notgonnastoptry

As I mentioned when I was on here last year, I found SR by googling certain things that were going wrong with my body (mostly physical features--this last time, it was both that and my insides were very messed up).

I joined after that and on my first quit (nearly three years ago).

Anyway, this last time (which ended with a very serious hospitalization three weeks ago today), I noticed some very almost overnight changes in my body. I'm in my early 40s so I probably would have attributed it to that if they hadn't come across so quickly.

I lost a ton of weight (I didn't eat for weeks on end--I'd eat for a week and then go back to having no appetite). In addition to that, I was severely dehydrated (that was the number one cause of my hospitalization. Alcohol came second).

My hands went from looking age appropriate to looking like a 90 year old's hands. Really. And I'm not trying to agist. I'd look at the hands of those who were similar in age and even older and they were much more smooth--even those people over 50 and the other day, even my dad who is nearly 80.

Worse than my hands, which aren't always in plain and close sight was my neck. I just gave in to that, thinking it was age--but again, it came on so fast. Everyone has the horizontal lines, but my vertical skin there was sallow and wrinkly, especially if I moved my mouth or strained. Again, it wasn't age appropriate, but it didn't move me to quit drinking because I could figure out if it was from age, dehydration, alcohol, or a combination of all three. I was also too drunk to care, but when I did want to look nice, it bothered me. My face is still wrinkle-free and one of the dumb comments that I got in ER (I hear this all the time, but I didn't think it was relevant in ER as I lay dying) is "Wow, you look really young for your age". I wanted to tell them to look at my neck. Didn't.

At any rate, I really had no idea if my hands and neck would bounce back because, again, I thought maybe it was from age. But today, when I woke up, the neck thing was gone. Seriously. It was so weird. Like I said, it wasn't always visible--but when I was eating, drinking, even talking, and toward the end, even at certain vantage points, it was there. It was to the point where i felt better in high-neck stuff. And there you have it, there is nothing left of it. It's so weird. I moved my neck every which way.

My hands are also becoming more full and this dead layer of skin began to peel off, taking with it, the worst. No, my hands don't look like a 25 year old, but it's a miracle what water, lack of alcohol and a good diet will do.

So, there you have it. I have been motivated to quit in the past for many reasons. I'm not going to lie and say vanity was not among them. With alcohol, the age process is sped up exponentially. I'm ok seeing myself slowly age. I work on a computer and one day, last Jan., I looked down and thought "OMG, whose hands do I have. These are not mine!" They were the vodka's (and mine, of course).

Just sharing.

Happy fourth to those celebrating.

Winslow

Absolutely spot on,although the hand I hold my cigarette with still looks older,that's the next habit to break

madgirl

Yeah - toward the end I had to wear foundation and face powder every day to cover the redness - now at nearly four months I don't need the makeup 🙂 The skin started looking much better within the first month.