AdelineRose

When I was an active addict I always thought that if I could just stop using heroin then my life would be perfect and that would be that. In the past I could detox and then just move on with my life and then I never understood why I always went back to using. It happened so many times that I truly started to believe that a) I can always start tomorrow, I am young! b) Maybe I just can't experience life sober now that I know how "amazing" it can be on heroin, to c) I don't want to quit anyway so it doesn't matter.

This time around, life had gotten so chaotic and the consequences from being a heroin addict had gotten so extreme that I literally felt like this was my last chance to save myself and therefore I finally decided that just not using was not going to cut it. I started counseling, I got a doctor that specializes in addiction, I got a psychiatrist, I got a full psychological evalutation done and finally got properly diagnosed, I moved, I changed my phone number, I was finally honest with my family about the extent of my addiction, I deleted face book, etc. I changed EVERYTHING about my life and was able to find a strong lasting recovery.

I am almost approaching a year, but I am working on myself harder then I was even when I first got sober. I always used to think once you were sober that was that you move on with your life, instead I have found that there is ALWAYS something to work on and that being open to improving yourself is what makes your recovery strong. I have found that setting daily, weekly, and monthly goals have helped me not get complacent with my recovery. I continue to go to substance abuse counseling regularly since I am never not going to be an addict, so the more support I have the better. Even almost a year later I still always leave my counseling appointments with something to think about, a new goal to work towards, another book to read, etc.

I take each day one at a time but I am planning more and more the future now. I have never made plans and followed through with them, so not procrastinating and being proactive about my life is another step forward.

There is ALWAYS something to improve or work towards. Keep fighting for yourself, you are worth it. The more you work on yourself the farther and farther you move from the person you used to be. We all deserve to be happy, successful, and secure and in order to achieve that, we need to take a honest look at ourselves and at our lives and fill in the holes, change the parts we are unhappy with, and pin point and change the parts that are not healthy for us.

I hope everyone has a good day today ! Every day is a new day and chance to move forward and change something that we are unhappy about in our lives. NEVER give up on yourself, and NEVER stop fighting, you are worth it.

tomsteve

I remember my 1st sponsor telling me, after I told him I didn't want to be what I was who I was any more, that all I had to do was put in as much footwork on me as I did getting my next drink/drug and continue it.

JD

Great post Adeline! It got me thinking.

Soberwolf

thomas11

^^^^^^^This was a revelation that troubled me. Sure, its a lot of work to get and stay sober. But then I thought about how much effort I put into planning my drinking. It was a lot of damn work. For nothing in return.

AdelineRose

It is crazy what lengths I would go to in order to get my fix. I was willing to give up everything I ever had, to screw over anyone I knew, and risk going to jail in order to get drugs yet I expected recovery to be easy?

While it is a lot of work, my recovery is worth each and every bit of work it takes. At least all my hard work and dedication is improving my life instead of destroying it like when I put all my effort towards drugs.

I also think that I appreciate and cherish my recovery more because I have put so much work, energy, sweat, and tears into it. I have fought on my hands and knees for each and every inch of my recovery and I am not willing to start from square one ever again.

Dee74

Thanks for a great post Adeline.

It is a lot of work to get sober and then be happy about it - but it's worthwhile work - the dividends keep paying off

D

LadyBlue0527

Thank you so much for the inspirational post AdelineRose and for helping me.

I've been a bit overwhelmed this week. I'm in AA and on step 4 so doing the writing. I'm also in substance abuse counseling and my counselor is on vacation for 2 weeks so I have a book to read. On top of that I'm volunteering at our local recovery center doing a few different tasks. This week with the heat I've gotten a bit overwhelmed and have somewhat shirked my responsibilities instead of diving in head first.

You've reminded me to simplify it. To set goals instead of thinking of everything all at once.

So happy to hear your story, I love reading posts that show this can be done. It's work but so very well worth it!

Thank you again and congratulations on coming up on 1 year!

AdelineRose

Ladyblue- We all have those days or weeks when all of a sudden everything seems so overwhelming or all consuming. When this happens to me I look back in my journal to see how far I have come and what I have to lose if I give up or start slacking. I also have found that when I am feeling overwhelmed I write each thing that I need to get done and next to it I put a way to move closer to that goal and this way it doesn't seem like a huge abstract list of things to do.

It took me a long time to find my self respect and to start loving myself again. I never want to forget who I am or stop loving myself ever again...nothing is worth losing who you are.

uncorked

Good thoughts. I also thought my life would be perfect if I stopped drinking. When I'd go to a restaurant, I'd envy people who were drinking soda or iced tea. Now I'm one of them. And my life still is far from perfect. But at least I can take on the challenges with a clear mind.