Trying to get through it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 13
Trying to get through it
Newbie here. First post. I'm in my early 30''s and habe been an alcoholic for 10 years. My first day of sobriety was 6-27. I'm working on day 6 today. I was drinking a pint of vodka a night. Sometimes I would switch it up and drink a whole bottle of red wine. If I was ever sober for a day it was because I was too hungover or weak to go to the liquor store. I needed to make a change in my life because I'm getting older and I've realized that I completely wasted my 20's getting wasted.
I had horrible hot flashes, anxiety, sweating (withdrawal stench, gross!), headaches, upset tummy, shakiness, headaches, mild hullicinations, itching, weakness etc. The usual stuff. I feel a bit better today. I've been on multivitamins, magnesium, zinc, vitamin b supplements and I feel like they're giving me some strength. I've worn my body out for too many years.
I've quit before (made it 30 days before total relapse) but that was over 6 years ago. Back to square 1. I still feel a little rotten today (dehydrated no matter how much water/juice I drink, fatigue, brain fog, headache) but I feel much better today than the previous days. I even feel a little happier. I have some beer and wine in my kitchen and it's presence isn't bothering me at the moment.
Any words of advice? Sadly I won't get out much this weekend because my body doesn't feel up to it quite yet and I know I'd want a beer at least (or 10) since it is a holiday 3 day weekend. Any good books or movies that people like me can relate to? Any good alcohol memoirs? I might work up the strength to go to the bookstore if I do go out. I'm determined to get my life right this time around. Thank you for reading.
I had horrible hot flashes, anxiety, sweating (withdrawal stench, gross!), headaches, upset tummy, shakiness, headaches, mild hullicinations, itching, weakness etc. The usual stuff. I feel a bit better today. I've been on multivitamins, magnesium, zinc, vitamin b supplements and I feel like they're giving me some strength. I've worn my body out for too many years.
I've quit before (made it 30 days before total relapse) but that was over 6 years ago. Back to square 1. I still feel a little rotten today (dehydrated no matter how much water/juice I drink, fatigue, brain fog, headache) but I feel much better today than the previous days. I even feel a little happier. I have some beer and wine in my kitchen and it's presence isn't bothering me at the moment.
Any words of advice? Sadly I won't get out much this weekend because my body doesn't feel up to it quite yet and I know I'd want a beer at least (or 10) since it is a holiday 3 day weekend. Any good books or movies that people like me can relate to? Any good alcohol memoirs? I might work up the strength to go to the bookstore if I do go out. I'm determined to get my life right this time around. Thank you for reading.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 254
I absolutely loved the book 'Dry' by Augusten Burroughs and 'Blackout' by Sarah Hepola. Any of them are pretty great.
The movie When A Man Loves A Woman and The Lost Weekend are some of my favorites. A ton of stuff on youtube also.
Hang in there.
The movie When A Man Loves A Woman and The Lost Weekend are some of my favorites. A ton of stuff on youtube also.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 98
Welcome and congratulations on realizing your addiction before it is too late. My experience is that the first few weeks will just suck and your body will be out of synch. Your only job is to not drink. In terms it gets better. Do you have any sober support? Medical support?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 13
Thank you for the responses and welcome. I feel like I'm wasting a perfectly good 4th of July weekend by staying couped up insidea all weekend, but hey there might not be a other 4th next year if I do not clean up now so I just need to watch movies/read to stay entertained all weekend so I don't do anything I shouldn't.
I don't have any real support in terms of a counselor. Friends are supportive, but I don't have anyone close to me who has the same issue. I'm not one to sit in meetings, but I wouldn't mind a sponsor or someone to check in with me often to keep me guided. I'll definitely consider that since they can offer useful advice.
I'm not seeking medical treatment either. I feel like the worst is over in terms of the withdrawl. It''s still no picnic, but I think it's all uphill from here.
I don't have any real support in terms of a counselor. Friends are supportive, but I don't have anyone close to me who has the same issue. I'm not one to sit in meetings, but I wouldn't mind a sponsor or someone to check in with me often to keep me guided. I'll definitely consider that since they can offer useful advice.
