I just want to be myself again
I just want to be myself again
Hi guys it's me again. I haven't been on here in a while because I decided that I wasn't ready to quit drinking. I liked it. I looked forward to it everyday. Coming home and drinking myself into a nice blissful sleep. But this morning getting up for work just sucked so bad and I am sick of feeling this way. I miss my old self that would get up each day with drive and enthusiasm and no hangover and give 100% each day.
I think it is least who says you need to want sobriety more than you want to drink. I want that now. I want to wake up each morning refreshed and energized way more than my couple hours each night of senseless imbibing. I want that old me back way more than that.
I am not physically dependent I don't no why it is so damned hard for me to just STOP. I am really angry and disappointed with myself this morning. I need to stop listening to my AV and instead come straight on here when I feel the urge to drink.
This sucks.
I think it is least who says you need to want sobriety more than you want to drink. I want that now. I want to wake up each morning refreshed and energized way more than my couple hours each night of senseless imbibing. I want that old me back way more than that.
I am not physically dependent I don't no why it is so damned hard for me to just STOP. I am really angry and disappointed with myself this morning. I need to stop listening to my AV and instead come straight on here when I feel the urge to drink.
This sucks.
Don't stop trying Mns I know you can do this take drinking off the menu full stop & work on your sobriety whether it's coming here for 5-10 mins a day (or longer) reading recovery books journalling your thoughts fears and successes going to mnts getting help with a sponser (I done this on the night of my first mtn)
Whatever happens no more drinking
why not start an accountability thread in newcomers ?
Whatever happens no more drinking
why not start an accountability thread in newcomers ?
Thank you everyone.
Soberwolf I think an accountability thread is a good idea I've thought about doing that in the past but now I realize I really do need something to actively keep myself accountable.
Soberwolf I think an accountability thread is a good idea I've thought about doing that in the past but now I realize I really do need something to actively keep myself accountable.
If you aren't physically dependent now try and stay quit! I wasn't for a long time then I was and each withdrawal got worse and worse. The last one almost killed me and I know the next one would.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Regarding your OP, I think you reached an important milestone. Realizing that its just not a life you want to live anymore, and its just not worth it. I know that sounds trivial, but for some, it really comes down to just that.
When I was drinking daily, I got to a point where I would jump out of bed every morning to go to work because I knew no matter what I did that day, I could come home and "unwind". Things are totally different now, my sleep is so good sometimes its hard getting up, but after the shower and a cup of coffee, I'm ready to go....and with a clear head and physically feeling great. Its a wonderful life.
When I was drinking daily, I got to a point where I would jump out of bed every morning to go to work because I knew no matter what I did that day, I could come home and "unwind". Things are totally different now, my sleep is so good sometimes its hard getting up, but after the shower and a cup of coffee, I'm ready to go....and with a clear head and physically feeling great. Its a wonderful life.
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