Former sponsor relapsed and in jail!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Former sponsor relapsed and in jail!
I called my sponsor today as usual and I just asked if he spoke with my former sponsor as we're all good friends from Outpatient originally. Things with my original sponsor didnt work out during my last run. Wasnt his fault. I'm the one that went on the bender. I tried calling him today and his phone is never ever off. I mean straight to vmail and voice mail inbox is full. We just text late last night. Anyhow I asked my sponsor if he heard from him. He wasnt going to tell me at first but said he was in jail and he had got a DUI (drugs) a couple of traffic citations and possession of a controlled substance. I cant belive it! He was just about to start sponsoring someone else as his addiction was pills not alcohol and he stopped drinking altogether in order to do so.
Just crazy! I'll be there for him when he gets out.
Just crazy! I'll be there for him when he gets out.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Sorry to hear that man. I hope he gets the help he needs and hope he finds the same support it sounds like you did.
Its tough. You cant let your guard down. I joined this site two years ago and it took me easy a year and a half to get my bearings right.
Thanks for sharing.
Its tough. You cant let your guard down. I joined this site two years ago and it took me easy a year and a half to get my bearings right.
Thanks for sharing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
No kidding man. I'm still working on me every day. I really hope he sees this as the perfect opportunity.
Originally Posted by jryan19982 
Sorry to hear that man. I hope he gets the help he needs and hope he finds the same support it sounds like you did.
Its tough. You cant let your guard down. I joined this site two years ago and it took me easy a year and a half to get my bearings right.
Thanks for sharing.
Its tough. You cant let your guard down. I joined this site two years ago and it took me easy a year and a half to get my bearings right.
Thanks for sharing.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by getright15
He was just about to start sponsoring someone else as his addiction was pills not alcohol and he stopped drinking altogether in order to do so.
Getting loaded is getting loaded. The idea that someone would stop using a particular drug that was not their drug of choice in order to be able to start sponsoring someone who happened to like that drug is beyond concerning, it's insane and totally missing the point.
Hopefully I'm missing something. That said, NA is very clear that it's a program of abstinence from all drugs including alcohol, and AA is certainly about abstinence from alcohol. I can't imagine what program he would be sponsoring people in if he was drinking.
If I'm reading the post right, your former sponsor didn't relapse, he just never stopped using.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
I agree 100% about addiction is addiction no matter what the drug or drink of choice. In a nut shell. When I first asked him to be my sponsor I had no idea he drank on occasion. When I went on my last run and came back to the program is when I switched sponsors. I can't tell anyone else how to do thier program as I'm still early in my recovery. I was shocked myself when he told me about it as his sponsor agrees with the notion that he shouldn't be sponsoring anyone if he still chooses to have a glass of wine etc.
Originally Posted by IvanMike
That's a very troubling sentence. (Emphasis mine).
Getting loaded is getting loaded. The idea that someone would stop using a particular drug that was not their drug of choice in order to be able to start sponsoring someone who happened to like that drug is beyond concerning, it's insane and totally missing the point.
Hopefully I'm missing something. That said, NA is very clear that it's a program of abstinence from all drugs including alcohol, and AA is certainly about abstinence from alcohol. I can't imagine what program he would be sponsoring people in if he was drinking.
If I'm reading the post right, your former sponsor didn't relapse, he just never stopped using.
Getting loaded is getting loaded. The idea that someone would stop using a particular drug that was not their drug of choice in order to be able to start sponsoring someone who happened to like that drug is beyond concerning, it's insane and totally missing the point.
Hopefully I'm missing something. That said, NA is very clear that it's a program of abstinence from all drugs including alcohol, and AA is certainly about abstinence from alcohol. I can't imagine what program he would be sponsoring people in if he was drinking.
If I'm reading the post right, your former sponsor didn't relapse, he just never stopped using.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Hope you are just teasing IvanMike, Thomas 🙂 I am a fan of straight talk like that because I am good at rationalizing bad choices and plain straight talk cuts right through that crap.
Hope your former sponsor is ok! That is terrible and Im sure scary for you.
Hope your former sponsor is ok! That is terrible and Im sure scary for you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Yeah, the idea "why in the heck is he sponsoring anyone??" came right to my mind too.
Do you have a plan to get a new sponsor? Seems like a "break" from this little group might be a good idea. You can still be supportive.
I would worry (personally) that this guy would not be a good influence on you right now and say it is ok to take a break from interacting.
Be strong for yourself.
Do you have a plan to get a new sponsor? Seems like a "break" from this little group might be a good idea. You can still be supportive.
I would worry (personally) that this guy would not be a good influence on you right now and say it is ok to take a break from interacting.
Be strong for yourself.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
No, I no longer mince words. - I've seen too many people die or live lives of misery and slow death.
Wish him the best, learn from the experience, and move on.
By sponsoring you while still using he was attempting to lead you down a path that he knew nothing about.
Wish him the best, learn from the experience, and move on.
By sponsoring you while still using he was attempting to lead you down a path that he knew nothing about.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
That's a shame. I'm glad to hear you will be there for him. Its the right thing to do.
True story: I had to go to mandatory DUI classes in the mid 90's for an alcohol related offense. The "instructor" was a recovering addict. I listened to him every Tuesday preach and teach about the dangers of alcohol and drugs. 2 years later I saw him at a bar and he asked me if I wanted to go to his car and smoke crack. I about crapped myself. Needless to say I declined. I have never done crack and wasn't about to start that night.
True story: I had to go to mandatory DUI classes in the mid 90's for an alcohol related offense. The "instructor" was a recovering addict. I listened to him every Tuesday preach and teach about the dangers of alcohol and drugs. 2 years later I saw him at a bar and he asked me if I wanted to go to his car and smoke crack. I about crapped myself. Needless to say I declined. I have never done crack and wasn't about to start that night.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
He hasnt been my sponsor since my last run almost 70 days ago. I asked himt to be my sponsor when he was really working the program at the time. I've had a new sponsor the last couple of months.
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