theTHINman

It probably has a lot to do with the still-lingering anxiety symptoms I'm having at the two-month mark, but I get anxious thinking about having to hang around people who are going to be drinking in a let's-get-smashed fashion. A few drinks with dinner or on the golf course or something is one thing, no problem, but when I know that people are going to be really smashed it kind of frightens me. I don't know why, as I was that guy pretty much every time, but it's almost like people turn into an alien species and I have no way of interacting with them.

A good portion of it comes from me worrying about not being as loud or funny or uproarious or spontaneous or whatever; like everyone else is on a different plane and I feel like a dumbass not being able to dial into that frequency. I went out with my wife and another couple over the weekend and they got pretty hammered and I was just kind of sitting there watching the clock and fretting from after dinner at 10 until 2, when the bar closed. I must have drank like 15 club sodas with lime.

Any other sober ones out there get skittish around drunks?

Soberwolf

Congratulations on 2 months no real point hanging out with ppl who you know are planning to get smashed ?

theTHINman

Well it was kind of unavoidable, as we had a dinner date with the couple and I was the DD for the evening. Plus, one of the other people was my wife, so I can't really ditch her. I guess I just have an inherent fear of other people (social anxiety?) and when they're unstable it makes it even more pronounced. I think I'm just going to start thinking of them as noisy farm animals once they reach that point and deal with them accordingly.

Anna

I don't hang out with drunks either. I think that recovery takes some lifestyle changes and for me, that's been important.

Bunny211

Yep. I can't stand being around people who are drunk. I've left weddings before dinner was over...my recovery has to come first.

Mountainmanbob

In early sobriety I found out that it was not much fun hanging out with my old drunken friends you will meet new ones and they will be sober good luck Bob


Note not all drink alcoholic and those ones don't bother me at all of course one or two drinks never worked for me.

theTHINman

I guess I'm in a bit of a bind here, since most all of my good friends drink pretty hard when they do go at it. And this is not some situation where it's a group of people I only see at the bar or something. This includes my wife, four best friends and cousin, all of whom I cannot not have in my life. I don't feel that it threatens my sobriety, however, in that I do not crave or want alcohol anymore, but being around them when wasted right now is uncomfortable. I suppose I can always just excuse myself early and go to bed or something, since most of the antics don't seem to come out until after midnight.

MLD51

That is a sticky situation. Can you explain this to your wife and let her know how you feel without her feeling insulted or threatened? Just tell her it makes you really uncomfortable and that it would be nice if you could both leave right after dinner, or at least earlier. If she doesn't want to leave, you can, after making sure she has another safe way to get home. Or you can go back later and pick her up. Your recovery comes first.

I get bored really fast when I'm hanging around with people who are drinking heavily. So I always have a plan for leaving when I feel like it. For me it's as easy as always driving my own car. My friends who drink are never insulted when I take off - they all understand why I'm doing it.

teatreeoil007

Good job staying sober around all that drinking!

Sorry I can't say much about what do because I just no longer am around that stuff. Everyone in my life now knows I don't drink anymore and they seem to respect it.

If something is just going to be a drunk-fest, I opt out. If something turns out to be a drunk-fest, I'll leave and if anyone in my life makes an issue of that or doesn't understand, 'oh well'. They'll just have to deal with it. I made it known to my siblings in March that I no longer drink and they seem to accept it. But, I am at a point where I don't care what others think; I have to do what's best for me.

STAY STRONG, friend!

Mountainmanbob

I have learned that while in those situations it never hurts to go take a walk get outside get some fresh air and when I come back no one missed me
Bob

Jeni26

I totally understand you. I cannot bear to be around drunk people any more. It makes me supremely anxious and emotional.

I have decided that I choose not to hang around them which can cause some problems with family, but I have to put my well-being first.

I recently told my husband that I will not be going round to his brothers from now on. Last time they got drunk together and as I was driving I was stuck, well unless I left him there...which I was tempted to do.

I meant it. I will not being doing it again. Being stuck with 2 loud obnoxious drunks was hell on earth. No more.

teatreeoil007

Right on Jeni!!

JoeCree

My brother who was a big drinking partner for me, hasnt even come to my house this summer. He's pissed that im not getting smashed with him anymore... deep down he's scared.
Another big drinking buddy of mine has decided to not drink when he comes over to hang out with me, which includes watching sports etc.. my wife makes sure to cook some good grub, and he finds himself really enjoying the 'sober' life when he's here. He actually comes by more, and now when I go to his place he's not drinking.

Different strokes. I think you need yo embrace the people who truly embrace you.

On The Road

There's a lot of good stuff in here. . .

Dee74

I think it's normal to feel skittish around driunks at 2 months.

Nowadays I'm not worried - but I don't seek out the company of drunks either - not through fear but because I'm likely to be a little sharp tongued.

D