Are you a "periodic?"
EndGame
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Are you a "periodic?"
Been reading about binge drinkers, high-functioning drinkers, controlled drinkers (or at least attempts to be one of these mythical creatures), and lots of other kinds of drinkers. These comments brought to the fore an experience I had when I first got sober in 1983.
At the time, several people identified themselves as "periodic drinkers." But if you wanted street cred or to add a heaping helping of the coolness factor, one would just say, "I'm a periodic." It was like some kind of official category of drinking that my beginner self thought I needed to memorize so as not to offend, but mostly so as not to appear as though I wasn't paying attention.
I didn't get it at first. I thought it might mean that there are people who speak at AA meetings who only show up a couple of times a year, and whose wisdom was both painfully missed and sorely needed. Like they get invited to special meetings so as to protect the rest of us against missing their inspirational messages. Like missing a live performances of the Rolling Stones. Or something.
I came to learn that 'periodic' could mean a number of things, depending on who it was who told you (often repeatedly) that they were among the Chosen. A binge drinker. Someone who got blasted every other weekend, like visitation rights for alcohol. Someone who didn't drink during Lent. Or Ramadan. Or Yom Kippur. Or Tuesdays. But it was essentially someone who didn't drink every day, and who also wanted everyone to know it. Not unlike the current "one-percenters," they were an elite branch of AA who "weren't as bad as everyone else," "didn't lose that much" and, most important, were not at all like "the rest of you." "How's Elizabeth doing these days?" "Oh, she's fine. She's a periodic." Or, "Why isn't anyone talking Patricia." And then, in hushed tones, "I heard the other girls say that she's a 'periodic.'"
It was as though not seeking or asking for help was part of the benefits package for being a periodic. An honor and a privilege. And maybe a scarlet letter as well.
One woman who I saw at my early meetings fairly regularly showed up to speak one night. It was only when she introduced herself as the speaker that I recalled I hadn't seen her for, I don't know, a long time. "Hi. My name is Godiva, and I'm a periodic." I had by that time taken in the whole Zeitgeist around periodicity, and felt my eyeballs, if not also my stomach, do a three-sixty. There may even have been some flesh crawling, but my memory dims.
Godiva went on to tell us how wonderful her life has been, how she didn't need to come to as many meetings as she used to because she's a periodic. She also mentioned that, since becoming a social worker, she didn't need AA as much because her profession kept her drinking in check, acknowledging as we all do that all you need is to read a few books, get a couple of letters after your name, and you receive an alcohol-proof certificate that doesn't expire until death do you part.
She seemed to have an air of superiority while speaking (Maybe projection on my part, but I don't care anymore. That was a long time ago.) Besides listing her accomplishments (I think there was a new boyfriend thrown in there), she said nothing of a personal nature, or anything helpful for someone new struggling with sobriety. She repeated how much her profession has helped her to come to know her "true self," and that helping her addicted patients also helped to keep her sober. Oh yeah...Not hanging out with (recovering) alcoholics also broadened her perspective and kept her sane. Much of this is, admittedly, perfectly fine.
Until...
I don't know if it was in the beginning, the middle or towards the end, but she quickly noted that she'd had four or five or more "slips" during the past few months, emphasizing how much she'd learned from each incident and how this has helped her to maintain long-term sobriety. In each case, it was "much less than I used to drink."
It's sometimes difficult to imagine what some people are thinking when they speak or when they put pen to paper to convey their thoughts. I wasn't at all as psychologically in tune as I am now, but my feelings let me know that something wasn't quite right with what this woman was saying, and it left and impression on me. One that I was happy to carry.
I never cared much about being labeled as an alcoholic, or what it means to other people. But I am often intrigued by how we describe ourselves (after all, I get paid for listening), and what those descriptions mean to us. And whether or not or how our descriptions are demonstrated in our behavior.
No moral to this story. Just sayin'.
At the time, several people identified themselves as "periodic drinkers." But if you wanted street cred or to add a heaping helping of the coolness factor, one would just say, "I'm a periodic." It was like some kind of official category of drinking that my beginner self thought I needed to memorize so as not to offend, but mostly so as not to appear as though I wasn't paying attention.
I didn't get it at first. I thought it might mean that there are people who speak at AA meetings who only show up a couple of times a year, and whose wisdom was both painfully missed and sorely needed. Like they get invited to special meetings so as to protect the rest of us against missing their inspirational messages. Like missing a live performances of the Rolling Stones. Or something.
