Flossyteacake

Hi all,

I'm re-posting a question I put in my class thread (May 2016) yesterday, as I thought it might be an idea to get some responses from people who've got some good sober-time under their belt:

I have been spending time thinking about whether I spend too much time thinking about alcohol. Well, alcoholism, I suppose. 'Cause I'm a bit over-analytical that way. Is it okay to think about it all often? Am I just being vigilant and ensuring I'm working on recovery? Or is it concerning? Should I be thinking about alcohol less by this point? (Just to clarify, I'm not craving, just thinking about the nature of this beast.) Anyone have any thoughts?

I hope the question makes sense. All insights gratefully received.

Dee74

Hi Flossy

I thought about drinking all the time,. so for a while I thought about recovery all the time too.

Then I got better...

You will too. Try not to overthink things.

Generally we're all where we need to be

Fly N Buy

Other than thinking about the problem what action are you taking daily to support the solution?? That was a question directed at me early in sobriety.

Grat's on pushing two months sober - that's terrific!

Hevyn

Hi Flossy. I think it's perfectly normal to obsess a bit in the early days. When I quit I thought about not drinking all the time. I wish I'd kept a journal & could tell you when - but one day I realized, 'Hey, I didn't think about not drinking once today!' It definitely became less & less. At 8+ yrs. sober, I rarely think of alcohol. I never dreamed that would happen.

You're doing great.

Winslow

Glad you posted this Flossy,I'm at 3 months and I'm concerned about thinking about not drinking all of the time,glad to know it's common, thanks

Soberwolf

What D said

Flossyteacake

Dee, Hevyn, SW - thank you for the reassurance. I do overthink. I desperately want to be doing this right, so it's good to know I'm on track.

Winslow - glad to hear it's not just me!

FnB - I'm making changes, I think. I've taken up some old hobbies (reading and sewing) and I'm also looking into new ones (canoeing). I've started posting in the bedtime gratitude thread, which I'm finding helps with a sense of perspective. I've also found a SMART recovering meeting, which is about 30 minutes from me and I'm working up the courage to go to that. I've also got a plan. And I'm reading here daily, as well as trying to be active in the May thread. I'm one of those people who read more than post, though. So, I hope, I'm making changes. Still baby changes, but I'm working on it.

LadyBlue0527

Hi Flossy, congrats on 2 months!

I can't reiterate enough what you're reading in this thread.

Keep doing what you're doing and it just keeps getting better!

Gottalife

"Ask him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the alcoholic who is still sick"

"Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depend upon constant thought of how we can help others (alcoholics)"

"We don't make a vocation of this work"

So with balance in mind, a modest but steady effort at working with others, like attending a home group each week, and sponsoring one or two newcomers is, in my experience, a recipe for permanent recovery.

Constant and morbid self examination on the otherhand is a recipe for disaster.

Berrybean

I think it very much depends which way you're looking. Are you dwelling on the problem (alcohol, the past, etc.), or are yiu looking at the solution.

I liked ananolgy I once read on here. Recovery is like driving. We have to glance in the rear view mirror occasionally. But it only needs to be a quick look. Our main focus needs to be on the road ahead.

I think about sobriety and work on my recovery daily and go to meetings between 2 and 5 times each week. Yes, it takes a little time, but the benefits I reap from it are immense. I previously gave much more time, money and myself to alcohol and reaped the equivalent amount of misery. In the start of recovery it did feel like i was overthinking things, and I probably was, just while the new habits and ways of thinking, and dealing with things was established. Again, just like driving. When you first start driving its exhausting. Having to think about every gear change and every manoeuvre, how the mirrors work and what we're looking at, which is the gas pedal and which is the brake. But of course, with time and practice a lot of these things become second nature to us and we can do it on autopilot, using some remote part of our brain that we're not even aware of a lot of the time. I promise, sobriety and using the tools you aquire won't stay as exhausting as this for too long.

I believe that we get out of sobriety what we put into it, as long as we're solution focussed.

Flossyteacake

BB - thank you for that analogy; very helpful. Yes, I feel that I am being very much forward-focused and thinking about the solution, rather than looking backwards and thinking about the problem or regretting things. I do feel like I am developing new habits. And, thanks to lots of reading here, I am challenging old ways of thinking and developing new ways. (For example, challenging ideas about rewarding myself. I cleaned our bedroom blinds the other day and realised I'd recognised that the reward was just having clean blinds - no wine or chocolate earned nor deserved. This is a big change of thinking for me.)

I don't think that this feels like morbid and constant self-examination, Gottalife. More like wanting some reassurance that this is something others have experienced. And it seems that it is. I guess some introspection is to be expected, given the changes we're trying to make.

Thanks again for all your insights.

FormerWineGirl

At 22 months, I think about it a LOT. Not in an "I want a drink" kind of way, more about recovery and the ramifications of alcoholism, I suppose. When I was an active alcoholic, I thought about it all of the time in a destructive way. Now, it's about NOT drinking, so it's in a constructive way. Unless your thought process is bothering you, I wouldn't worry about it, as long as you are focused on sobriety. Some of us just ponder things more than others.

Soberpotamus

Dee said it perfectly. That's how it happened for me, as well. At first, I spent most of my time reading, posting, thinking, attending some classes and meetings... a large percentage of my day was recovery. And that's ok, because, before that, large chunks of my time were spent drinking. It worked well for me to focus intently on my recovery for at least 3-6 months. After that point, it was much better and I began to focus outward on other things and people.

Also, congrats to you on such a profound insight while cleaning the blinds. The thing itself is the reward.

courage2

I thought about not drinking constantly for a long time. The determination not to drink was the #1 goal of my life, and because it was hard, I had to concentrate on it hard. With habits and a mindset strengthened by continuous sobriety, I don't have to concentrate as hard anymore. But every day, I still remind myself of those things that are non-negotiable for me, because I'm an alcoholic.

MelindaFlowers

I thought about drinking/not drinking all the time the first month. All day. But I was sober.

I'd say it went down 50% after three months and it was down by 95% after a year.

Once been sober two years. I no longer think about drinking/not drinking. I do think of sobriety often. It's why I'm still here!