My MO...
My MO...
So my MO seems to be dishonesty...
I've been in recovery before, and continue to try...I've never stopped going to meetings or working with a sponsor and talking to newcomers...
But the harsh truth is my MO is to be dishonest about what's really going on...and that's that I've been using, without telling anyone, until two days ago that is.
I have so many blessings in my life that I don't deserve, yet I am still graced with, despite my flaws. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be stressed. I just want to be happy and content.
Unfortunately, the diseased part of my brain thinks that can happen while under the influence of intoxicants. It wants the quick fix...I know it doesn't work long-term, yet I fell victim to the delusion that it will.
I am definitely "Jim" from the Big Book that thinks placing his whiskey in milk will somehow change the outcome that he's putting booze in his body.
Super crazy...baffling indeed...Pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization sums it up.
BUT, that's the past...I can't change it. I'm on day 4 and I've gotten honest. I just hope and pray that I can continue to be honest. That's all I want.
I know serenity is just around the corner, so long as I do the right things. I just so badly want to get there again.
Thanks for listening.
I've been in recovery before, and continue to try...I've never stopped going to meetings or working with a sponsor and talking to newcomers...
But the harsh truth is my MO is to be dishonest about what's really going on...and that's that I've been using, without telling anyone, until two days ago that is.
I have so many blessings in my life that I don't deserve, yet I am still graced with, despite my flaws. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be stressed. I just want to be happy and content.
Unfortunately, the diseased part of my brain thinks that can happen while under the influence of intoxicants. It wants the quick fix...I know it doesn't work long-term, yet I fell victim to the delusion that it will.
I am definitely "Jim" from the Big Book that thinks placing his whiskey in milk will somehow change the outcome that he's putting booze in his body.
Super crazy...baffling indeed...Pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization sums it up.
BUT, that's the past...I can't change it. I'm on day 4 and I've gotten honest. I just hope and pray that I can continue to be honest. That's all I want.
I know serenity is just around the corner, so long as I do the right things. I just so badly want to get there again.
Thanks for listening.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Fernaceman!
I am not sure (well, I have no idea) what is MO, but glad you are back.
Seeing you posting stirred so many memories in me - I remember you from my early recovery days. Feels like it's been ages ago.
You are honest now. Often It takes time to face the naked truth.
We are here for support!
I am not sure (well, I have no idea) what is MO, but glad you are back.
Seeing you posting stirred so many memories in me - I remember you from my early recovery days. Feels like it's been ages ago.
You are honest now. Often It takes time to face the naked truth.
We are here for support!
Good to see you here! Being honest with yourself is the first step, I lived a lie inside my head for too long. Being honest and admitting I had a problem just felt like such a weakness. I decided it was just a label and labels destroy your sense of self. But they don't, they just give you something to work with. My son is labelled with 'global developmental delay' which just means he now has access to all these services and supports designed to help with his issues. I fought against that label for my boy at first, but then I realised I was holding him back from the help he needed. Alcoholics are no different in that regard.
MO means 'modus operandi' which means the particular way you do things, your method etc
MO means 'modus operandi' which means the particular way you do things, your method etc
Fernaceman......so awesome to see you! Totally remember your previous posts when I first joined SR. I've been also thinking a lot about honesty. As part of the whole Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness "thing".
I've recently started attending AA meetings as I'm thinking I need the fellowship to be a component of my recovery. I think as we walk the recovery path, we learn what we need to do and need not do. Glad you have had an awakening.
I've recently started attending AA meetings as I'm thinking I need the fellowship to be a component of my recovery. I think as we walk the recovery path, we learn what we need to do and need not do. Glad you have had an awakening.
Welcome back Fernaceman!!! You were one of my inspirations when I first joined SR. I came back January 1st after many failed attempts at moderation and brief periods of sobriety.
I'm looking forward to seeing you on here again!
❤️ Delilah
I'm looking forward to seeing you on here again!
❤️ Delilah
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