I came to learn that 'periodic' could mean a number of things, depending on who it was who told you (often repeatedly) that they were among the Chosen. A binge drinker. Someone who got blasted every other weekend, like visitation rights for alcohol. Someone who didn't drink during Lent. Or Ramadan. Or Yom Kippur. Or Tuesdays. But it was essentially someone who didn't drink every day, and who also wanted everyone to know it. Not unlike the current "one-percenters," they were an elite branch of AA who "weren't as bad as everyone else," "didn't lose that much" and, most important, were not at all like "the rest of you." "How's Elizabeth doing these days?" "Oh, she's fine. She's a periodic." Or, "Why isn't anyone talking Patricia." And then, in hushed tones, "I heard the other girls say that she's a 'periodic.'"
It was as though not seeking or asking for help was part of the benefits package for being a periodic. An honor and a privilege. And maybe a scarlet letter as well.
One woman who I saw at my early meetings fairly regularly showed up to speak one night. It was only when she introduced herself as the speaker that I recalled I hadn't seen her for, I don't know, a long time. "Hi. My name is Godiva, and I'm a periodic." I had by that time taken in the whole Zeitgeist around periodicity, and felt my eyeballs, if not also my stomach, do a three-sixty. There may even have been some flesh crawling, but my memory dims.
Godiva went on to tell us how wonderful her life has been, how she didn't need to come to as many meetings as she used to because she's a periodic. She also mentioned that, since becoming a social worker, she didn't need AA as much because her profession kept her drinking in check, acknowledging as we all do that all you need is to read a few books, get a couple of letters after your name, and you receive an alcohol-proof certificate that doesn't expire until death do you part.
She seemed to have an air of superiority while speaking (Maybe projection on my part, but I don't care anymore. That was a long time ago.) Besides listing her accomplishments (I think there was a new boyfriend thrown in there), she said nothing of a personal nature, or anything helpful for someone new struggling with sobriety. She repeated how much her profession has helped her to come to know her "true self," and that helping her addicted patients also helped to keep her sober. Oh yeah...Not hanging out with (recovering) alcoholics also broadened her perspective and kept her sane. Much of this is, admittedly, perfectly fine.
Until...
I don't know if it was in the beginning, the middle or towards the end, but she quickly noted that she'd had four or five or more "slips" during the past few months, emphasizing how much she'd learned from each incident and how this has helped her to maintain long-term sobriety. In each case, it was "much less than I used to drink."
It's sometimes difficult to imagine what some people are thinking when they speak or when they put pen to paper to convey their thoughts. I wasn't at all as psychologically in tune as I am now, but my feelings let me know that something wasn't quite right with what this woman was saying, and it left and impression on me. One that I was happy to carry.
I never cared much about being labeled as an alcoholic, or what it means to other people. But I am often intrigued by how we describe ourselves (after all, I get paid for listening), and what those descriptions mean to us. And whether or not or how our descriptions are demonstrated in our behavior.
No moral to this story. Just sayin'.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 6
Great piece!
I call myawlf an alcoholic. Just to my friends and in AA. It was a release to say those words. I didnt need to hide anymore. Im only 30 days in, and its been hard especially in the nights but ill keep doing it.
I think people like to think they are in control of it. I think if u have an addictive personality it comes out anyway! Sounds like that lady liked the idea of a new identity and good luck to her but it dont half make u eye rolly sometimes 🙄😁
I call myawlf an alcoholic. Just to my friends and in AA. It was a release to say those words. I didnt need to hide anymore. Im only 30 days in, and its been hard especially in the nights but ill keep doing it.
I think people like to think they are in control of it. I think if u have an addictive personality it comes out anyway! Sounds like that lady liked the idea of a new identity and good luck to her but it dont half make u eye rolly sometimes 🙄😁
EndGame
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Spacegoat 
Maybe she only drank on her period? Makes sense 
Ya see...now this is why we shouldn't rush to judgment. Thirty three years later, and mystery solved!
:
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I personally think she was in strong denial, and wasn't ready to admit that she was an alcoholic.
It can be a very painful process of coming to the conclusion that you're an alcoholic. It's fine once you've come to accept it, but considering she was saying how well she had it controlled and tried to bring up how successful she was with everything else, it suggests otherwise.
