SpringWater

Hi, another day here. Another day full of anxiety and stress. I have a super stressful job and the day goes from one very stressful thing to another. I was dealing with it and "making it through" by telling myself it would be fine because I could drink away the stress when I got home. Did you guys do that too? How do you deal with the stress? Sometimes I feel like it is going to smother and kill me. Other times I am not sure I can keep going on (but I am a mother and I absolutely have to).

This morning during my moments of intense fear and anxiety I was trying to pray and telling myself to turn it over to God. Well, I haven't been a spiritual or religious person in the past but i am REALLY trying to be now. So far I don't feel any difference. Does it just take time?

Nonsensical

Demolition works wonders.

Something somewhere needs to be in smaller pieces.

endlesspatience

A few minutes prayer and meditation in the morning before diving into a stressful job is a really good idea. I use a little prayer book and a journal and I try to make 30 minutes in the morning. I'm learning that the most fruitful approach to prayer is not to ask God for a list of things I want like a wish list for Father Christmas but to ask how I can be of service to other people each day.

Fly N Buy

I was told God could and would if He were sought. So, I sought. I find His comforting presence as I continually seek - morning, nightly and throughout my day.

Gratitude for what He has done for me and what He has NOT done to me I believe keep me on the right path. That gratitude is not just being thankful but taking action of loving and helping others.

Three frogs sat on a log - one decided to jump off. How many frogs remained on the log??

Three


Making a decision is different than taking action. I am thankful I have car that works. Part of my gratitude for that is demonstrated by keeping it clean, washed and in good order as I can.

Keep doing exactly what you're doing - God finds us when we are crushed and in pain. This is when He wants to help us. He healed the infirmed - He looked (sought) for one lost sheep............

Thank you for the thread - it helped me today responding.

biminiblue

It does take time for the body to settle down. That includes the nervous system...or rather - especially the nervous system.

There are two parts to prayer, one is asking but the second is believing God is working for my good and that I'm right where He wants me to be. Faith.

If getting sober was a cake-walk, I might have thought it was okay to go back and forth. As it was, I got the lesson loud and clear. It was difficult and uncomfortable and that will be forever seared in my memory.

tomsteve

it might help us to help you to explain what the stressful situations are.

other than that
1) don't sweat the small stuff
2) its all small stuff
3) if ya cant run and ya cant hide, go with the flow.


what caused the fear and anxiety?

HopeandFaith1

I understand. I too have a stressful job and like you considered drinking a reward for making it through the day.

I didn’t stop to consider that my workdays were more stressful BECAUSE I was drinking. When I was hung over I was probably only at 50% at work and called in “sick” more than I should have. I also did not communicate very well with co-workers and had a hard time keeping my never ending anxiety and depression at bay. This didn’t exactly make me employee of the year.

Now that I have stopped drinking I find that what I thought was so stressful really wasn’t that bad at all. Not to say that there aren’t still stressful moments but I find I deal with them in a more calm and rational manner. Also I used to run out the door at quitting time to go home to drink and would fly into a rage if anyone tried to stop me. Now I stay a little late when necessary and no longer feel as if working is cutting into my drinking time.

My reward at the end of the day is coming home and having a nice dinner and curling up on the couch with a dog or two. My reward is also peace and serenity. I read a lot and actually find myself getting into some TV shows every now and then. My conversations with my husband are overall more civil than they were when I was drinking. I often started my happy hour on my drive home from work and would come home and “pretend” not to have started drinking already. I am so glad that is over.

Also like you I spent years, even decades praying for God to help me, to sooth my soul and remove my affliction before anything really bad could happen. I would go so far as to get on my knees and pray for God to fix what was wrong with me. I remember towards the end of my drinking sitting in the bathtub and crying hysterically and praying with everything I had for Jesus to help me. Even though I didn’t think it was working I still kept praying out of complete desperation.
Towards the end of April of this year something changed. I don’t know if God finally heard my prayers but the urge to drink gradually started to lift. I was able to go much longer times without drinking but still had a few nights where I continued to indulge. However I also knew that moderation was not an option and I would absolutely have to completely give it up sooner rather than later. I did not want to see how much further I could fall.

Now I am at the longest I’ve ever gone without drinking and have had very few urges to pick up. My husband has continued to drink steadily through this and my fridge is full of beers and I hardly notice them. There is something that has changed, some switch has been turned off in my brain and I am grateful to the point of tears every day. I continue to pray that it will not get turned on again but I am prepared for that to happen. There are lots of tools I have picked up on SR for when the inevitable cravings kick in again.

