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George Best and all the rest

Old 07-23-2016, 07:09 AM
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George Best and all the rest

I can't get sober, I keep trying but all that happens is my intake increases each time. I now feel insecure if I have less than a litre of vodka in the house!
I am wondering if some people just are beyond help, George Best could afford the very best kind of help offered but still sadly died of the disease to name but a few.
Sometimes I think some of you think it just takes going to AA and making a plan.
I am sinking fast and all alone...
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Old 07-23-2016, 07:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Kaily View Post
I can't get sober, I keep trying but all that happens is my intake increases each time. I now feel insecure if I have less than a litre of vodka in the house!
I am wondering if some people just are beyond help, George Best could afford the very best kind of help offered but still sadly died of the disease to name but a few.
Sometimes I think some of you think it just takes going to AA and making a plan.
I am sinking fast and all alone...

If I didn't think my drinking was a problem or that I could go on without all the negative repercussions. I wouldn't have stopped. I had been thinking about AA for years but never went.

I just couldn't fathom my life without some kind of crutch. When I needed a drink I needed it now. Always had a bottle at home. Always enough to drink what I needed.

But when all is said and done you have to want to stop. That was me. I'd had enough.

Alcohol just wasn't working anymore.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. An old AA cliché to be sure but one I can totally relate with.
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Old 07-23-2016, 07:38 AM
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I am definitely sick and tired and have tried many avenues but still losing the battle.
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Old 07-23-2016, 07:43 AM
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Kaily - that is simply not true. Many of use AA as just ONE part of what we do. For many (and I just saw a report about this) AA is not enough when just done on it's own (not putting it down, please no one take offense).
Having a plan helps - but for many, that plan includes a lot of things not just AA. Some are lucky enough that just being on this board seems to do it.
But I am going to speak for myself (and anyone like me).
I go to AA and have a sponsor - let me be clear about that. It helps. But the truth was that I have more issues than just drinking - drinking was covering some other issues that I knew to be true from earlier in life. Sobriety for me was ending that drunken phase and suddenly returning to the old issues.
Because of the return of the old stuff, I had a choice - drink to cover them again, or see my doctor and be honest.
I now have a counsellor that I see for dual diagnosis. I also see a psycholgoist (after starting with a psychiatrist who gave a diagnosis and medicine regime). To be clear, I am not medicated for drinking, I am medicated for a condition that I finally faced and allowed myself to be diagnosed. I ran from any form of diagnosis for decades.
So yes AA is in there. But truthfully if it was just AA for me I'd be drinking by now. It's just one tool in the chest.
It started with brutal honesty with myself.
It took me over a year of sobriety to realize that I needed way more help. I've only been being treated for a few months, but I can tell you it's getting better.
You can do this - but I think perhaps a deeper soul searching of what the things that would help you would be are in order. I'm by no means suggesting that your issues are my issues. What I'm saying is, just not drinking and going to AA was not enough to clean my house, and for many here it's not enough to clean their house.
What I see when I come on here is
1- people use SR alone
2-people using SR and AA
3-people using outpatient rehab and SR
4-people using outpatient rehab, AA, and SR
5-people using another method than AA and SR
6-people who are inpatient (AA may or may not be part of their time)
7-people in sober living
8-people using SR and addictions counsellors with or without AA
the list goes on. There is a huge variety here.
It's easy to talk yourself out of this by lumping us all together, but the truth is that we all are using whatever we can that will work for us.
I hope that gives you a little hope - that perhaps there's something you are missing.
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Old 07-23-2016, 07:45 AM
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Kaily, I know it has been mentioned before, but why not rehab? You say there is a wait and I don't doubt it, but can you at least get yourself on the list. The worst that can happen is that you keep on drinking until a space frees up in rehab- but then you go. Then you get help. Not even getting on the list means you will never go. I can completely relate to feeling like nothing works. I was there too. The only thing that worked for me was rehab.
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Old 07-23-2016, 07:53 AM
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Thanks Irnldy001. Yes I have many issues, I am awaiting analytic cbt but I can only have it if I am sober...!
Drinking makes each day manageable as much as unmanageable..
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Old 07-23-2016, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Meraviglioso View Post
Kaily, I know it has been mentioned before, but why not rehab? You say there is a wait and I don't doubt it, but can you at least get yourself on the list. The worst that can happen is that you keep on drinking until a space frees up in rehab- but then you go. Then you get help. Not even getting on the list means you will never go. I can completely relate to feeling like nothing works. I was there too. The only thing that worked for me was rehab.
Thanks. I live alone and can't leave my house or dogs for months whilst in rehab, wish I could.
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:00 AM
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Kaily, I think that the method of recovery you choose is not as important as your motivation and willingness to stop drinking and recovery.
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:05 AM
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Desperate times call for desperate measure...meaning those dogs may have to find a caregiver for some time while you get help. If you cannot do this one your own, I think professional help may be your only option.

We just found out yesterday that my wife's previous boss died last week from alcohol, he was 46. He was an extremely successful attorney in California. No one is immune. Wish you the best.
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:08 AM
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Anna hit the nail on the head. No recovery method or combination of methods is magical. Nothing or no one will get you clean and sober except yourself. We can help, but you have to put in the footwork. I see far too many people coming to recovery and expect other people to get them clean. It just doesn't work that way. AA and other recovery methods work only when you apply them.
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Kaily View Post
Thanks. I live alone and can't leave my house or dogs for months whilst in rehab, wish I could.
If you keep doing what you are doing now, you won't be able to take care of your house or your dog at some point anyway.

