A Moment of Hope
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
A Moment of Hope
I went on a yoga retreat with myself this weekend. It was great and challenging and difficult and enlightening. It took me about 4 hours to drive there.
On the way home today, I was driving, windows opened, singing along to a song, and it hit me. I was happy. For the first time in SO long (I don't know how long, really), I was happy. No STBXAH, no co-dependency, no divorce (the divorce date is set for my birthday, btw), no drama, no nothing except being in the moment. And it was incredible.
Six months ago, I could not have anticipated the sweetness of that moment. And as soon as I realized it, it was gone. But it was ok, because I really, truly felt hope at that second.
I want to share that because for so long...I've been on here since 2007!...I forgot what happiness felt like, until I felt it today. Freedom. Life. I can get through this. We can all get through this.
On the way home today, I was driving, windows opened, singing along to a song, and it hit me. I was happy. For the first time in SO long (I don't know how long, really), I was happy. No STBXAH, no co-dependency, no divorce (the divorce date is set for my birthday, btw), no drama, no nothing except being in the moment. And it was incredible.
Six months ago, I could not have anticipated the sweetness of that moment. And as soon as I realized it, it was gone. But it was ok, because I really, truly felt hope at that second.
I want to share that because for so long...I've been on here since 2007!...I forgot what happiness felt like, until I felt it today. Freedom. Life. I can get through this. We can all get through this.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
TFM, what a great post! I am so happy for you. I remember reading on here a quote about recovery that went "Recovery is being asked to give up everything you know to get something better that you don't understand yet."
From where I am at this point, I think I'd amend that saying to end up with "something better that you can't even possibly imagine yet." I think, after your weekend, that you might agree!
We are in such fear for so long, standing in the shadows, cold and afraid, that we can't even imagine what it feels like when the sun blows away the darkness and warms our backs...
From where I am at this point, I think I'd amend that saying to end up with "something better that you can't even possibly imagine yet." I think, after your weekend, that you might agree!
We are in such fear for so long, standing in the shadows, cold and afraid, that we can't even imagine what it feels like when the sun blows away the darkness and warms our backs...
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
AWESOME post! You're right, there is life and it's meant to be lived.
BTW, my divorce from my exah was finalized in court on my birthday too...lol. At first I thought what a crummy bummer...then, I realized it was the best gift I could give myself...life, freedom, peace!
BTW, my divorce from my exah was finalized in court on my birthday too...lol. At first I thought what a crummy bummer...then, I realized it was the best gift I could give myself...life, freedom, peace!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
THanks for sharing!
I don't think we realize how bad it really was til we get out, and feel how good it can be, then see that there are no longer limits to our happiness.
Looking at pictures of me before leaving and after....my smile is bigger now - because it is AUTHENTIC!
Enjoy that renewed happiness and peace!!
I don't think we realize how bad it really was til we get out, and feel how good it can be, then see that there are no longer limits to our happiness.
Looking at pictures of me before leaving and after....my smile is bigger now - because it is AUTHENTIC!
Enjoy that renewed happiness and peace!!
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