I know there are people who are not religious and I have no intention of offending or upsetting anyone. Since you mentioned prayer I thought I would let you know how it worked out for me. It took YEARS of praying to feel any noticeable difference and I am so, so grateful I didn’t give up on God. Sometimes the answer we get is not always the answer we expect. I do believe God has helped me but still I must do the heavy lifting.

There are many, many roads to recovery and praying is just one of them but usually a plan is also needed, whether it be AA, Rational Recovery, rehab, Smart, SR and many others.

I also think I was able to quit this time because I was just really ready. All my “not-yets” were starting to happen and I was tired of being a sloppy, ugly, destructive person.

Sorry this is so long but your post really resonated with me and regardless of what direction you take, I hope and pray you are able to find peace and sobriety in your life.

Anna

I tried to reduce stress in my life because I knew that was a necessity for me to recover. Have you considered changing jobs and looking for something with less daily stress? I hope you find some peace.

SpringWater

I am so thankful for your responses. Although I am not a religious person I have ALWAYS admired people who were. Faith to me seemed like a gift I didn't have. I am going to keep on praying just like Daisyforever did and believe God will work in my life. I have to for my sanity! And I hope it happens sooner rather than later.

I would love to find another job. The cons of doing so are that in 5 years if I stay in my current position I can retire. Also, I am in a very specialized field that I've been in since the late 1980s and where I work is pretty much the only place in the US that does what I do. I have specific education and training for my job and sadly it has pigeonholed me. But mostly I want to be able to retire without a penalty. Maybe I have to let all of that go? I just don't know.

hpdw

Springwater , looking at your situation wondering what I would do. If you left your specialized job to take up another position you could create more stress due to the move and possible financial loss . You say your current job is very stressful , was it always that way ? has the role changed or have you changed ?
ask yourself if you can work at bringing stress levels down by applying some of many self help stress reduction techniques . As you gain more sober time you will become stronger and you really are stronger than you think .

tomsteve

spring, it will help us tremendously to know the situations causing stress so we can help you. if you don't want to say it in the forum, maybe you can Pm someone and open up about whats happening and get some suggestions on solutions.

Dee74

some good ideas here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html

badmash

I get that way too sometimes I don't know where you are in your step work but I recommend reading pages 86 87 88 everyday. Also call your sponsor and talk to her usually mine helps me and gives me tough love. And helps me get to the root of the issues. Prayer and meditation help me also calling another alcoholic getting out of self and fellowship sometimes. Also just accepting where I am at and saying a prayer and stop trying so hard to change the feelings I pray and then go do something else like color wash dishes or something else and I fine sometimes the stress is removed without trying. I don't mean to sound preachy but hang in there you are doing great reaching out it gets better.

badmash

If you need to talk you can pm me I can be a close mouthed friend

gettingsmarter

Exercise does wonders for me. If it is safe for you, cardio is an excelent stress buster.

Thomas45

I normally post on the 'other side of the pond' on these forums, but I figured I might chime in here.

This is my flow chart for stress:
http://www.mindpowernews.com/problem.jpg

I work in a stressful job as well - I'm running a 2 man forming crew, building all the stairwells on a commercial construction site that has 30 stairwells (as of right now, anyways. That number will go up soon as we keep building up). I'm under tight deadlines to prioritize which stairway to build on any given day, and some days I simply have to work 10-12 hours. No choice. Stressful? Yes. But at the end of the day when I go home, I have my health. I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. I have food in my fridge, and a truck in my driveway. Breathe and live well, eat healthy, exercise. Engage in a hobby. Find positive outlets for doing things that you enjoy, and suddenly you won't be thinking about being stressed out.

Spirituality is a little harder to touch on, because your sense of spirituality is unique to you, just as mine is to me. In the most generic sense, being 'spiritual' means feeling a sense of oneness with something intangible that is bigger than yourself, whether that 'something' is God, the universe, a moral code, the movement of the cosmos, or a funny-shaped tree branch that might possibly harbor a miniature deity. Trying to be spiritual by following a set of instructions on how to conduct yourself is like trying to make the tail wag the dog: your actions are an expression of your spirituality, but they don't cause you be more or less spiritual. People don't go to church because they want to feel close to God, they go to church because they *do* feel close to God and want to express that feeling through prayer and sermon. I think the important thing to take away from this is to ask yourself "what do I believe in?" and then ponder what actions or lifestyle best suit your personal connection with that belief, and run with it.