First Day Of My New Beginning
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: NorthEast, USA
Posts: 3
First Day Of My New Beginning
Hi Everyone. I wanted to make my first post to this group. It is 8:30 pm on a Friday night. Tonight is honestly the first night in months that I haven't been drunk at this time.
I'm not sure what made today more unique than any other day I wished I could stop drinking but today I have finally had enough. I want to be healthy, feel good, and feel that passion for life that I once had. For a very long time alcohol has given me that feeling of happiness and relaxes me by quieting my obsessive thoughts and worries. However the big problem with alcohol is that it is SO temporary. It feels so good for maybe an hour and then after a while it wears off and in an absolute desperate state of mind you drink more so that you can keep the buzz. But that's the thing right there...it doesn't maintain the buzz. After you have had a few too many you are drunk, emotional, and it's almost like something bigger takes over you. You don't want to keep drinking but you feel like you have too. You do things you would never do sober. You wake up the next morning with
horrific self despair and hatred. You yell at yourself for doing it once again...for self medicating yourself with alcohol too much. I'm not sure which is worse...the self hatred or the physical symptoms of being hungover.
So today I have finally decided to make a change. At any moment you can turn things around...and I have decided I am ready to end this self destructive chapter of my life.
That being said...can I ask for some advice from others? Does anyone have any tips for what to do when you feel a strong urge to drink? For example tonight my head kept saying that it's "ok" to have just one drink but the problem is that it is never just one drink. If any one has any tips or advice on what they do to avoid the cravings please let me know. I would so appreciate it.
Thanks everyone!
-Jenn
I'm not sure what made today more unique than any other day I wished I could stop drinking but today I have finally had enough. I want to be healthy, feel good, and feel that passion for life that I once had. For a very long time alcohol has given me that feeling of happiness and relaxes me by quieting my obsessive thoughts and worries. However the big problem with alcohol is that it is SO temporary. It feels so good for maybe an hour and then after a while it wears off and in an absolute desperate state of mind you drink more so that you can keep the buzz. But that's the thing right there...it doesn't maintain the buzz. After you have had a few too many you are drunk, emotional, and it's almost like something bigger takes over you. You don't want to keep drinking but you feel like you have too. You do things you would never do sober. You wake up the next morning with
horrific self despair and hatred. You yell at yourself for doing it once again...for self medicating yourself with alcohol too much. I'm not sure which is worse...the self hatred or the physical symptoms of being hungover. So today I have finally decided to make a change. At any moment you can turn things around...and I have decided I am ready to end this self destructive chapter of my life.
That being said...can I ask for some advice from others? Does anyone have any tips for what to do when you feel a strong urge to drink? For example tonight my head kept saying that it's "ok" to have just one drink but the problem is that it is never just one drink. If any one has any tips or advice on what they do to avoid the cravings please let me know. I would so appreciate it.
Thanks everyone!
-Jenn
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Urge Surfing: A Mindful Approach to Overcoming Addictive Behaviors
Sometimes I'd say something in my mind like, "Maybe tomorrow I'll entertain that thought of drinking, but today, I will choose not to drink as I haven't been sober in ages!" (I drank for many years....over 35....)
Find something to do, make a list of things to accomplish then write how to achieve those goals...
You CAN stay stopped, too!
Sometimes I'd say something in my mind like, "Maybe tomorrow I'll entertain that thought of drinking, but today, I will choose not to drink as I haven't been sober in ages!" (I drank for many years....over 35....)
Find something to do, make a list of things to accomplish then write how to achieve those goals...
You CAN stay stopped, too!
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
Hello and welcome. Glad you're here. Try to stay busy during your normal hours of drinking. Post here, read a lot here, if the urge really hits.... Go for a walk or take yourself somewhere that you can't get a drink. Like the ice cream shop! Also, try to spend time in places in your home that don't and didn't normally drink in. Wishing you lots of patience and strength tonight on your new journey.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,632
Welcome PatsFan -
Congrats on deciding to make sobriety your priority.
Urge surfing is an excellent skill. In the beginning I could only really manage it by taking it 'one day at a time' and just not drink today.
Changing my routine helped a lot to avoid many of the urges.
EX: I was only a night drinker, so I shifted my sleeping schedule to go to bed early (normally about the time that I would start drinking) and get up really early instead.
Other folks go to the gym or to a meeting during their drinking times.
Let us know how you do tonight.
Congrats on deciding to make sobriety your priority.
Urge surfing is an excellent skill. In the beginning I could only really manage it by taking it 'one day at a time' and just not drink today.
Changing my routine helped a lot to avoid many of the urges.