I'm not seeking medical treatment either. I feel like the worst is over in terms of the withdrawl. It''s still no picnic, but I think it's all uphill from here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 202
Welcome Sober627! You will find a lot of great support here. I would recommend joining the July class thread here. I am a member of the June class and it has been tremendously helpful. 
Also, think back to what worked for you in the 30 days that you did have and try to implement those things into your plan. Having a plan is huge.
I agree with jseattle, sober support is also huge. I have read and posted here everyday. You may also want to look into AA or SMART Recovery meetings for support.
For now, just take it one day at a time. It will get easier. Hang in there
Also, think back to what worked for you in the 30 days that you did have and try to implement those things into your plan. Having a plan is huge. I agree with jseattle, sober support is also huge. I have read and posted here everyday. You may also want to look into AA or SMART Recovery meetings for support.
For now, just take it one day at a time. It will get easier. Hang in there
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 98
I hope you meant downhill! Getting sober alone with no support is hard. Not impossible but hard. Maybe you can fill some time perusing this board, smart recovery in line, and even AA and also looking for options in your area of doing it alone gets too hard.
Detoxing alone is pretty dangerous - glad you are okay.
I detoxed myself too but then went into an outpatient addiction program. It got me through 2+ months of ups and downs, providing accountability, friendship (I was so lucky with the group of fellow addicts in my program) and medical support, including a psychiatrist who helped find the right combo of meds to help me function well. Most help was getting tools to deal w cravings and to fill the vacuum left by sobriety.
Anyway you can find much of the same support on line and I really encourage you to reach out and really learn about your illness and the pathology of addiction. Information is power.
I am almost 50 and can't believe i wasted so much of my life seeking oblivion. You are lucky to be so aware and honest so young.
Detoxing alone is pretty dangerous - glad you are okay.
I detoxed myself too but then went into an outpatient addiction program. It got me through 2+ months of ups and downs, providing accountability, friendship (I was so lucky with the group of fellow addicts in my program) and medical support, including a psychiatrist who helped find the right combo of meds to help me function well. Most help was getting tools to deal w cravings and to fill the vacuum left by sobriety.
Anyway you can find much of the same support on line and I really encourage you to reach out and really learn about your illness and the pathology of addiction. Information is power.
I am almost 50 and can't believe i wasted so much of my life seeking oblivion. You are lucky to be so aware and honest so young.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Welcome to the family. Yes, at six days sober you should be done with the physical withdrawal. Now comes the mental part of it.
I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.
Yes, at six days sober you should be done with the physical withdrawal. Now comes the mental part of it. I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Sobriety date 7/15/2015
Posts: 13,350
Good you're avoiding the alcohol. Better to not think about it. I'm not one to touch or open booze and dump it down the sink or toilet because of the smell and once to top is off it could be too late. Just the feel of the bottle would do it for me. Hanging out here is good...helping others and getting support. Also on a positive side think about/write down all the things to look forward to in the future...even things like good liver..no DUI..you know benefits. It's only 3 days. You can do it 3 days and more. Happy 4th !
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
We have a great book list from all our members:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ependence.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ependence.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 13
Thank you so much everyone! I'm glad I joined and I'm glad I can finally open up about this (only a few friends know and I'm good at hiding it like I'm sure you all once were).
My goal this weekend is to relax. I was at work all last week during my withdraws. It was miserable. I was so anxious and sweaty while everyone else was conformable. It increased my anxiety hoping they wouldn't notice that I was quietly going insane hiding behind my computer screen. I'm going to eat until my hearts content (after all it is a holiday weekend!) And start yoga/meditation/eating clean next week. I just need a few more days to heal physically then I really want to start talking care of my body like I should have all along.
Following that, hopefully late next week or beginning of the week after I'm going to start getting back in shape. I gained 50 lbs from drinking, being lazy, and eating terrible. I have anxiety too so I think sweating it out and getting stronger will help with the anxiety and confidence level. Working out is what I'm really looking forward to. As soon as my body agrees with me I'm starting. Working out is what helped me the first time around staying sober. I would feel guilty if I wasted my calories on booze so I stopped drinking. I'm sure it'll help me again this time around.
I wish I could pour the stuff out, trust me I do, but I agree that the smell of it might trigger me so I'll hold off for awhile. One day I'll have the ceremony though :-).
