Plot Twist! I sure know how to pick 'em
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
Plot Twist! I sure know how to pick 'em
You can't make this stuff up. I posted over the weekend about a guy I've been seeing for a while, we got in a big argument about him yelling at his son, and I think I actually wrote that he is not (nor ever was) an addict.
Fool me once...
Some of his behaviors were red flags to me...textbook addictive behaviors...that I thought were just because he grew up in a very dysfunctional home. After I left there on Friday, I saw on fb that his ex was at his place over the weekend. At that point I was FINALLY completely done with him in my heart and in my brain. We did not talk until yesterday, when he called and texted me until I finally responded.
He was verbally abusive and told me he wanted some sleeping pills that I had (my Rx) and that I stole them from him (!!!!). He got more and more belligerent and kept saying cruel things to me. I did not get angry, all I could think was, another addict. Quack quack quack.
It hurts me that I allowed myself to trust someone that did not deserve it. I have a lot of work to do.
Fool me once...
Some of his behaviors were red flags to me...textbook addictive behaviors...that I thought were just because he grew up in a very dysfunctional home. After I left there on Friday, I saw on fb that his ex was at his place over the weekend. At that point I was FINALLY completely done with him in my heart and in my brain. We did not talk until yesterday, when he called and texted me until I finally responded.
He was verbally abusive and told me he wanted some sleeping pills that I had (my Rx) and that I stole them from him (!!!!). He got more and more belligerent and kept saying cruel things to me. I did not get angry, all I could think was, another addict. Quack quack quack.
It hurts me that I allowed myself to trust someone that did not deserve it. I have a lot of work to do.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Good for you for seeing and facing the problem head on. People don't reveal themselves right away while dating. Little things will slip out as you move forward. As I see it, you didn't see an addict right away but it revealed itself to you slowly through dysfunctional behaviors and then an abusive attitude.
I was very cautious when I started dating because I swore that everyone was an addict, lol. A guy could have a cat instead of a dog and I would see that as a red flag. I was on hyper alert but I very quickly realized that I wasn't doing myself any favors because i was still living on the edge and waiting for the other shoe to drop instead of opening my heart to the possibility of a better romantic relationship.
You'll keep learning and growing. Hugs to you!
I was very cautious when I started dating because I swore that everyone was an addict, lol. A guy could have a cat instead of a dog and I would see that as a red flag. I was on hyper alert but I very quickly realized that I wasn't doing myself any favors because i was still living on the edge and waiting for the other shoe to drop instead of opening my heart to the possibility of a better romantic relationship.
You'll keep learning and growing. Hugs to you!
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
Thanks, everyone. I just feel really used and manipulated. This guy was very aware of my history with STBXAH. I feel like I should have known better.
Last night, I blocked him on FB because it was causing me a lot of anxiety and I kept wanting to look. So I blocked him and his ex ( I saw she was posting from there yesterday), and I feel much better about it.
Then at midnight, I get a text from him. All it said was "F*** you". I didn't reply.
True colors always come out I guess.
Last night, I blocked him on FB because it was causing me a lot of anxiety and I kept wanting to look. So I blocked him and his ex ( I saw she was posting from there yesterday), and I feel much better about it.
Then at midnight, I get a text from him. All it said was "F*** you". I didn't reply.
True colors always come out I guess.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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Move forward....we are all going to hit bumps along the way, this was just one. Call a spade a spade and move forward to greener pastures. Each time you are forced to acknowledge these red flags is more education for yourself in the future!
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 384
WOW TimeForMe, that text was really uncalled for...
I've been receiving some of those as well and I feel they are looking for a reaction. It still breaks my heart that these people are so starved for attention that they'll take anything, even negative attention. Probably why I would respond! Hooray compassion?
Good for you for blocking them on social media. Sounds like you are making all the right choices and taking care of you first
I've been receiving some of those as well and I feel they are looking for a reaction. It still breaks my heart that these people are so starved for attention that they'll take anything, even negative attention. Probably why I would respond! Hooray compassion?
Good for you for blocking them on social media. Sounds like you are making all the right choices and taking care of you first
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Yep, Expanding, those kind of texts are sad. I'm sure he was looking for me to engage. Just more quack quack quacking to ignore.
The older I get, the more complicated life gets. Shouldn't it get easier at some point, in even some small way?
The older I get, the more complicated life gets. Shouldn't it get easier at some point, in even some small way?
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
Firebolt -
I considered blocking him from my phone but right now, I think I would rather know if I need to worry about him trying to find me if he can't get a hold of me. I don't think he'd do that but obviously I didn't know a lot about him.
He texted and called today saying there was an emergency. Of course I didn't call (QUACK QUACK) but I texted and now he wants to meet for coffee. NO THANKS!! Nothing like a coffee emergency.
I considered blocking him from my phone but right now, I think I would rather know if I need to worry about him trying to find me if he can't get a hold of me. I don't think he'd do that but obviously I didn't know a lot about him.
He texted and called today saying there was an emergency. Of course I didn't call (QUACK QUACK) but I texted and now he wants to meet for coffee. NO THANKS!! Nothing like a coffee emergency.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Haha - I won't even wave to XABF in traffic...Not even a smile ....because I think that will make him feel like a door is open to contact me.
They say in here "give them a hand and they'll take an arm." Yep - every time.
Good for you, your resolve is inspiring!
They say in here "give them a hand and they'll take an arm." Yep - every time.
Good for you, your resolve is inspiring!
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