Phoenix47

Hello. 35yo alcoholic man here. I've finally decided that I need help. I've been struggling with drinking for over 5 years now. I quit for a few months over a year ago. But went right back to it. I used to drink a fifth every night. But I have slowed down a lot. My problem is I can't just have a few. Once I hit a Brattain point my ability to say"I don't need another one" shuts off. I have a tendency to do stupid things when I'm drunk. Things that hurt the people I love. I think I have a little bit of a sex addiction also, that only comes out when I've been drinking.

So I quit drinking a week ago. I was doing great until I had a really bad day at work. I thought it would be OK to just have a couple. But it never works out that way. So here I am. Laying it all out to the Internet. My wife hates me, I may have lost her, and I'm scared to death of that. I've finally come to terms that I need help. I'm just not sure where to start. My wife and I have seen a counsellor a few times. I may call him tomorrow. What other options do I have?

Hevyn

Hi Phoenix - great to have you join us.

I could never just have a few either. Once the first drink was in my system all my determination went out the window. My 'one' always ended up with me being drunk and stupid. I did reckless things too - it turned me into someone I didn't even recognize. It's good to be free. You can do it. I think seeing the counselor is a good start - and your doctor maybe?

REsoberALITY

Hello and Welcome. I hope this time, you'll decide to quit drinking for good.... Ignore that little voice that tells you "it might be ok." It sounds like you know it won't be. Try to focus on staying sober and mend what you can along the way. Best wishes.. You CAN do THIS!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Phoenix

I had no off switch either. It was never 'a couple' for me, unless I meant a couple of weeks going on a bender

Coming here is a great start - and a good counsellor with a background in addiction may really help you, as it's helped others here.

You can also see your GP for advice

There's a whole lot of meeting based recovery groups too, including AA but there are many others besides:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I'm glad you've found us - read and post as much as you need to

D

Phoenix47

Thank you for the encouragement. The most important thing is saving my marriage. My wife is a good woman and she has given me so many chances to get it together. I'm afraid I've used them all up. I know quoting drinking is the first step to saving my marriage. But I'm not sure if she will stick around to see me do it

madgirl

For me, I had to reach the point where I wanted sobriety for myself.

Saying "I'm not sure she'll stick around" to witness your recovery is a sneaky way your addiction is trying to keep itself alive - in other words, if your primary motivator is keeping your wife, and you feel you may have already lost her, than there's no reason to choose sobriety - and that means your addiction wins.

Phoenix47

I never thought of it that way. But it makes sense. I've spent so much time trying to rationalize my addiction. I do want this for myself. I want to learn how to enjoy life without having a buzz. But I also want to keep my wife. She is so much more than I have ever deserved

Phoenix47

I never thought of it that way. But it makes sense. I've spent so much time trying to rationalize my addiction. I do want this for myself. I want to learn how to enjoy life without having a buzz. But I also want to keep my wife. She is so much more than I have ever deserved

madgirl

I didn't feel that good about myself either as an active alcoholic - and still wrestle with low self esteem over some really bad choices I made in my past.

Who is the person you feel "deserves" your wife? What is that person like?

soberlicious

I wanted to keep my kids and be a truly good mother, and fix what I had broken. That's what kept me going and still does. What happened along the way though, is that I found a new me. I hope that your decision to quit will help you salvage things with your wife, but if not...I hope that you persevere and find the peace and happiness that being free from addiction brings.

Phoenix47

Several people, including my wife have told me that I turn into a different person when I'm drinking. I believe them. My wife is great. She isn't perfect but she always has my back and is the most loyal person I know. Her ex was addicted to pills so she has been there, and recognizes the cycle. I think she deserves someone as loyal and giving as she is. When I'm sober I feel that I'm that person. But when I get ********* in someone else

least

You've made the first step to solving the problem by admitting there is a problem. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. Living sober really rocks!

On The Road

Phoenix - I was at the end of my rope with my wife, too. And I wanted an instant fix. But what I learned (through counseling) was that I needed to work on myself and my sobriety - which takes time. I spent years driving her crazy with my behavior and she was right to be angry with me. So I decided to work on myself. When she saw how committed I was to sobriety, our relationship started changing for the better.

D122y

Phoe,

What I do when I crave is say to myself...you are an addict...of course you crave.

I am a drug addict. A drug addict.

It has a harsher, more real, definable, cutting feel. It has helped me keep the craves from becoming slips.

Thanks for the post.