Big decision!! Opinions would be appreciated.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: London, England
Posts: 123
Big decision!! Opinions would be appreciated.
Just before my addiction to alcohol reached its climax, I was let go from my work to give me time to recover and get myself better/sober as I was really in that dark place we all know to well. My work was one of the main reasons I guess for why I drank so much in the first place,trying to fit my social life and work life into one day which was never going to happen, it was impossible. I would work early starts and late finishes and the stress just got me , my release from all of it was my drinking.
Of course my work wasn't to blame for my addiction to alcohol, only I can make my self reach for that bottle , but as we all know the stress of work life can also play a major part. Anyway fast forward to this Monday and long story short , I got offered my old job back , which is well paid, local to my area and what I'm trained in. But I couldn't help but think of the role it played in my self destruction in the past. Anyway after a long think , I agreed to meet my ex boss and just have a brief talk about it all. I told him my current situation and how I felt accepting the job could effect my recovery. He was understanding and I said I would continue to think about his offer and make a decision by the end of the week.
My heart and gut is telling me to decline the offer as I am still in early days of recovery and still fairly vunerable really. On the other hand it is better money than I am on now, closer to home, I know the job inside out and I know the routine. But over all that I need to put my health first as I don't want to relapse and go through it all again as I would be devastated if that was to happen . But who am I to say that now I'm happy in sobriety , I can't be happy in this job? It's a big decision, I need a few opinions please...
Thanks , James.
Of course my work wasn't to blame for my addiction to alcohol, only I can make my self reach for that bottle , but as we all know the stress of work life can also play a major part. Anyway fast forward to this Monday and long story short , I got offered my old job back , which is well paid, local to my area and what I'm trained in. But I couldn't help but think of the role it played in my self destruction in the past. Anyway after a long think , I agreed to meet my ex boss and just have a brief talk about it all. I told him my current situation and how I felt accepting the job could effect my recovery. He was understanding and I said I would continue to think about his offer and make a decision by the end of the week.
My heart and gut is telling me to decline the offer as I am still in early days of recovery and still fairly vunerable really. On the other hand it is better money than I am on now, closer to home, I know the job inside out and I know the routine. But over all that I need to put my health first as I don't want to relapse and go through it all again as I would be devastated if that was to happen . But who am I to say that now I'm happy in sobriety , I can't be happy in this job? It's a big decision, I need a few opinions please...
Thanks , James.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Are you making enough money right now to take care of your basic needs? Money (after a certain amount) is not really a good factor - all things considered.
Is your current position less stressful?
If you can afford it, I would stay where I am if it is less stressful. Jobs come and go in life.
Is your current position less stressful?
If you can afford it, I would stay where I am if it is less stressful. Jobs come and go in life.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hello James. Congrats on your recovery.
Life, and jobs, are going to have stress. No way of getting around that. Part of your recovery must be handling triggers in a way that does not trigger your addiction. It's a must. I don't know of any jobs that don't involve some stress.
Only you can decide if you would let this trigger you to drink. If you think you would, I would consider declining the offer. Sobriety is 100% your own decision. If you decide you will not relapse, you won't. If you decide this "may" trigger you, it may.
Was it really the job itself, the circumstances of the job that stressed you out, or was it an excuse to drink? I am not being rude or callus here, just trying to help think it out.
Maybe a list of all the positives and negatives of the job and circumstances of how it would relate to your life would help you weigh it effectively.
Good Luck!
Life, and jobs, are going to have stress. No way of getting around that. Part of your recovery must be handling triggers in a way that does not trigger your addiction. It's a must. I don't know of any jobs that don't involve some stress.
Only you can decide if you would let this trigger you to drink. If you think you would, I would consider declining the offer. Sobriety is 100% your own decision. If you decide you will not relapse, you won't. If you decide this "may" trigger you, it may.
Was it really the job itself, the circumstances of the job that stressed you out, or was it an excuse to drink? I am not being rude or callus here, just trying to help think it out.
Maybe a list of all the positives and negatives of the job and circumstances of how it would relate to your life would help you weigh it effectively.
Good Luck!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by James90 
I would work early starts and late finishes and the stress just got me , my release from all of it was my drinking.
How are you equipped to deal with the stress you claim was the reason you drank?
Are you prepared to work normal hours? Go to work, leave at close of business and leave the job at work?
And if you return to your old job, would you quit if it threatened your sobriety?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
This is a tough decision to make, I can see that.
I suppose a key thing to figure out is whether your job was a reason you drank, or an excuse. As you know, our AV's will use any excuse under the sun to justify drinking. Beautiful sunset? That calls for a drink. A rainy day? Might as well stay in and drink. Your team wins? Celebrate with a drink. Your team loses? Drown your sorrows with a drink.
So if that just happened to be the job you had during a time in your life where you were drinking heavily, then it should be possible to go back to it sober and stay that way.
But also factor in the culture there. Is everyone expected to head to the pub after work, or lots of boozy business lunches, or networking events? Those are things you probably don't need to deal with right now.
I think the advice about drawing up a list is a good one. Really try and visualise yourself back in that job and how you'd handle the situations you'd find yourself in. Would your sobriety be at more risk there than where you are now?
