Jharp

Hello,

New here and have gone on a downward slide with my drinking over the years. I always have drank too much, but lately I've been saying things and doing things that I'd never do sober. I only drink on weekends but it's all weekend long.

I've offended people and embarrassed myself way too many times. My fiance drinks and likes to drink which doesn't bother me. He never gets out of control and embarrasses himself or says the wrong things like I do.

I'm so afraid of getting wasted at my own wedding and being the drunk bride, but on the other hand I don't think my fiance will understand why I would choose to quit now. I just hate who I become drunk. Most of the time I'm not horrible, but the anxiety I feel the next day after drinking is unbearable.

It seems after a night of drinking my previous bad nights come back to haunt me and my life is put on hold for almost a week because I can barely function.

Plus I seem to have given myself a bad reputation with our new group of friends. What a way to start it off. I just want to be happy and anxiety free. It seems I drink to lose my inhibitions and then when I lose them I make poor choices. Dancing on the tables types of choice. Uggggh

I think I might just try to be aware of my consumption during the wedding, then quit after. But I know I'm ready now.

least

If you're ready now, quit now. Get yourself feeling better before the wedding. And you never know, when you drink, how it will end up. You don't want something horrible to happen to you before the wedding. Quit now and save yourself a lot of grief.

Dee74

Hi and welcome jharp

I agree with least - quit now - you'll feel better for the wedding and you'll remember all of it... there would be few things worse than not being able to remember such a special evening, or remembering some embarrassment because you were drunk.

If you could control your consumption I think you would have already...it seems like a risky throw of the dice to me.

If you have an embarrassing reputation (and a lot of us here did) why would your fiancee not understand why you quit?

D

Nonsensical

What does he say when you ask him?

Jharp

Thanks for your replies! He understands my desires to quit. We always have fun drinking together and it never ends in fights or anything like that. I just get to the point of wardrobe malfunctions, fall down drunk style.

Just really embarassing myself or can become argumentative in social settings. Im Beginning to really feel I shouldn't drink just typing this. I'd rather have no regrets for my wedding!

Hevyn

Jharp - you are very wise. If you have no 'off' switch (like me) there's no telling what might happen at the wedding. If you don't have it in your system - there is zero chance of a malfunction of any kind. I'm glad you're here.

Ariesagain

If you quit today think how much more rested and slender you'll look in the wedding photos...not to mention how much better you'll look not being drunk.

(Hey, vanity can be a great motivator!)

Dropsie

My Ex and I both decided not to drink before midnight at our wedding and it was the best thing we could have done.

So, stopping two weeks before and really enjoying the whole thing loud and proud for being totally present at the most important thing you will do until the little ones come along -- how great would that be.

Go for it, it will be MORE fun. He will totally understand when he sees how much fun you have -- real honest fun.

I wish you all the love and happiness.

jseattle

I am really impressed with your honestly and self awareness. You are probably right that if you keep drinking there is more shame and embarrassment in store, much more than there is pleasure from the drinking.

I married to a guy who likes to drink but doesn't need to and never loses control when he drinks. We enjoyed many years of drinking together while in the background my drinking got out of control and I fell into the shame spiral.

He has been 100% supportive. It helps me to be very honest with him. For example he went to a bar yesterday that served super fancy drinks, very expensive. I explained that for me that is just torture because I would want to down the drink and have more until I got a serious buzz. We treat my drinking as an allergy - I can't stop when I start so I don't start.

Just be aware that stopping is hard and often it is helpful or necessary to have sober support to get you through it.

Congratulations on realizing and accepting this about yourself so early in life.

Jharp

Wow Thank-you so much for the support again! We have been together for 10 years and have 2 small children so I'm not only wanting to quit for myself, but for them also.
I don't get much support in wanting to quit from friends and family as I seem to have a one off occasionally rotationnaly with the different groups we hang out with so I think to them it doesn't seem like I have a problem. Once I start I just can't stop. If I stick to 2 I can, but it's hard in a drinking setting.
I've quit for a month before and was really happy. I gave myself a month off, not to quit permanently. The funny thing was I wanted to continue and my friend who doesn't drink was encouraging me to have one at her party...go figure haha! But I know I can do it!

Soberwolf

You can do it and the support here will really help even if you don't feel like it realise none of these things will happen sober it will take time you have done it before so let that remind you of just how possible it really is

Best thing I've ever done was stop drinking

uncorked

The last thing you probably want is to get wasted at your own wedding, so I think you're very wise!

Dharma33

Hi, Jharp-

I think you sound very self- aware, too. Even if friends and family don't seem supportive, but you think your drinking is problematic, that's all that matters.

It's a pretty solid guarantee that you won't wake up after your wedding and wish you had drank! I think quitting now is a great plan. Enjoy your special day without regret!