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Anxiety and shame yy?

Old 07-29-2016, 10:03 AM
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Anxiety and shame yy?

Why am I so nervous to waitress tonight? Why do I feel shameful about waitressing as a second job? Mind you, I had no shame laying in bed for 6 months, using my unemployment to drink 24 hours a day? I guess I am grateful at the ability to feel...and ZERO desire to use!!!
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Old 07-29-2016, 11:18 AM
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Oh honey! There is absolutely NO SHAME in workin' as a waitress! Just think of all them tips. Seriously-waitressing can be darn hard work and ain't no shame in that. Ain't no shame in just having a job. It calls for accountability and jobs are hard to come be these, days, they tell me. So be glad you gotta job and take pride in your work, no matter what kinda job you got. Take pride in be sober, no matter how long you been clean and sober. That's good pride, not bad pride. And, I'm glad you got no desire to use or drink. That's good desire.
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Old 07-29-2016, 11:25 AM
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There is no shame whatsoever determined

I expect all of us are nervous on our first day in a new job. I'm sure you will do great

Go for it
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Old 07-29-2016, 11:33 AM
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Ty guys...don't know why I'm so nervous... maybe cause it's the first job I've started sober in a long time...Hope it goes as well as my other job..please keep ur fingers crossed
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Old 07-29-2016, 12:02 PM
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It's a honest job that is hard. No reason to feel shameful.
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Old 07-29-2016, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Determined1977 View Post
Why am I so nervous to waitress tonight? Why do I feel shameful about waitressing as a second job? Mind you, I had no shame laying in bed for 6 months, using my unemployment to drink 24 hours a day? I guess I am grateful at the ability to feel...and ZERO desire to use!!!
you dont have any reason to feel shame.
but im glad youre asking why!
are you feeling some low self esteem,guilt, or insecurity? maybe youre feeling you dont measure up?

personally im very impressed to see you have the drive and motivation to work 2 jobs. i dont think i could ever do that.
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Old 07-29-2016, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Determined1977 View Post
Ty guys...don't know why I'm so nervous... maybe cause it's the first job I've started sober in a long time...Hope it goes as well as my other job..please keep ur fingers crossed
FEAR!!!!
it sucks.

youre gonna do great. just be YOU.
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Old 07-29-2016, 12:13 PM
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It's an honorable job. You're attending to people's needs..not always in the best of conditions. Focus on the spirit of helping with a cheerful attitude. Your customers will appreciate it.
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Old 07-29-2016, 12:18 PM
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The shame comes from all the questions... ur 38 have a masters and your a waitress?? Got that first day of training. My other job, the counseling vets is so gratifying, but I am in such a hole from drinking, I need a second income. The fear is not knowing the whole menu, lol. When I waitresses 5 years ago, I'd memorize 100 drinks per night. Now, I am struggling. Is it all the years of drinking (4 years) or my older age. Either way..I'm off...wish me luck
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Old 07-29-2016, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Determined1977 View Post
The shame comes from all the questions... ur 38 have a masters and your a waitress??
welp, you could come up with a good reply:
"i know!! can ya believe i spent all that money and here i am doing a job that im happier in than any other job ive had!?!?!"
or

" yeah!! and the cook needed a doctorate to work here!!"

or

"yes, so i will really be greatful for the 20% tip you leave!"

that last one might not be appropriate, but i think its funny.

now, how about going and lookin in the mirror and telling yourself something like,
" what other people think about me doesnt matter because i love me today."

everything will fall into place. you WILL memorize the menu.
and it reads like this is just temporary? so good on ya for working double duty!

and thank you for helping our vets!!

i very proud of you for putting in the footwork to get your life straightened out.

did i mention

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Old 07-29-2016, 01:41 PM
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Awww ty so much Tom, as I am here 30 min early sitting outside a nervous wreck. Yes, this is temporary but if I like it, maybe a bit longer. And it's the other workers that question me, lol...mostly kids. Well one more cig and off I go. Ty for calming me a bit. First time shaking..not wdrawals related )).. hope I don't drop someone's food lol. Worst case scenario hooters is always hiring...lol
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Old 07-29-2016, 02:02 PM
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Hi Determined, I hope you had a great first day! Check back and let us know how it went. I don't think I could ever be a server....I would mix up orders and drop everything! :-) Kuddos!
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Old 07-29-2016, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Determined1977 View Post
The shame comes from all the questions... ur 38 have a masters and your a waitress?? Got that first day of training. My other job, the counseling vets is so gratifying, but I am in such a hole from drinking, I need a second income. The fear is not knowing the whole menu, lol. When I waitresses 5 years ago, I'd memorize 100 drinks per night. Now, I am struggling. Is it all the years of drinking (4 years) or my older age. Either way..I'm off...wish me luck
It's like riding a bike

I waitressed with many people over the years, that had degrees and their reasons for being there were varied, but I think, extra cash in pocket was the main reason. And nothing wrong with that!

I hope you have a great first shift
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Old 07-29-2016, 03:53 PM
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Hope all is going well determined
D
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Old 07-29-2016, 03:59 PM
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Let us know how it goes, Determined. We're with you.
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Old 07-29-2016, 04:07 PM
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It's the alcoholic part of you that wants you to screw up, telling you you're a piece of crap.
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Old 07-29-2016, 04:55 PM
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I hope things are going well tonight and good for you for stepping up and working on getting the extra income you need right now.
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Old 07-29-2016, 05:08 PM
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I think you will be fine. Let us know how it went.
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Old 07-29-2016, 06:02 PM
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Good luck! You'll do Great.
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