First day wanting a drink
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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First day wanting a drink
I shared this is substance abuse be accident but can't copy. On day 29, everything was great!! Went to see my granny in nursing home and decided I should get a shot of wine. The idea lasted less then a minute, smacked myself for being an idiot, and the thought passed. I can't stop beating myself up for such a dumb thought. Off to the gym now, wrecking my brain of how I could be so dumb in a thought!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 148
Ty everyone for the kind words. I feel a little better after leaving the gym. I just thought, since I've had no positive experience with alcohol I would never think of a drink. I've wanted to stop for so long, but couldnt, physically. I will be more aware of ever having these thoughts again. I guess I'm still sort of proud that I didn't act on it.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
No you didn't act on it and that's the most important thing. These thoughts tend to come up at times and sometimes for no apparent reason (other than it's how our brains seem to be wired)
Don't beat yourself up. It's part of all the healing you're doing and every time you ignore it or talk it away, you've healed a little more. You've dealt with it without drinking! Excellent job!
Don't beat yourself up. It's part of all the healing you're doing and every time you ignore it or talk it away, you've healed a little more. You've dealt with it without drinking! Excellent job!
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Temptations are normal in recovery- what matters is not that you had a craving, but how you handled the craving and what you did to over come it. The more times you shut down cravings the easier it will become and the less you will have to deal with it.
You can do this!
You can do this!
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Thoughts are just that, thoughts. Your maturity comes through in how you interpret them and act on them. Read a little on mindfulness, I'm not advocating although I love it, but it has some ideas about how thoughts are not you. So does CBT for that matter.
So, in short, nothing to feel bad about. Feeling bad about nothing is what's bad
KP
So, in short, nothing to feel bad about. Feeling bad about nothing is what's bad
KP
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by Determined1977 
I shared this is substance abuse be accident but can't copy. On day 29, everything was great!! Went to see my granny in nursing home and decided I should get a shot of wine. The idea lasted less then a minute, smacked myself for being an idiot, and the thought passed. I can't stop beating myself up for such a dumb thought. Off to the gym now, wrecking my brain of how I could be so dumb in a thought!!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
you thought of wine
you DECIDED to NOT get the wine...
thoughts are just thoughts, the decision to not drink was an action
we can't beat ourselves up over thoughts, thoughts will occur without foresight... it's the actions that are what matter
you done good...
you DECIDED to NOT get the wine...
thoughts are just thoughts, the decision to not drink was an action
we can't beat ourselves up over thoughts, thoughts will occur without foresight... it's the actions that are what matter
you done good...
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Are you in a recovery program? As was mentioned about meditation and other programs and tools, they teach you skills - AND, perhaps more important (or at least connecting to what precedes these urges) is they teach you how cunning and baffling (in AA terms) our disease is. Your AV simply WILL come up; you never know when. That is normal. How we deal with that voice is what makes the difference in drinking and not.
One thing a lot of people will tell you to do is "play the tape through." Rather than just "white knuckling" through an urge or craving - which sounds like what you did, and certainly what needs to be done sometimes- is to think about what would happen if you drank. You have some wine, you think it's cool and all's good. You decide to have dinner, and a little more wine would be great with that steak you're having. After dinner - well, there's another bottle or round to be had....and a few hours later you're drunk. You can't sleep well or you wake up and remember something hurtful you said or stupid you did. You feel really crappy. Or whatever version of a bad scenario for you happened in the past- and will happen again. Make sense?
Stopping to think about the consequences- ones we have faced in the past that made us stop drinking in the first place- is important in choosing not to drink - those things, or worse, will happen again.
Keep going! You can do it.
One thing a lot of people will tell you to do is "play the tape through." Rather than just "white knuckling" through an urge or craving - which sounds like what you did, and certainly what needs to be done sometimes- is to think about what would happen if you drank. You have some wine, you think it's cool and all's good. You decide to have dinner, and a little more wine would be great with that steak you're having. After dinner - well, there's another bottle or round to be had....and a few hours later you're drunk. You can't sleep well or you wake up and remember something hurtful you said or stupid you did. You feel really crappy. Or whatever version of a bad scenario for you happened in the past- and will happen again. Make sense?
Stopping to think about the consequences- ones we have faced in the past that made us stop drinking in the first place- is important in choosing not to drink - those things, or worse, will happen again.
Keep going! You can do it.
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