Kevin78

After 16 Months of doing good, and going to meetings, the obsessional thoughts came back a few days ago. I bought a box of beer last night and had 8.
I never lifted the phone until it was too late. I feel like sh*t today. Not a good feeling to have. Sickness and runs. Needless to say, I don't want anymore, I was lucky. Immediate family were told, but I start day 1 again.
I suppose I am excited about going on Holiday on Monday., and maybe that was a factor.

I just wanted to get that out there.

Jeni26

Oh I'm sorry to hear that Kevin. It is really important what you do right now to make sure this doesn't end up a full blown slide back into drinking...

What are your plans?

LadyBlue0527

Kevin, I am so glad you came here and posted.

I had 17 months of a great life and went back out. I would give back every drink I had if I could change what happened that led me back here.

You came back here after one day. You learned how good it can be in that 16 months, you can do this and you know it. You also know the outcome of what drinking felt like due to how you feel now. Not worth it!

You're back in the saddle and that's what's most important!

Trees39

Kevin you are an absolute superhero to me and an inspiration.
Have a good day and be super kind to yourself.

Kevin78

Thanks everyone.

I plan to continue doing what I have been doing, and more. I feel ill today and that's the best outcome of this for me. There are plenty of meetings available, I got no excuse for not goung . Just gonna put this down as a blip and learn from it.

Soberwolf

Welcome back Kevin

Zebra1275

Welcome back, some people go back out and never make it back.

Try to learn from this, and put preventive steps in place to keep it from re-occuring.

This is why I don't count sober days. You had around 500 days and now you are back at one. That can be depressing if you let it, so don't. I used to count days and got over 2000, then I screwed up. Now I've got well over 2000 days again, but it doesn't matter to me. The only day that is important is Today.

ZenLifter

Appreciate your honesty, Kevin. Glad it's just a slip and not a full blown relapse. Reminds all of us to stay vigilant in our recovery.

Dee74

Welcome back Kevin

Have you thought about what the 'more' bit might entail?

D

uncorked

Hi Kevin, don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure it made you remember why you quit in the first place! I agree with Zen about not starting from Day 1 again/counting days. That would be depressing! You had a lot of sobriety there, just pick up where you left off.

Delilah1

Welcome back Kevin!! Sixteen months is quite an impressive amount of sober time, sounds like you had a good plan in place and you know what you need to add to it.

Good for you for coming back here right away today, I have made the mistake in the past of not posting after I have slipped, and the drinking continues beyond that one time.

Onward and upward for you!

Kaily

So sorry that pesky AV came calling but glad you have shown it the exit, make sure you bolt the door!

MariahGayle

You still have that 16 months Kevin & great that you are posting & ready to add to your sobriety! Onward!!

dwtbd

Blips are seemingly innocuous,little things, they happen so whatevs.
Maybe change the consideration here and call it a blab , learn 'from' it yeah of course that would help, not that there is much to learn after , maybe focus on what you might learn about "the few days of thoughts" and planning on and acting on to go to the store for a box. That's a blab

But great job putting the brakes on , seriously, rooting for ya, glad the feeling like shite helps, hope that improves and you enjoy a good healthy holiday

MrSmith

Wow 16 months is awesome, but to hear that you are still battling it sometimes, or at least this time is very eye opening and a bit scary for me. I have 298 days sober, and I feel very confident about things, but I guess your story is can serve as a great reminder that we always have be be vigilant, and not put ourselves in situations that could prove to be dangerous to our sobriety.

Thanks for posting, and make sure that you forgive yourself, The pity party that could come from slipping could also create more cravings. You know what to do....you've got this.

GnikNus

There must be something about the year and a half mark that causes relapse, because it feels like we've read several stories lately of people slipping or relapsing at around 18 months.
You haven't lost those 16 months. You never can. As long as you don't pick up another drink, you will be able to continue on. The important part will not be feeling justified in picking a drink - "might as well have another now," or something along those lines.

thomas11

Sorry to hear Kevin, but you know what it takes to get sober so I'm sure you can get back on the horse. Obviously complete sobriety is the goal, but 8 beers in 16 months is better than most.

JimmyJam

So your AV got you once. It is done and over. You are back and sober where you belong😊

leviathan

You drank. You now feel ill.

Absolute proof there's nothing there for you now.

I break my last sick memories out every time I feel "itchy".

Obviously its not ideal that you picked up but, I commend you for dealing with it like you did. That whole "going on a bender" thing isn't a necessary part of a slip. I wish more people would remember that.