MB8

She is done. Had the world on a silver platter and drank it away. " never thought it would happen to me ". Following right in my dad's footsteps. Next stop...6 foot under. What do I do. Right to the bar. And here I drink... Would continue on but my beer is low. Got to get the bartenders attention. I now fully understand the definition of " INSANITY ". Thanks for listening.

Nowsthetime

I'm so sorry to hear this...

What you do depends on what you want. If you want to keep drinking you head to the bar. If you want to be sober you go home sober up and make a plan.

We are here to support you.

least

I'm sorry that you're drinking. I would hope it would be a wake up call for you to get sober.

MB8

I'm going to give it a go tomoro. Day 1 ... Take 100.

biminiblue

Since you are still able to type you clearly are not a lost cause.

I hope you find the will and the help to get sober. If you are here, that's a good first step.

The problems with your wife are not going to be fixed with a drink.

MB8

That's the thing with me. I don't get hammered. I get to a point and I'm done. Usually 8-10 beers. Never have more. Just a good strong buzz. But I can't live without it. As of late I've chose that over sex with my wife. What the hell is wrong with me. Getting a hotel tonight. Hopefully tomoro I wake up more clear headed. I don't think she is at her wits end but I know it's dam close.

MB8

Oh and also... Just to add to it. I have a 5 and 7 year olds that are suffering greatly from it.

MB8

And I love her dearly.. Just so hard to leave my first love.

LadyBlue0527

Walk away from the drink MB8, be done with it. For good.

This is not new to you, you've been around these parts for some time now. You can spend a lifetime of "tomorrow" statements.

There's a lot more to this story than you not getting hammered and only having 8 to 10 beers a day. If that were the case then your wife wouldn't be saying she's had it nor would you be reflecting on what it's doing to your kids.

It's time to be real. Walk away from that bar right now and get your head where it needs to be.

Dharma33

It doesn't have to be this way.

You are putting alcohol in first place- ahead of your wife, children, and even yourself.

You can pay the tab, go home, drink some water, and go to bed.

You CAN get sober and good life.

Hawkeye13

Yep--I grew up with an alcoholic mom.
Not a good outcome for her or I.

Put down the drink and work on saving yourself and your family.
You can do it if you truly make up your mind to it.

Nowsthetime

Try to be self-aware, step out of your life and look in.

Is this how you want it to be. You have the power to make it all you want with your family. If you work at sobriety it will pay up.

MB8

Thanks for the responses. Funny thing is is I remember coming to this bar years ago when it was so much fun. I looked forward to it. Great times, great friends, and nothing but the future to looks towards. Now I sit here by myself and look at the past. And what went so wrong. Friends are no longer around, times are no longer great, and I stare into the past, what I can remember of it, and think of nothing but despair. And now it's affecting the people I love the most. It's a crazy disease. One my dad could never master. And now I'm on the verge of giving into it as well. Thanks to all of u.

hellrzr

Looks like you've been on here since 2013 so I would presume you've been told over and over to get to and AA meeting so I won't say that to you again but if you really want to stop and learn to live life the answer is right in front of you.

dwtbd

"Can't live without it" Right there , change you're perspective on that dreadful untruth.
"Feels , like I can't live without it" that is the truthful statement you need to deal with. Continuing to live with it will not give the best chance at living happily , and odds are a lot of the ' nevers'( never have more, never other than beer, never in the morning..ect) will go by the wayside, alcohol abuse is progressive. You have the power to make the choice to change your perspective , do it because you never know, but do it because you can. You can certainly exist without the Buzz, I guarantee you will prefer it, it's hard to get there but doable , do it now switch to water , sleep it off all the sooner to clearheadedness.

Nowsthetime

Do you want to quit?

Making that call is the first step. You can work from there.

Have you ever tried a plan to quit?

MB8

I 100% want to quit or I wouldn't be here. I can't go to treatment or meetings. My career would be over. I have to white knuckle it and get it done.

EndGameNYC

It seems that your marriage is about to be over. Your career may not survive, with or without treatment, but I know from experience which one would increase your odds of avoiding unemployment.

Much as I hate to say it, but insisting that you can't get treatment, from a bar, seems like something less than 100%.

Wastinglife

The last 5 years, I also found myself in drinking alone in bars I used to frequent in my younger days. My friends had all moved on with their lives but I stalled just as I was supposed to be entering my prime.

I am in early sobriety but determined to write a new chapter in life. Never too late to stop the madness.

MB8

Thanks all. Leaving now. Had my 10 beers. Still an early day. Going to take nap and then get my life started. Doesn't matter if u make great money if your relationships are ****. Thank you.