I looked up a few smart meetings in my area. I'll consider attending. I like their concept better than AA so I feel it would work out best for me.
I'm looking forward to a fresh new start! I too am glad I'm trying to tackle the issue while I'm still fairly young. I've been reading other great threads on this website so I know what to look forward to. I will certainly join July's class. Thank you for the love!
My goal this weekend is to relax. I was at work all last week during my withdraws. It was miserable. I was so anxious and sweaty while everyone else was conformable. It increased my anxiety hoping they wouldn't notice that I was quietly going insane hiding behind my computer screen. I'm going to eat until my hearts content (after all it is a holiday weekend!) And start yoga/meditation/eating clean next week. I just need a few more days to heal physically then I really want to start talking care of my body like I should have all along.
Following that, hopefully late next week or beginning of the week after I'm going to start getting back in shape. I gained 50 lbs from drinking, being lazy, and eating terrible. I have anxiety too so I think sweating it out and getting stronger will help with the anxiety and confidence level. Working out is what I'm really looking forward to. As soon as my body agrees with me I'm starting. Working out is what helped me the first time around staying sober. I would feel guilty if I wasted my calories on booze so I stopped drinking. I'm sure it'll help me again this time around.
I wish I could pour the stuff out, trust me I do, but I agree that the smell of it might trigger me so I'll hold off for awhile. One day I'll have the ceremony though :-).
I looked up a few smart meetings in my area. I'll consider attending. I like their concept better than AA so I feel it would work out best for me.
I'm looking forward to a fresh new start! I too am glad I'm trying to tackle the issue while I'm still fairly young. I've been reading other great threads on this website so I know what to look forward to. I will certainly join July's class. Thank you for the love!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Sober - great to meet you - I love your attitude.
What I wouldn't give to go back & quit in my 30's. I never imagined it would take over my life the way it did. In the end, I didn't make a move without it. I'm happy you're with us - you're never alone.
What I wouldn't give to go back & quit in my 30's. I never imagined it would take over my life the way it did. In the end, I didn't make a move without it. I'm happy you're with us - you're never alone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Rotherham
Posts: 37
Hi
Nice to meet you and welcome - I'm pretty new here myself and just turned 30 and time to ditch the damn drink!
I'm doing a community based recovery program at the minute, and within that there are SMART meetings - I can't recommend them enough. AA wasn't for me (tried it the first time I tried getting sober) but SMART seems to click a lot better. If you can get to any meetings or groups, I strongly advocate going. Not only does it provide you with excellent coping strategies, it's also great for boosting your self esteem and meeting others in a similar situation to yourself. I've found that invaluable as I've spent years feeling like the worst person on this planet (which only served to feed the habit).
I hope you have a good weekend and just take some time to do things you enjoy - nothing wrong with chilling with a good book, some movies and some good food. Feeding your body is really important too, because like most of us, it will have been through the mill.
I think you mentioned that you'd detoxed yourself - well done, but it can be hard physically. Do you take any supplements? I know I take thiamine (vit B1) due to the damage of alcohol so it might be worth checking this with your doctor, but it is something readily available and well worth taking as you'll probably be deficient if you've been drinking alcohol in some quantity.
Well done for 6 days sober - I'm the same. It's not easy and unless you've been there and done it, it's really hard for others to understand.
Take care
Nice to meet you and welcome - I'm pretty new here myself and just turned 30 and time to ditch the damn drink!
I'm doing a community based recovery program at the minute, and within that there are SMART meetings - I can't recommend them enough. AA wasn't for me (tried it the first time I tried getting sober) but SMART seems to click a lot better. If you can get to any meetings or groups, I strongly advocate going. Not only does it provide you with excellent coping strategies, it's also great for boosting your self esteem and meeting others in a similar situation to yourself. I've found that invaluable as I've spent years feeling like the worst person on this planet (which only served to feed the habit).
I hope you have a good weekend and just take some time to do things you enjoy - nothing wrong with chilling with a good book, some movies and some good food. Feeding your body is really important too, because like most of us, it will have been through the mill.
