jlssamsara

I've been an alcoholic for now what I've known to be 15 years or more... I've been battling hard for a year or so.... I actually managed to stay sober for almost all of 2015... 2016 I'm touch and go right now.... I work from home... (god knows how I even get work) I keep "slipping"... I am "isolated" simply from my job... then the "anxiety" hits every morning... so I might get 2 or 3 hrs of sleep... and I get stuck in that rut.... any advise? People with similar things they went through? How do you break the cycle enough to get to a meeting? Thank you all for anyone's time I just took up.

Opivotal

I was tired jlssamsara, picked myself up and did what I had to do. I was willing to try anything. Sounds so simple doesn't it? You and I both know it isn't, but it is achievable if you want to change.

The support of SR helped me more than I can say.

You can do this!

LBrain

when I experienced cravings in my first year, I stopped what I was doing and logged on to SR, just the break alone helped. And it put me in the mindset of 'not drinking'. And reading how other people are suffering was enough to keep me on track.
Look into AVRT - It's hidden in 'secular connections' section of the forums. There is a 'sticky' that explains it. It is an alternative to attending meetings.
That's one option. You empower yourself to take charge of your drinking - or rather, your not drinking.

jlssamsara

Thank you both. I know it's possible... it just seems so "confusing" and so "logical" at the same time... I never have asked or discussed my issues online so it means a lot for you to take the time and answer. I'll check out "AVRT " also.

FreeOwl

I work from home and isolation is a part of the cycle.

I use a daily trip each morning to the coffee shop as a social outlet. I try to get to the gym a few times a week, and make a point to connect with humans a bit there.

Running got me connected to new people, too.

And I have gone to a therapist off and on for a few years.

I try to work in some new things that I'd like to experience - things that will involve other people, things not connected to drinking. Getting OUT and getting social, human contact is important.

And of course.... whenever I'm feeling challenged in my sobriety or just feeling a little disconnected, I'll go hit a meeting.

ACTION. Take action in the direction of sobriety. Take ACTION to connect with another human being.... bit by bit, it will help.

GAHaley

I have tried for years now (including a stay in rehab) and I will tell you that SR has been a lifesaver this time around. I check in on here almost every hour and as said above definitely when I'm craving.

Think about joining the July class. It will help provide accountability & support.

Other things that worked for me in the first week:

Drink lots of water
Make sure you are eating (healthy if possible, but just don't let yourself be hungry)
Come up with a plan & a list of distractions
HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
Read/Post on SR
Go to meetings
Identify at least one person you can call when things get tough, if possible
Reach out

Hope this helps! Hang in there. You've done it before so you know you can do it for good

ScottFromWI

You put it in your calendar and you go. The cycle is a mental one that our addiction likes to keep going. You hold the key to break it by taking action.

I would imagine you have a schedule or at least tasks that you need to accomplish for your job or deadlines. Treat getting sober the same way - make it a priority to attend meetings just as you would with an important work deadline. Put it in your calendar, your phone, a sticky note on the fridge, whatever helps keep you accountable.

As others have mentioned spending time here on SR on a regular basis or joining a monthly class thread can give you some virtual accountability too.

jlssamsara

HALT That actually made me laugh... I remember that from rehab and I'm am hitting all 4 right now lol

jlssamsara

That really also hit home... I was always the first one at AA.... and now I barely even go... it needs to be a priority.

SpringWater

I find my drinking isolates me more and more. I think it is narrowing my world and my life to one miserable dark place. Thank you for your post. You are not alone.

Kelly12390

I have no good advice to offer you, I just want you to know I'm sending positive vibes your way. Give up the drink, I know it's not easy at all, but fight for you!!! Please hang in there. Right now, this second, moving forward you can start a new life

ZenLifter

Maybe tell all of us on here that you ARE going to a meeting today... and later or tomorrow we'll ask you how it went.

Dee74

Welcome to SR - joining up here is a great start.

Being a part of this community really changed things for me jlssamsara - I was with people who understood, people I didn't want to let down, and people who could help me with advice

D

Hevyn

Great to have you with us, jlssamsara. For me, being able to talk openly about my drinking meant the world. I was no longer alone. I could feel the anxiety lessen as I found so many others had been through the exact same thing. No one in my life understood what I went through. You can do it - there is no doubt!

bigsombrero

Hi jlsamsara -

Yep, been there. It gets worse from here - not better. I was in a similar situation and eventually found that every drink I took was taking away from all my future opportunities.

It does start with getting help. You've got to ask, and take control of this yourself - nobody's gonna do it for you. Nobody's going to empty the booze from your house, toss the wine glasses and beer mugs. Nobody's going to drive you to a meeting. Some good folks here on SR can point you in the right direction (phone numbers, locations, etc) but we can't walk you there.

The bottom line: it starts with taking action. And sticking to it. You'll be frustrated and crazy the first few weeks, and bored out of your mind the next few weeks. But after that it gets better. It starts with just one step. Get to a meeting or if you can afford it get treatment/rehab. It's worth everything you have right now to get this fixed. Good luck and welcome.

trachemys

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SweatyHands

I know that this advice sounds like the standard SR "one size fits all" answer, but go see your doctor. I might be misinterpreting some of your original post, but it sounds like some physical and mental withdrawal is the first stumbling block to overcome. I know from experience, that the prospect of getting over the hump of that withdrawal, however mild or severe, is the obstacle that prevents taking the first step into recovery. I was like you--I couldn't sleep unless I was absolutely destroyed with alcohol. My eyes would pop open and my heart and mind would both start racing as soon as my body ran out of alcohol. I would toss and turn until the anxiety and restlessness were too much, and I would finally get up and take that drink. If I had spoken to my doctor early on, and gotten the help that I needed, I would have spared myself and my family a year of slow decay and isolation. And I certainly could have avoided a week in the hospital with tubes and wires sticking all over my body.

Go see your doctor as soon as possible. Once you are unshackled, it's a heck of a lot easier to make it to a meeting. You want to be sober, and that's the first step. So now you need to figure out how to make that happen.

BarbieKen

WIllingness is key. Then ACTION, as others have pointed out. I am an SR regular who works the 12 Step Program outlined in the A.A. BIg Book. Why not give it a try? What else you got going on?
Bobbi

Dave42001

Sounds like you spent a lot of time in the rooms, get to a meeting ASAP go tomorrow.. Ask for help, you know they will be there for you!!

Get off the insanity train!! call some of your old buds in the fellowship, smash the ego and ask for help, we've been there!! It's a program of action as you know, make it happen! PM me if I can help in any way, I'm a brother in the program..Get better, Friend!!