Jillian2563

I wasn't going to post here but was instead going to post to a pregnancy/parental forum, as I thought it related best to my "condition". I realized that I should post here instead. I get the feeling you guys will have a better understanding than the people I don't know at all on a "baby" forum.

I'm scared. I'm 53 days sober. The longest I have been sober since last end of summer. But now, I am also pregnant. I am doing well generally. I don't always feel scared about the new baby. I have been handling it pretty well, even planning the things that will need to be done. Every now and then though, I get scared. I fear having another tiny baby around. Not only do I have that fear, but I now have a fear that I will drink to try to calm myself from that fear. Make sense?

I am starting to feel things again, and that is also scary. The only way I know how to cope with ANYTHING is to drink. But now I can't.

What are some good coping skills when feeling overwhelmed, anxious, fearful, etc.?

JD

I think the best way to cope is realizing what you're feeling is completely normal. Emotions will run from ecstatic to fearful. Just don't drink and you'll be fine.

Determined1977

Scared is a natural feeling. Congrats, on the baby. It sounds like you are keeping it so now you have another reason to be sober. Let yourself feel fear, happiness all emotions and prepare for the little one.

KarenOskie

There's a really good thread on this, I don't think it's in the addiction section, I think it's under 'anxiety disorders'. I don't know that I have an anxiety disorder, but I am having a lot of anxiety right now, so I went and read it and it helped a lot.

blueberry2015

Gosh yes feeling scared is totally natural when pregnant alcoholic or not. My advise to you is keep it in the day. Only concentrate on TODAY and so forth, it really really has helped curbed my anxiety which reduces the need to pick up. When you find yourself in a state of anxiety, ground yourself, place two feet on the floor, slow your breathing, close your eyes listen to what is around you, open look at what is around you, it helps keep you in the present rather than letting your head run off into the future. Your safe, your sober, your healthy. Hope that helps and congratulations x

Jillian2563

Y'all rock. I realize all this is normal to feel, especially newly sober. It's scary at times but not any scarier than the anxiety I experienced during my drinking. I NEVER want to feel that anxiety ever again; I felt like I was going to die when I'd get the "hangover anxiety attacks".

I've been through pregnancy and raising young children before buts it's been 12 years since I had my son (I was 19). I don't remember feeling scared then. But it was a while ago AND I was very young.

JK130

Yes, scared is natural. And you've got the best reason in the world to stay sober! New babies add a ton of exhaustion, and so much love! Congratulations.

Soberwolf

On The Road

Hi Jillian - my guess is that there are a couple of things going on:

1. You're feeling emotions that aren't numbed by alcohol. And believe it or not that's a good thing. The more sobriety time you have , the easier it will be to experience life on its own terms including the good, too!

2. Secondly, I'd hazard a guess that you are feeling things differently due to the change in your body chemistry. Since I'm not a doctor, I'd recommend that you speak candidly to your OB about your alcoholism so the two of you can plan for any mood swings you might have after giving birth.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and sobriety!

Berrybean

Hi. Glad you're posting here. Please, also get some local support to see you through this. There will be meetings in your area whee you can reach out for support and meet other ladies who have been through pregnancy and motherhood as alcoholics (active and in recovery) who will understand what you are going through.

I found this website this morning and found lots of their articles pretty good so I bookmarked it. Might be worth having a read for you as well... Mental Health Archives - Functional Alcoholic Help | Functional Alcoholic Help

Jillian2563

Thank you OnTheRoad and Berrybean. I was seeing a therapist but quit going due to financial reasons but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be going to meetings.

I feel really good this morning. I think it's a combination of getting more sober time and feeling all these things plus not having the morning sickness and tiredness all the time now.

I got my notebook out and started a 1 to 5 year plan for my life and it felt good to jot things down that were in my brain. Also hubby joined in when he came in and realized what I was doing

I know everyday will not be perfect, and that's something that is going to take some work to accept.

On The Road

I'm glad to hear you're thinking about handling the longterm. Kudos to your hubby for helping - I'm sure that's comforting for you!

Jillian2563

I tend to want to do things alone so I can do them MY WAY. My husband and I tend to bump heads when it comes to planning things, even easy things. And it's mostly my fault for being so uptight and getting upset when he goes off topic. But this morning when I told him I was writing down goals, he said "shouldn't we be doing that together?". So we discussed and wrote down a few things, and when he strayed away from the topic, I politely got him back on track instead of being a brat. Everyday I'm learning new things about myself. Things that I'd never know if I continued to get drunk everyday.

uncorked

Jillian, congratulations on both the pregnancy and your new sobriety! Of course it's normal to be nervous. Almost every pregnant woman is. I admire you for staying sober to protect your little one. I remember feeling SO good when I stopped drinking during my last pregnancy. Enjoy the excitement of bringing a new life into the world.