what great example of recovery and your description of "we simply weren't built for the stuff" is a very profound .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Northwest
Posts: 274
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi James
I noticed you referred to yourself as a 'cognitive scientist' the other day. How might that approach inform your plan?
D
I noticed you referred to yourself as a 'cognitive scientist' the other day. How might that approach inform your plan?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Northwest
Posts: 274
Originally Posted by Dame
The being repulsed at the attempt to drink happened to me too during my 4th and last slip. I got a bottle of cheap, low alcohol Champagne (the only alcohol whose taste I could stand), poured a glass, took a big drink and was immediately sick in my head, stomach, everywhere. Poured the rest down the sink - didn't even get a buzz (WAS sick for 2 days tho). The same thing happened after I gave up social/moderate consumption at 31. 3 months after my last cocktail, I tried one and was sick like that. Became a non-drinker for 20+ yrs. If your constitution is like mine, we simply weren't built for the stuff and should be grateful. I agree, you body was telling you exactly what to do. Keep listening. And good decision James.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Northwest
Posts: 274
Originally Posted by Dee74
SMART Recovery has a basis in CBT James.
D
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Northwest
Posts: 274
Originally Posted by Thomas59
Sitting there dry heaving trying to get some vodka down , done that not so long ago James, I feel your pain . I think you now know its time to change all that and you can . We are all here to help .
Dame ! Hi , what great example of recovery and your description of "we simply weren't built for the stuff" is a very profound .
Dame ! Hi , what great example of recovery and your description of "we simply weren't built for the stuff" is a very profound .
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
James,
You are very physically addicted.
Your brain seems to be working from a logical communication stand point, but drinking that much booze.....is illogical.
There is a very good chance you have months of anxiety waiting for you when you finally rationalize it is time to face the music and get clean.
Getting clean is painful. But, it is the logical thing to do. No living organism was designed to drink alcohol. It is a stewed up, highly addictive toxin that slowly fries our brains and bodies to death.
I have been exactly in your shoes. I never want to go back.
We are here when you are ready. Get clean sir.
Thanks for the post.
You are very physically addicted.
Your brain seems to be working from a logical communication stand point, but drinking that much booze.....is illogical.
There is a very good chance you have months of anxiety waiting for you when you finally rationalize it is time to face the music and get clean.
Getting clean is painful. But, it is the logical thing to do. No living organism was designed to drink alcohol. It is a stewed up, highly addictive toxin that slowly fries our brains and bodies to death.
I have been exactly in your shoes. I never want to go back.
We are here when you are ready. Get clean sir.
Thanks for the post.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
I've been having some great discussions lately with some of my recovered friends regarding 'rigorous honesty.' I know that this is an AA term, but all the recovery paths I've researched have all had 'honesty' (rigorous, or whatever kind) in their bedrock.
On the 6th, you posted...............:
Today you've posted........(in part)..........:
...more like you've been in and out of recovery......still in the disease.
...and on your profile here, under 'Sobriety Date' you've stated.........:
"...31/05/2015-January 2016 first time, second time still trying..."
Since you're still trying, it might be better to leave this blank till you actually get 'a' DOS. Today (07/08/16) might be a good date...........just a suggestion.
(o:
On the 6th, you posted...............:
Originally Posted by JamesfrmEngland
I am from England obviously but our condition is the same. I have been controlled drinking for a while which statistics show that around 25% of people can do. I made tonight the day I would go back to abstinence starting tomorrow, I have drunk 1/2 litre of vodka, 3 pints of Swedish cider, and drunk drove to the garage to geta 1/4 litre of vodka. I have tried to drink the 1/4 litre of vodka, drank a bit but it's repulsing me, whereas normally I would quickly drink it, so I've wasted £3. But the fact I have not been able to drink it shows the vast improvement I have made. I hope to go abstinent from tomorrow.
Originally Posted by JamesfrmEngland
...I have been in recovery for a while so I just need to put what I know into action...
...and on your profile here, under 'Sobriety Date' you've stated.........:
"...31/05/2015-January 2016 first time, second time still trying..."
Since you're still trying, it might be better to leave this blank till you actually get 'a' DOS. Today (07/08/16) might be a good date...........just a suggestion.
(o:
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I'm a bit ashamed to admit, but I remember I started to drive heave just reaching for the bottle. I was a weekend warrior, and on Friday when I'd reach for the bottle for that first drink I'd dry heave and my eyes would water. What is that telling us? Its tells us we're not supposed to be doing it. Of course by the 3rd drink itw as like water. Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi James,
Glad you are here and posting. I know I experimented with controlled drinking/moderation on and off for years, and the end result was the same, I ended up drinking more than originally planned, and the counting drinks and bargaining with myself (should I or shouldn't I have just one more) was exhausting.
On NYE I decided that 2016 was going to be my first of many sober years, and with the support of SR and following my recovery plan, which consists of the site, reading, exercise, journaling and mindfulness. I have just over seven months sober.
You can do this, and I promise you it is worth it.
Glad you are here and posting. I know I experimented with controlled drinking/moderation on and off for years, and the end result was the same, I ended up drinking more than originally planned, and the counting drinks and bargaining with myself (should I or shouldn't I have just one more) was exhausting.
On NYE I decided that 2016 was going to be my first of many sober years, and with the support of SR and following my recovery plan, which consists of the site, reading, exercise, journaling and mindfulness. I have just over seven months sober.
You can do this, and I promise you it is worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 30
My goal is to be 100 percent abstinent too. I have been struggling with doing a night binge one time every 30 days lately. I hope to make it past the hump this time. The anxiety and depression is ruthless right now, like usual. We have another day to try.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Northwest
Posts: 274
Originally Posted by Delilah1
Hi James,
Glad you are here and posting. I know I experimented with controlled drinking/moderation on and off for years, and the end result was the same, I ended up drinking more than originally planned, and the counting drinks and bargaining with myself (should I or shouldn't I have just one more) was exhausting.
On NYE I decided that 2016 was going to be my first of many sober years, and with the support of SR and following my recovery plan, which consists of the site, reading, exercise, journaling and mindfulness. I have just over seven months sober.
You can do this, and I promise you it is worth it.
Glad you are here and posting. I know I experimented with controlled drinking/moderation on and off for years, and the end result was the same, I ended up drinking more than originally planned, and the counting drinks and bargaining with myself (should I or shouldn't I have just one more) was exhausting.
On NYE I decided that 2016 was going to be my first of many sober years, and with the support of SR and following my recovery plan, which consists of the site, reading, exercise, journaling and mindfulness. I have just over seven months sober.
You can do this, and I promise you it is worth it.
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