SpringWater

Hi, I feel like a walking wreck. I made it through another day not drinking yesterday but I felt like an anxious mess all day and was really terrified. I hardly slept and I woke up so afraid. Afraid to drink, afraid not to drink. Fear. Just unbelievable fear and anxiety. I was talking to someone at AA who has a short amount of time like I do and he was so happy and felt so great. Why do I feel like such a huge wreck? I am supposed to have a colonoscopy tomorrow but I am afraid to have one because I am terrified of the sedatives they will give me. I am also afraid to fast all day today and take the dreaded laxative stuff. Sorry if this is TMI.

I looked up the daily reflection and it had to do with fear. I have been praying but I am still a mental wreck. Is this normal? I hate it.

Ariesagain

Anxiety is normal, but physical withdrawal is a real concern and I would definitely avoid going under anesthesia in this condition. Get honest with your doctor ASAP about why you're cancelling...the last thing they want is someone on the table whose body can't process the anesthesia meds and starts seizing. And not eating right now and potentially throwing off your electrolytes further could be deadly.

Please get some medical help. It takes a while to get through both the physical and mental dependence on alcohol...what you're experiencing right now is NOT what being sober feels like.

Your body is telling you something important about your degree of addiction but there is freedom on the other side. I hope you'll stick close here, it's a great resource. I'm on day 188 and it's because of the information and support I found here.

Check in with us later?

Soberwolf

Emotional rollercoaster rides in early sobriety are really common I'm sorry you are feeling like this I think having the thing tomorrow is really going to help take a weight off your mind compared to letting it sit over your head stressing you once it's done it's done

Stick with us SW

Delilah1

Hi Springwater,

Welcome to SR! I'm sorry you are feeling bad right now, I promise it does get better. I have just over six months sober and feel much better mentally and physically.

How many days do you have?

It might be helpful to make an appointment with your doctor to talk about the anxiety, and the physical feelings.

Hang in there, I promise it is worth it.

ScottFromWI

Yep, anxiety is very normal in early sobriety. Alcohol is a depressant, so when we stop using it our bodies and minds react accordingly.

The reflection exercises are good, meditation and slow/steady breathing can help too. It's going to take a while for it to go away, our bodies and minds simply need time to get over the damage that's been done and have to re-adjust. The WORST possible thing you could do is drink...that would re-set it all and it can make the anxiety even worse the next time.

Venecia

SpringWater, please read this thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ts-better.html

sleepie

If you are sensitive to sedatives from drinking I would mention it to your doctor before your procedure.

SpringWater

Thank you. I will read the "It Gets Better" thread. I just looked at it. It seems like perhaps a lot of people feel just awful.

Do you think it is normal to be both afraid to drink and afraid not to? Will that go away? I am sorry I am asking for so much help. I am really in a bad state.

FreeOwl

Yes, it's normal.

You are not alone.

Yes, many of us know the feeling.

Yes, it goes away.

Yes, it gets better.... and better..... and better... and then better still.

SweatyHands

Yes, that is normal for the early stages of sobriety. How long have you been sober? The anxiety will lessen the longer you are sober. Your nervous system is used to being turned down to low with the alcohol, and now that you are sober, it's just a lot more sensitive than you are used to handling. As your body adjusts to not having alcohol, your nervous system will calm down naturally.

How long have you been sober so far? I know this issue was raised above, but is physical withdrawal still a concern? If so, seeing a doctor about that should be handled before you go in for your procedure. And either way, definitely tell your doctor what's going on before your colonoscopy.

Jojay

Hi Springwater.I echo what Freeowl posted.And please check in again later.Many of us had and are having a rough 1st few weeks regarding withdrawal.You have extra on top,with your other health issues.Stay close to SR.

HeartsAfire

In short, it absolutely gets better - better than you can even imagine at this point.

I won't lie - you've sometimes got to tie a knot and hang on to your rope for dear life in the beginning, but each day gets a little easier than the one before.

Trust us. None of us would still be here if it didn't get better.

SpringWater

I called my doctor and rescheduled the colonoscopy. She seemed to think that was a good idea. I don't need more chemicals in my system now. I have 11 days. She suggested something for the anxiety but I am absolutely terrified of taking any drugs that might lead me back to drinking. Will I always have this much FEAR? I hate it. I've been praying a lot and I am not a praying type person but it sure couldn't hurt, right?

ScottFromWI

How long has it been since you quit drinking? Anxiety and fear are normal parts of all of our lives, but some of us need to treat it separately. Drugs are not always necessary but can be a helpful part of a mental health plan.

Hawkeye13

I had terrible anxiety, fear, inability to sleep much, etc. for the first few days / week but each day it got gradually better.
After two weeks or so I felt very much improved--now I am very
stable and anxiety totally gone.

Just don't drink to "take the edge off" or you'll go backwards.
Physical stuff may require a doctor--it can be dangerous.

2ndhandrose

(((SpringWater))) Please post as much and as often as you need to.

It won't always feel this scary, it really, really, really does get better.

Pixus

Hi SW. Taking mild sedatives in early recovery has never made me want to drink again, it's just taken a very small edge off the anxiety. I also do a regimen of vitamins and rescue remedy which seems to help too. Talk to your doctor if you can. It really does get better.