effortjoy

For some reason the word "sober" has negative connotations for me like when we stop drinking it makes us sad, serious and muted somehow? So I have been coming up with new descriptions for "not drinking" instead of sobriety: freedom, clarity, strength, courage. Please add your own positive descriptions of how it feels for you to be free from alcohol.
I also noticed again how even weekly binge drinking (and I think this would happen even if I just drank once a month or even once a year) was a way for me to not "feel" my feelings, to postpone pain, anger, frustration until I could try to make it disappear into my binge but I can finally see that the binge itself just took all the feelings, made them go away for maybe an hour and then brought them back, with the pain and anxiety doubled and then mixed in with the shame. So maybe recovery can also be described as "open to the world" again because now I'm feeling every feeling, good and bad and everything in between. Is that why many of us feel so fragile at the beginning of recovery, we are suddenly forced to feel again and vulnerable to life's ups and downs without the illusory shield of drinking?

FreeOwl

I think all of those descriptors are good, and accurate.

Personally, I've come to find 'sober' a pretty powerful word that I feel good about. There was a time I didn't feel that way. I do think it has societal connotations (particularly amongst the heavy-drinking subsets of society). But I am less concerned about how others may take it these days. Bit by bit.

madgirl

Some variation of this story comes up often in my life - I think because I am married to a drinker and he often points out all these scenarios which prove his point that "most adults drink". Granted he can stop at three beers.

I honestly felt powerful in my sober state the last time I hung out with drinkers because I had my wits about me, was hydrated and lucid. Drinking makes me sloppy and anxious. Why would anyone choose an anxious, vulnerable and impaired state over clarity and calm?

NoelleR

Did you know, effortjoy, that in its literature, AA defines sobriety as freedom from alcohol (through the teaching and practice of the twelve steps), right? So, I'll just stick with sober/sobriety.

(o:

FreeOwl

exactly!

I've come to value the lucidity of being sober.

I have come to really appreciate knowing that I can drive, I can come to aid, I can remember things, I can figure things out, I won't likely lose things.

And even if I would quit at three beers (which I actually had done many, many times in my drinking years) - I don't even WANT to put 500-900 calories worth of alcohol in my body. I don't even WANT to put my liver through the effort of processing three beers worth of alcohol - I'd rather it focus on my general health. I don't WANT to have three beverages that will leave me feeling a bit dull, dehydrated and likely vaguely thirsting for more.

I don't really get the point. Some people say "but I just like it for the taste". I never felt that way. Sure, I appreciated and paid attention to the taste of various wines and beers.... but that was more something to notice and discuss along the way to the EFFECT.

No thanks

MelindaFlowers

I like the term non-drinker. I'm a pretty normal person, I just do not drink alcohol.

SnazzyDresser

I always think about the expression "sober as a judge" and laugh. Somber and sober are so close I'd guess the distinction gets blurred for some.

Winslow

Unchained,clear headed,unshackled are good ones to me my drinking days are referred to as "my stupid days" I like nondrinker too cuz I just don't,doesn't matter what you call sober,just as long as you are😊

sanguinity

"So I have been coming up with new descriptions for 'not drinking' instead of sobriety: freedom, clarity, strength, courage."

I love this post.

Jsbodhi

I don't like the word either- glad someone else said it.
I like the word clean
It's more used for drugs- but I still like it better

JamesfrmEngland

I don't like the word alcoholic, it's why I most of the time refuse to call myself one.

But I like sober, for me it means to be of sound judgement to not be clouded by ale.

PurpleKnight

The important thing is to use what works for you, not drinking is the aim, how we achieve that or what label we put on it can come in many varieties.

In the beginning, I kept it simple, "Im not drinking today"

. . . well I now haven't been drinking today for years!!

MIRecovery

You can call me Ray or Dave as long as I'm not drinking today will be a good day

Mountainmanbob

Free from running with the "liquid devil".

Watch their faces as you lay that line on them.

M-Bob

Yogapants

Sober doesn't mean that we have to be somber :-) Sober is fun and laughter and happiness that you can experience fully, without the dulling effect of alcohol. I chose to be sober and I chose to be happy.

Leezer

Took me a long time to realize that "sober" was WAY different from "not drinking"; it involves a plan for life change. I tried "not drinking" many times.

I now feel comfortable and good with sober. It keeps me on track, not stuck or sad. But everyone is different!

Mountainmanbob

Calm in the mind

Dame

HaHa! Sober as a judge doesn't mean much in my city. Had a friend who worked with a lot of these guys, and the stink of whiskey or vodka, the red eyes, and blurred speech..... Let's just say the meting out of justice is pretty inconsistent.

Dame

I will stubbornly continue to use the word "Teetotal" or Teetotaler even if no one knows what it means. Of course if there is drinking around me and I say it, folks usually "get it" in context. If not, I'm happy to explain.

I just LOVE this word, and want to spread it. Thanks UK-ers. Such positive connotations. And you DON'T have to drink tea

thomas11

I've never openly referred to myself as sober, but I've also never openly referred to myself as an alcoholic. This journey is mine and only mine. Internally I think of myself as free. And its awesome.