I think you mentioned that you'd detoxed yourself - well done, but it can be hard physically. Do you take any supplements? I know I take thiamine (vit B1) due to the damage of alcohol so it might be worth checking this with your doctor, but it is something readily available and well worth taking as you'll probably be deficient if you've been drinking alcohol in some quantity.
Well done for 6 days sober - I'm the same. It's not easy and unless you've been there and done it, it's really hard for others to understand.
Take care
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Hi and welcome sober 627
I hope you'll check out our Class of July support thread - lots of support there from people at more or less the same point as you - all you need to do to join is post in it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-3.html
I also recommend recovery plans. This link explains what they are and can help you work out what yours might look like
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-3.html
D
I hope you'll check out our Class of July support thread - lots of support there from people at more or less the same point as you - all you need to do to join is post in it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-3.html
I also recommend recovery plans. This link explains what they are and can help you work out what yours might look like
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-3.html
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Welcome to SR!! I agree that joining the July class would be helpful. I have been a member of several classes, and I finally got it right this January. I just hit the six month milestone, and SR, especially my January class were my biggest supports.
I also gained weight while drinking. I have lost 32 pounds since January, I still need to lose another 10-15, but I am much happier with how I feel and look.
I wish I had stopped in my 30s. I am 45, and it would have been nice to have ten years of sober time under my belt. You are smart to stop now.
Looking forward to seeing you on SR.
As for books: Blackout, Drinking: A Love Story, and Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife are three of my favorites.
I also gained weight while drinking. I have lost 32 pounds since January, I still need to lose another 10-15, but I am much happier with how I feel and look.
I wish I had stopped in my 30s. I am 45, and it would have been nice to have ten years of sober time under my belt. You are smart to stop now.
Looking forward to seeing you on SR.
As for books: Blackout, Drinking: A Love Story, and Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife are three of my favorites.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 13
Congrats on all of your sobriety as well. We can get there together. I'm going to find a meeting near me next week and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out at least I tried and I'll definitely still stick with my sobriety. And hey at least I have all of you! :-)
My father was an alcoholic from college until 3 years before his death. He drank himself to death. Cause of death was respiratory failure/congestive heart failure. He was in and out of the hospital and on dialysis the final years of his death. I was an alcoholic before his death, but following his death I was severe depressed and went into a tailspin. I do not want to die like him and I know he wouldn't want that either. It was a lonely, slow, painful death that we both experienced together since I was the main person visiting all of the time. I have to get this going now before I end up sick like him in my 50's.
I'm currently taking a women's multivitamin (it's a standard multivitamin), calcium/magnesium/zinc pills (2x daily), and a b complex vitamin (1x daily). The last one has every b vitamin in it. I heard amino acids help with the depression so I might look into that.
I had muscle aches and a headache a few hours and just discovered the magic of a warm bath and camomile tea. I have to do that more often. It helped relax me. I'm in a mild depressive stage right now (some crying spells for no reason), but I'm happy it's not serious yet. I'll also purchase some melatonin this week. Heard it works wonders. The valerian makes me groggy. Hopefully I'll get off of all these suppliments in a month or so. No fun taking 5 pills a day, but I brought this on myself so I have to make it right.
My father was an alcoholic from college until 3 years before his death. He drank himself to death. Cause of death was respiratory failure/congestive heart failure. He was in and out of the hospital and on dialysis the final years of his death. I was an alcoholic before his death, but following his death I was severe depressed and went into a tailspin. I do not want to die like him and I know he wouldn't want that either. It was a lonely, slow, painful death that we both experienced together since I was the main person visiting all of the time. I have to get this going now before I end up sick like him in my 50's.
I'm currently taking a women's multivitamin (it's a standard multivitamin), calcium/magnesium/zinc pills (2x daily), and a b complex vitamin (1x daily). The last one has every b vitamin in it. I heard amino acids help with the depression so I might look into that.
I had muscle aches and a headache a few hours and just discovered the magic of a warm bath and camomile tea. I have to do that more often. It helped relax me. I'm in a mild depressive stage right now (some crying spells for no reason), but I'm happy it's not serious yet. I'll also purchase some melatonin this week. Heard it works wonders. The valerian makes me groggy. Hopefully I'll get off of all these suppliments in a month or so. No fun taking 5 pills a day, but I brought this on myself so I have to make it right.
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