But also, leaving alcohol aside, maybe look at the whole work life balance question. Those early starts and late finishes don't leave much time to enjoy life. If you like where you are, and are fine with less money, there's a very strong case for "if it ain't broke...".
I suppose a key thing to figure out is whether your job was a reason you drank, or an excuse. As you know, our AV's will use any excuse under the sun to justify drinking. Beautiful sunset? That calls for a drink. A rainy day? Might as well stay in and drink. Your team wins? Celebrate with a drink. Your team loses? Drown your sorrows with a drink.
So if that just happened to be the job you had during a time in your life where you were drinking heavily, then it should be possible to go back to it sober and stay that way.
But also factor in the culture there. Is everyone expected to head to the pub after work, or lots of boozy business lunches, or networking events? Those are things you probably don't need to deal with right now.
I think the advice about drawing up a list is a good one. Really try and visualise yourself back in that job and how you'd handle the situations you'd find yourself in. Would your sobriety be at more risk there than where you are now?
But also, leaving alcohol aside, maybe look at the whole work life balance question. Those early starts and late finishes don't leave much time to enjoy life. If you like where you are, and are fine with less money, there's a very strong case for "if it ain't broke...".
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: London, England
Posts: 123
Thank you guys, the advice really helped.
I've decided that when your heart and gut are saying no, I think it's best I move on and leave that chapter in my life behind. Things are going fine as they are and it's more than I could of hoped for 6 months ago, so I'm not going to risk ruining it.
I've decided that when your heart and gut are saying no, I think it's best I move on and leave that chapter in my life behind. Things are going fine as they are and it's more than I could of hoped for 6 months ago, so I'm not going to risk ruining it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
James. Good luck in whatever decision you make. If you feel you'd like to get some more face-to-face support in your sobriety, there are lots of meetings in London and we often go out for coffee afterwards to discuss all kinds of things, like the dilemma you mentioned. That would maybe give you the chance to share the story in more depth and get a variety of perspectives on it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I think it depends how steadfast your are in your sobriety. If you draw a big fat line between your old work environment and you drinking, I think you'd be fine. But if that line is thing or blurred, you would be better served to stay where you are.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
James- it sounds like you listened to yourself and were able to make what you truly felt to be the best - healthiest - decision for you right now. Learning (or relearning) to listen to our intuition when it is talking to us is a big deal in recovery.
I can relate and will quickly share my similar story. My last job before I quit drinking was in a restaurant; most of the past six years I was a server or bartender, when I was working at all. I really liked this particular restaurant but I was in the darkest days of my alcoholism, the last six months of last year. I got fired; not for anything related to drinking but the VP who hired me knew something was really wrong and had even brought up some changes in me, overall, as well as noticing the frequency I would drink after my shift, even during the day.
I work now, and make $9/hr. At a great, positive place, and it's been a luxury to have the job- my parents basically support me 75% financially. I prayed, thought, talked to my sponsor and program friends...about asking for my old job back. I had to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons (and not just putting money as the reason), that I had a program/steps in place to help me in a drinking environment, and doing the next right thing, so to speak, in my recovery bc it is the number one priority. But I do have to support myself and make money, and right now this job would be an immediate way to do that much better.
At almost 5 months, I felt my intuition was telling me I was on the right track to ask for my old job. I did, and met with the boss today. It went well and she is going to let me know on Fri if it's a go. I was completely honest with her and answered all her questions.
I think you did the right thing and am just sharing my story so that as you go along, you know that you aren't alone with the job/life/sobriety thing - and that you will get stronger and keep trusting yourself as it goes along!
I can relate and will quickly share my similar story. My last job before I quit drinking was in a restaurant; most of the past six years I was a server or bartender, when I was working at all. I really liked this particular restaurant but I was in the darkest days of my alcoholism, the last six months of last year. I got fired; not for anything related to drinking but the VP who hired me knew something was really wrong and had even brought up some changes in me, overall, as well as noticing the frequency I would drink after my shift, even during the day.
I work now, and make $9/hr. At a great, positive place, and it's been a luxury to have the job- my parents basically support me 75% financially. I prayed, thought, talked to my sponsor and program friends...about asking for my old job back. I had to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons (and not just putting money as the reason), that I had a program/steps in place to help me in a drinking environment, and doing the next right thing, so to speak, in my recovery bc it is the number one priority. But I do have to support myself and make money, and right now this job would be an immediate way to do that much better.
At almost 5 months, I felt my intuition was telling me I was on the right track to ask for my old job. I did, and met with the boss today. It went well and she is going to let me know on Fri if it's a go. I was completely honest with her and answered all her questions.
I think you did the right thing and am just sharing my story so that as you go along, you know that you aren't alone with the job/life/sobriety thing - and that you will get stronger and keep trusting yourself as it goes along!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
James, it sounds like you're in a good place right now and that's really great.
Learning to listen to that quiet little voice that tells us everything we need to know, is a gift of recovery.
Learning to listen to that quiet little voice that tells us everything we need to know, is a gift of recovery.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