Your posts are filled with reasons you cannot or will not stop drinking, and you are not alone in that respect. Many of us were there at one point too, so you are really no differrent than us. Sometimes addiction makes one feel that they have problems other don't have, making sobriety impossible - but it's just a lie in your head. Anyone can quit drinking if they really want to...do you really want to?
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Kaily View Post
Thanks. I live alone and can't leave my house or dogs for months whilst in rehab, wish I could.
Believe it or not, you can. I didn't think I could either. I really didn't. I have two kids, I have a lot of random jobs that I didn't know how to take care of while away, I have a house where I am the only adult. My garden, who would cut the grass? What if there was a break-in? Why do I tell my clients? Who will pick up the kids from school? Wont they suffer with me away? Just a million things running through my head and a million reasons why I couldn't. But I could. I just started putting it together.

You have mentioned before that you are really and truly alone- you have no family, no friends, no one you can count on. I don't doubt you. It happens. But you can kennel your dog. You can also hire someone to come check on your house. Or there is a great site, I'll look it up for you but it'll take me a bit of research because I saw it on an expat site I'm part of, about housesitting. In the group I am a part of a number of people have used it and have been very pleased. Apparently there is a strict line of checks on anyone signing up so it is not just some random crazy coming into your house. The people who have used it have done so because they have animals they don't want to kennel and also don't want to leave their house unattended for an extended period of time.
I want to reach out and give you a hug so bad. I want you to know how entirely possible it is to go get help. Believe me, from the bottom of my heart I understand you. I didn't think it was possible either, but then.... it actually was and is the best thing I have ever done.

Here you go, I found it easily. This site comes highly recommended by a number of people I "know" through this expat group https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/gb/
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Old 07-23-2016, 08:20 AM
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For me, it was the desire to live that made a difference this time. I incorporate SR, AA, my doctor as I take antidepressants/antianxiety medications, and massage therapy .

I hope you don't ever give up.
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Old 07-23-2016, 09:35 AM
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Kaily when you stop choosing to drink and start choosing to stay sober that's when all this will stop the truth is no one is holding a gun to your head you know what your doing & you know how to stop because it litrelly is just stopping, once you can do that you can begin to really work on yourself

I would rather be honest to you my friend than sugarcoat it your choosing to live this way stop choosing to drink all the time btw your right some people never make it but don't add to them stats don't let your life be defined by alcohol

I can't make you sober but you can Kaily it's your choice it's always been your choice

Choose life & sobriety Kaily or choose to keep walking down the same dead end road you keep walking down

Your choice
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Old 07-23-2016, 09:54 AM
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Most of us here felt our situation was hopeless. In desperation we reached out for all the help out there. And there is a lot. But still, firstly we had to take that step ourselves. You can do it. You have to really want to.
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Old 07-23-2016, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Kaily View Post
Thanks Irnldy001. Yes I have many issues, I am awaiting analytic cbt but I can only have it if I am sober...!
Drinking makes each day manageable as much as unmanageable..

Well, if ever there was a 'goal' I could put out there, it usually worked. you need to go into a clinic sober. Ok, I get that. Make the apt, and stay sober before it. That's all. If you are sick of this, and if you really want it, you know what you have to do. You are talking to a group of people who've already made every excuse in the book, lied to others and ourselves. We know. If you are still reasoning with yourself, still finding the way to the drink each day, then perhaps you haven't reached that crucial point - which for me was it's just too painful to continue drinking. I want sobriety more than I want to be drunk. Now I want to be healthy more than anything, and I am working and slogging down that path. If stopping were easy there would be no counsellors, no inpatient, no AA, no thousands of books, nothing. People would just stop. You're addicted, you can't stop. you need help. When you are ready, help of many colours is out there for anyone who wants it. But the onus is always on the addict - do you want it?
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Old 07-23-2016, 11:03 AM
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You can get sober, you just haven't yet. When you want to be sober more than you want to drink, then you'll be able to stay sober.
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Old 07-23-2016, 11:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Irnldy001 View Post
Well, if ever there was a 'goal' I could put out there, it usually worked. you need to go into a clinic sober. Ok, I get that. Make the apt, and stay sober before it. That's all. If you are sick of this, and if you really want it, you know what you have to do. You are talking to a group of people who've already made every excuse in the book, lied to others and ourselves. We know. If you are still reasoning with yourself, still finding the way to the drink each day, then perhaps you haven't reached that crucial point - which for me was it's just too painful to continue drinking. I want sobriety more than I want to be drunk. Now I want to be healthy more than anything, and I am working and slogging down that path. If stopping were easy there would be no counsellors, no inpatient, no AA, no thousands of books, nothing. People would just stop. You're addicted, you can't stop. you need help. When you are ready, help of many colours is out there for anyone who wants it. But the onus is always on the addict - do you want it?
I think you misunderstood or I didn't explain very well, I need to be in recovery, not drinking at all.
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Old 07-23-2016, 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
If you keep doing what you are doing now, you won't be able to take care of your house or your dog at some point anyway.
^^^^ This is what I was trying to say, but Scott nailed it. Think about it Kaily.
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Old 07-23-2016, 12:02 PM
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Hi Kaily. Just to add to the good stuff already mentioned - I drank 30 yrs. I now have over 8 yrs. sober. I think AA is a wonderful thing for many, but I haven't gone on a regular basis. Please never give up on yourself & the hope of getting free. There's no doubt you can do it.
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