jessie65

Hi all, I'm 8 months sober. Most days my mood and state of mind is okay, but some days, like today, I feel like I'm losing my mind and tiny things set me off.
I'm ashamed to admit that I still embarrass myself on a regular basis. Today I'm feeling shame & embarrassment because I flipped out in front of my kids for something so petty and stupid. It made me look very unstable (and maybe I am? )

I can't change what happened and I'm just beside myself. I don't know why I have these meltdowns.
Can anybody relate?

Dame

Hi Jessie,

8 months is such an amazing achievement. But if you drank for more than 8 months, surely you can be a bit more forgiving of yourself. Give yourself more time, I'd say Heck, I was a non-drinker the better part of my life, and I flipped out often enough.

Also, I never had kids because it IS the hardest job in the world , and I knew I could never do it. The fact that women do it everyday (and so well) fills me with awe and admiration. Please give yourself a break. You are doing the best you can. Stressors unique to women, hormonal stuff, our tendency to over-criticize ourselves....... these don't help. Most important: you didn't drink. Is there a friend or relative you could call for a "cool down" chat? You could chat about "light" subjects just to shift the mood and get your humor back? When I feel a panic attack coming on I drink a glass of water and put ALL my focus on my breath.
I haven't read your posts, but you sound like such a lovely person who has worked hard for recovery. Instead of being ashamed? I'd like to see you give yourself a healthy treat today. Love yourself Jessie, and have a wonderful weekend, OK?

Mountainmanbob

Look for the Serenity thread it helps us to keep track.
Bob

Soberwolf

Your doing great at 8 months it's good your reflecting but don't beat yourself up just try your best to learn from it x

Anna

Jessie, 8 months of recovery is great. And, we all lose it sometimes. I think the main thing is to try to learn and move on. Don't focus on the negative.

jessie65

Thank-you all for responding. I don't know why I feel so 'crazy' some days, I feel like just screaming and crying like a little kid, and I have teens of my own. I threw a fit over something of mine that got broken, I don't think I've reacted like that in 35 years. I tried to smooth things over today but I know they think mom is a little off her rocker.

I do appreciate the kind words, it really does help.

Dame, thank-you so much for your thoughtful response, I appreciate it so much.

Berrybean

What does your daily recovery plan work look like at the moment? If you tell us what you're already doing, perhaps someone will have some suggestions of new things to add in.

Lightning Bug

You know what kids are great at doing? Forgiving. Then forgive yourself.

Dame

You are more than Welcome Jessie. Your 8 month accomplishment gives me such hope for myself. And at the risk of sounding like the "crazy perimenopausal lady" again, you might want to give those hormones some extra attention. Peri snuck up on me, and threw me into the whole drinking mess. Not trying to worry you, but they can be quite "crazy making."
Thanks for the inspiration

jessie65

Hi berrybean, I never really made a recovery plan, I just stopped drinking. I guess I was one of those that just got sick & tired of being sick & tired.
I have developed more interests and went back to some of my old hobbies. I work out daily, walk a lot, eat healthy (most days!), and I enjoy the little things in life again.

Most of the time I am content in my sobriety, but once in a while I go into my self-pity mode which leads to irritability and frustration, maybe that leads to my outbursts, I don't know. Maybe it's no coincidence that I had my tantrum on a Friday, the weekends were my drinking time.

jessie65

Dame, I do think some is hormones, I think I've been in peri-menopause for years! lol
Thank-you

Berrybean

Ahhh. Well, maybe now is the time to make one, and work on it a little while each day. It doesn't take much time, but it makes a massive difference.

Dee's thread is a good place to start... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html

Why settle for sobriety when you could have recovery? There are two parts to getting well. Yiu dealt with the alcoholic DRINKING by getting sober. Maybe now it's time to address the alcoholic THINKING.

Good luck with it. Share and ask around on here for advise. People have used so many different things that there is always someone who can help.

chrcarlson

Hey Jessie, I quit Dec 9 2015. I get a bit snippy sometimes. At least these days I recognize it.

Dee74

None of us is perfect Jessie, for sure
Hows it going now?

D

Soberwolf

A great link to building a recovery plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

PurpleKnight

Don't beat yourself up, there are gonna be good days, and not so good days, even in Sobreity, we are human with feelings and emotions.

Hang in there!!