EX: I was only a night drinker, so I shifted my sleeping schedule to go to bed early (normally about the time that I would start drinking) and get up really early instead.
Other folks go to the gym or to a meeting during their drinking times.
Let us know how you do tonight.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi. Glad you found us.
I would suggest making a plan, keeping an open mod, and trying what other people who seem to have a good, solid, happy and healthy sobriety say that they do to sustain this.
This is a link to a thread that Dee (a particularly wise and helpful member of this forum) posted about making a plan. There are some great links and bits of info on it.... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html
And well done for remembering that it's the first drink that causes the problems.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery.
I would suggest making a plan, keeping an open mod, and trying what other people who seem to have a good, solid, happy and healthy sobriety say that they do to sustain this.
This is a link to a thread that Dee (a particularly wise and helpful member of this forum) posted about making a plan. There are some great links and bits of info on it.... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html
And well done for remembering that it's the first drink that causes the problems.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 258
I agree with all the previous posters, I've done all of it. For me, I was a very habitual time of the day drinker, so I have taken my old drunk time and replaced it with book and tea time. I found a relaxing herbal tea that I love, making the tea is kind of ritualistic, has to be in my favorite mug, with my favorite honey. Then I take it to my room where I close the door and crack a book. I have this list of books I want to read, so I'm just rolling through them.
So find something like that you might want to learn, something you can focus on, another example was when I quit smoking for the last time, I was also working on getting pregnant so I learned how to knit baby blankets. You can do this.
So find something like that you might want to learn, something you can focus on, another example was when I quit smoking for the last time, I was also working on getting pregnant so I learned how to knit baby blankets. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,031
Welcome PatsFan!
Coming to the realization that you really want to stop is a great start. It took me a few years of alternating between periods of sobriety and attempts at moderation. Then on NYE I felt the way you do now, I knew I was really ready to be done, and haven't had any alcohol in almost seven months.
Many of the above posts have great suggestions, and definitely check out Dee's link. Like a few above I made a plan for the times I would normally drink which was in the evenings. I went to the gym, for walks, bubble bath with a good book, planned activities with my kids, watched a few Netflix series, and in the beginning found I was heading up to bed earlier. I also found a few replacement drinks I enjoyed: Sleepy Time tea, Arizona Zero Green Tea, and lots of Ice water. I also spent a lot of time reading and posting on SR since that was what I chose to use as my primary supporrt. In the past when I tried to quit I attended different meetings and groups, and that seemed to work well for many people, it just didn't seem to be the right path for me. I also joined the January class, and found an incredibly supportive group who like me were trying to stop drinking at the time. Having people in the same stage of recovery really helps.
There are many journeys to recovery. Spend some time reading and posting on here to determine a plan that works best for you.
I am an avid reader, if you enjoy reading there is a link when you first log in that has a list of recovery books, I have read many of them.
You can do this, and I promise you it is worth it!!!
Looking forward to seeing you on here!
Coming to the realization that you really want to stop is a great start. It took me a few years of alternating between periods of sobriety and attempts at moderation. Then on NYE I felt the way you do now, I knew I was really ready to be done, and haven't had any alcohol in almost seven months.
Many of the above posts have great suggestions, and definitely check out Dee's link. Like a few above I made a plan for the times I would normally drink which was in the evenings. I went to the gym, for walks, bubble bath with a good book, planned activities with my kids, watched a few Netflix series, and in the beginning found I was heading up to bed earlier. I also found a few replacement drinks I enjoyed: Sleepy Time tea, Arizona Zero Green Tea, and lots of Ice water. I also spent a lot of time reading and posting on SR since that was what I chose to use as my primary supporrt. In the past when I tried to quit I attended different meetings and groups, and that seemed to work well for many people, it just didn't seem to be the right path for me. I also joined the January class, and found an incredibly supportive group who like me were trying to stop drinking at the time. Having people in the same stage of recovery really helps.
There are many journeys to recovery. Spend some time reading and posting on here to determine a plan that works best for you.
I am an avid reader, if you enjoy reading there is a link when you first log in that has a list of recovery books, I have read many of them.
You can do this, and I promise you it is worth it!!!
Looking forward to seeing you on here!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome to the SR family PatsFan.
You will find a lot of helpful advice from the good people here. I know I have.
Read through the Forums. Make a plan. Stay close to SR, especially in the first few weeks. Post when you are struggling.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
You will find a lot of helpful advice from the good people here. I know I have.
Read through the Forums. Make a plan. Stay close to SR, especially in the first few weeks. Post when you are struggling.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
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