sweetichick

I'm sober but really struggling. Noone seems to understand how hard it is. Sleep seems to evade me. Massive panic attacks. No energy from my bad liver. I've got no support, I need to go to AA but it seems to be full of married men staying sober to keep their wives happy. My mother is on my case about cleaning the house. How can people expect so much so quick? They don't get it, I don't get it. I feel like all this is driving me back to drink, just can't cope. I'm seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow but don't see how ten minutes of talk time is really going to help. I started praying to a higher power which seemed to be working but my mother's strict religious beliefs have ruined all that. I'm a black sheep in a white sheep family. I can't change who I am, its just me.

doggonecarl

Your circumstances aren't driving you to drink, your addiction is. Early recovery is tough and you'd struggle under ideal conditions. You've made the decision to quit, hopefully, knowing it will get better. But only if you stay sober.

sugarbear1

1300 222 222

Call and ask about women only meetings!

August252015

Welcome and glad you're here.

Use SR as a good place if you can't or won't go to meetings - but in person help really is the best thing to have if you can find it, using a place like this as extra reinforcement, IMO. I don't think you can ever have enough support. Perhaps look around for other meetings in your area- AA meetings all have their own "personalities" and hopefully there are more near you.

Lots of us find that it is really important, physically and mentally, to exercise, eat well, stay hydrated and often very important to see our medical doctors (or get one) to look at issues like depression, help for sleep, possible medical issues that happened during our drinking (or just because they happened) but the symptoms or discomfort were comingled with our drinking.

I notice you are in Australia- it seems that lots of people "across the pond" (I'm in Georgia) use tools and programs like SMART, AVRT and such moreso than here in the States. Look up online tools, perhaps. Also check out codependency/Al-Anon threads; family issues abound in alcoholics and you can get help.

You are in early days- all of it WILL get better if you don't drink, from the physical to the mental. Trust all of us when we tell you that.

Good luck!

ZenLifter

Sorry to hear you're struggling so much Sweetichick :/ I know it's not the same as face to face, but we are here for you. As far as the higher power goes, maybe it's time to figure out what YOU believe, apart from your religious upbringing. The Big Book says "God, as we understand him." I do believe that God is too big for any of our narrow religious conceptualizations.

luvmygirls

Hi sweetichick, I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. Early recovery is tough emotionally for sure, even if (as doggonecarl pointed out) your circumstances are "ideal." I can totally relate to your frustration about people expecting too much, too soon. In particular, my husband seemed impatient at the very beginning, like "you quit, so you're all fixed, right?" Please, hang in there and whatever you do, do not drink. We're all here for you.

Hawkeye13

It is really tough but will get better.
The not being able to sleep and the panic attacks will improve fairly quickly
if you are anything like me.
Just hang in there.

If you have to clean, get up early and choose one thing and get it done
while others are sleeping or out of the house later.
No nagging that way.
Dishes, laundry, decluttering, whatever gives you the most bang for the buck.
Don't try for detail cleaning right now.

Be sure to eat quality food and take care of yourself---plenty of water
is important as we are typically dehydrated from long-term drinking.
Keep posting and you'll be surprised how much better you'll feel
in a few weeks.