It can be a very painful process of coming to the conclusion that you're an alcoholic. It's fine once you've come to accept it, but considering she was saying how well she had it controlled and tried to bring up how successful she was with everything else, it suggests otherwise.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Ya see...now this is why we shouldn't rush to judgment. Thirty three years later, and mystery solved! :
:As strategy said though why is it so difficult to accept? (fear of) a loss of control, perhaps?
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by strategery
I personally think she was in strong denial, and wasn't ready to admit that she was an alcoholic.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Originally Posted by Spacegoat
I came into the world almost 33 years ago and always knew I had a contribution to make.
As strategy said though why is it so difficult to accept? (fear of) a loss of control, perhaps?
As strategy said though why is it so difficult to accept? (fear of) a loss of control, perhaps?
It was also removing a source of comfort, what I thought was happiness, and stress relief. For many years, I used the excuse, "well I do this and that and this," so I can't have a problem with alcohol. However, I had never had much success in trying to quit either.
Part of it, was that I wasn't sure as to how about to go about getting sober, which was scary in itself. There was also the fear of what happens if I can't get sobriety right? I didn't want to become my uncle.
So it was a very painful process for me to go through to admit I was an alcoholic. However, by doing so, I've also been able to take my power back. Life without alcohol is pretty awesome.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Oh the irony.
Here's the definition of periodic from Webster:
pe·ri·od·ic
ˌpirēˈädik/
adjective
1. appearing or occurring at intervals.
Now think about this for a minute, doesn't that describe any person on this board regardless of whether it's one hour, one day, only weekends, etc etc?
The lengths that we'll go to in order to miminalize the problem
Here's the definition of periodic from Webster:
pe·ri·od·ic
ˌpirēˈädik/
adjective
1. appearing or occurring at intervals.
Now think about this for a minute, doesn't that describe any person on this board regardless of whether it's one hour, one day, only weekends, etc etc?
The lengths that we'll go to in order to miminalize the problem
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
Oh the irony.
The lengths that we'll go to in order to miminalize the problem
The lengths that we'll go to in order to miminalize the problem
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I've seen this thread on the new posts part and finally clicked on it because I was curious- never heard this term and am a little fascinated by the original post. Now I'm going to have to see if this floats around my meeting groups...
EndGame
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by August252015
I've seen this thread on the new posts part and finally clicked on it because I was curious- never heard this term and am a little fascinated by the original post. Now I'm going to have to see if this floats around my meeting groups...
My theory is that it faded under the weight of all the surplus, pejorative meaning that it accumulated over time. It evolved into a divisive term that suggested a superficial hierarchy within the several different meetings I attended in NYC.
"I'm-not-as-bad-as-the rest-you" or, worse, "I'm-better-than-the-rest-of-you" alcoholics seemed to have a more difficult time of it than the rest of us.
Good riddance.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Im getting close to the four month mark, and it is starting to sink in that I need a group of some kind. I know you are presenting an old term (periodic), but I was hoping that kind of social posturing didnt exist in AA - that kind of thing is one of the reasons I am not social to begin with.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Lots of AA meetings in 3 different states and I never heard anyone use that term....at least not in a share.
I am a 'bender' drinker....I guess that's a bit like periodic. It morphed into that. I think its because I'm always trying to quit....so I have periods (months to even years) of abstinence marked by catastrophic benders. I am by no means justifying anything. As a matter of fact, I find it difficult to find people who are as sick as I am (I win, I win
). My drinking is the definition of insanity.
Geez where are all the periodic drinkers when I need em
I am a 'bender' drinker....I guess that's a bit like periodic. It morphed into that. I think its because I'm always trying to quit....so I have periods (months to even years) of abstinence marked by catastrophic benders. I am by no means justifying anything. As a matter of fact, I find it difficult to find people who are as sick as I am (I win, I win
). My drinking is the definition of insanity.Geez where are all the periodic drinkers when I need em
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
I knew of my grandmother as a "periodic" in that she'd go on a binge/bender/tear once or twice a year. Or so I was told; once I learned that, a lot of things regarding her when I was little made sense.
However, when I made it to AA, I never heard of it as being anything better or worse than any other common drunk. I know some crusty old-timers years back used to brag about spilling more that some others drank, but I haven't heard much of that kind of talk at all lately.
However, when I made it to AA, I never heard of it as being anything better or worse than any other common drunk. I know some crusty old-timers years back used to brag about spilling more that some others drank, but I haven't heard much of that kind of talk at all lately.
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