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I just want to be myself again

Old 07-13-2016, 01:46 AM
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I just want to be myself again

Hi guys it's me again. I haven't been on here in a while because I decided that I wasn't ready to quit drinking. I liked it. I looked forward to it everyday. Coming home and drinking myself into a nice blissful sleep. But this morning getting up for work just sucked so bad and I am sick of feeling this way. I miss my old self that would get up each day with drive and enthusiasm and no hangover and give 100% each day.

I think it is least who says you need to want sobriety more than you want to drink. I want that now. I want to wake up each morning refreshed and energized way more than my couple hours each night of senseless imbibing. I want that old me back way more than that.

I am not physically dependent I don't no why it is so damned hard for me to just STOP. I am really angry and disappointed with myself this morning. I need to stop listening to my AV and instead come straight on here when I feel the urge to drink.

This sucks.
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Old 07-13-2016, 01:54 AM
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Good to see you again and welcome back. Please go easy on yourself, we've been where you are.
Xxx
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Old 07-13-2016, 02:43 AM
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Don't stop trying Mns I know you can do this take drinking off the menu full stop & work on your sobriety whether it's coming here for 5-10 mins a day (or longer) reading recovery books journalling your thoughts fears and successes going to mnts getting help with a sponser (I done this on the night of my first mtn)

Whatever happens no more drinking

why not start an accountability thread in newcomers ?
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Old 07-13-2016, 06:50 AM
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Originally Posted by mns1 View Post
I am not physically dependent I don't no why it is so damned hard for me to just STOP.
Don't assume addiction mean physically dependent. You are dependent. Mentally. You are addicted to the effects of alcohol.

Addiction. Treat it accordingly.
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Old 07-13-2016, 06:53 AM
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I hope this time you can get sober for good.
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Old 07-13-2016, 07:15 AM
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24/7 new energetic sober self is much better that 2 hours of boozey self! You can do this!
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Old 07-13-2016, 07:19 AM
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Thank you everyone.

Soberwolf I think an accountability thread is a good idea I've thought about doing that in the past but now I realize I really do need something to actively keep myself accountable.
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Old 07-13-2016, 07:33 AM
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If you aren't physically dependent now try and stay quit! I wasn't for a long time then I was and each withdrawal got worse and worse. The last one almost killed me and I know the next one would.
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Old 07-13-2016, 09:02 AM
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Thank you Della the though of developing physical dependence does scare me
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Old 07-13-2016, 09:17 AM
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It's really good to see you, mns!
Xo
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Old 07-13-2016, 09:27 AM
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Welcome back, mns; you have been missed.

Mental dependence/addiction is so very dangerous, too.

Love the idea of an accountability thread - go for it!!!
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Old 07-13-2016, 09:36 AM
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Welcome back.

The accountability thread is a wonderful idea.
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Old 07-13-2016, 09:55 AM
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Aw Mns so glad to see you again! I think an accountability thread is a great idea too! I also found the Weekender thread super helpful
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Old 07-13-2016, 11:50 AM
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Thanks guys feels good just to post again. I'm definitely going to do the accountability thread.
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Old 07-13-2016, 01:37 PM
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Regarding your OP, I think you reached an important milestone. Realizing that its just not a life you want to live anymore, and its just not worth it. I know that sounds trivial, but for some, it really comes down to just that.

When I was drinking daily, I got to a point where I would jump out of bed every morning to go to work because I knew no matter what I did that day, I could come home and "unwind". Things are totally different now, my sleep is so good sometimes its hard getting up, but after the shower and a cup of coffee, I'm ready to go....and with a clear head and physically feeling great. Its a wonderful life.
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