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First big "party" concert sober....

Old 07-01-2016, 04:45 PM
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First big "party" concert sober....

I Love music and concerts were always my favorite things to plan and go to with friends. and a reason to party. One of my favorite bands is Phish, somewhay known for the decadence at their shows, which I took a great deal of enjoyment in in the 25 or so shows I went to back in theday. However I love the music just as much sober (see screenname ) I'm travelling to NY to see them tomorrow and its my first big show in years. I'll be with my brother (another big fan and my best friend) for the weekend. I'm not nervous about drinking/drugging, just being around so much of it, and getting cravings for getting home. Stoked for the show but a bit nervous.

Any thoughts, advice, etc?
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Old 07-01-2016, 06:43 PM
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have an escape route.
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Old 07-01-2016, 08:42 PM
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Can't really do that tomsteve, 4 hours from home, and despite the anxiety about being in a party, I want to see the show
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Old 07-01-2016, 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by phlowing View Post
Can't really do that tomsteve, 4 hours from home, and despite the anxiety about being in a party, I want to see the show
THen be prepared to be stubborn as a mule when it comes to drugs and alcohol and focus on the reason you are there. To absorb their musical talent. Wish you the best of luck.

side note: I had to 86" music from my life. Major trigger and not drinking is more important than "tunes".
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Old 07-01-2016, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by phlowing View Post
I Love music and concerts were always my favorite things to plan and go to with friends. and a reason to party. One of my favorite bands is Phish, somewhay known for the decadence at their shows, which I took a great deal of enjoyment in in the 25 or so shows I went to back in theday. However I love the music just as much sober (see screenname ) I'm travelling to NY to see them tomorrow and its my first big show in years. I'll be with my brother (another big fan and my best friend) for the weekend. I'm not nervous about drinking/drugging, just being around so much of it, and getting cravings for getting home. Stoked for the show but a bit nervous.

Any thoughts, advice, etc?
Good luck. I bought tickets for one of my favorite bands (they are playing at a festival, so it's not full blown). Sadly enough, I'd forgotten I'd bought them, to be honest until a reminder popped up. Now I remember, but of course, was drunk when I bought them. Though I don't want to drink and I don't feel the temptation, I really thought I'd be going under different circumstances and that I would b drinking , etc. I guess I'm mourning the loss of what I thought would be. Does that make any sense? Thought I would be buzzed, singing along, eating good food (though, I wasn't eating at the end anymore, so I guess I would have been eating nothing and sipping a fifth from my purse, or "water bottle" and drinking beer in the public eye.
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Old 07-01-2016, 09:16 PM
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I hope so so much you have fun! "Jam" bands and the festie circuit has been a huge part of my life as well. Im 5 months sober right now and I am thinking of attempting a Panic show in September. I still listen the music at home without getting triggered and still enjoy it all so much. I am really hoping I dont have to give up this part of my life. There are recovery communities at the shows, with meeting at set break... I know Panic has the Gateway and Dead has the Wharfrats. Cant remember what Phish's recovery community is called. Look for the yellow balloons. That is where you will find other sober heads. Good luck and please report back.
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Old 07-01-2016, 09:28 PM
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Bring someone in recovery with you, let everyone you are with know you are in recovery, let at least one person in recovery know where you are going, have someone in recovery "on call" when you are there so you can call them, have an escape route and leave before you use, not after.

What are you doing for a recovery plan in general?
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Old 07-01-2016, 09:37 PM
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Its called the Phellowship.

On another note, I wanted to add that I believe (I am truly truly hoping) that sober shows are going to be WAY better than the drunken drugged debauchery I used to experience. The hangovers were getting to be sooo bad. I saw Phish at Merriweather last year and couldnt even keep any food down for 2 days after that weekend. Not worth it... the substances that is.... the music is worth it. Sober, we are going to get a chance to really notice all the nuance, remember a setlist, not spend crazy amounts of money on cab fare, and actually be able to function after a concert.
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Old 07-02-2016, 04:28 AM
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Originally Posted by phlowing View Post
Can't really do that tomsteve, 4 hours from home, and despite the anxiety about being in a party, I want to see the show

let us know how it goes.

personally my sobriety is more important than a concert, especially if ive seen the band many times before.

and yes, I understand. I was a ted nugent freak in the 80's and cant say how many times ive seen him in concert.
but then I got sober and my perspectives changed.
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Old 07-02-2016, 04:46 AM
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This can be a double edge sword but seeing how stupid drunk people act (and yes I was definitely one of them.) while you are sober can be illuminating and help your resolve.

Enjoy the show.!
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Old 07-02-2016, 04:54 AM
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Thanks for all you're varied responses. My brother is one of my biggest supports and he is meeting me there (Im coming from NH, him Cleveland). He may have a few beers. however he doesn't drink/drug to any extreme since he became a father and would not around me. Big support. I can't "86" music...it's something I enjoy in sobriety.
I stoke to jump in the car and have an adventure today, enjoy the music, look for the Phellowship table. If it's too much, I wont go next time. Thanks all have a great sober weekend
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Old 07-02-2016, 04:58 AM
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Are you bringing your cell phone? Because we'll all be there in your pocket with you! Post if you feel you need to.

I've attended concerts sober even when I was actively drinking because, well, I didn't want to waste the money that I paid not fully experiencing what I went there for. I'm a huge RUSH fan and I wanted to hear every word, note, and drum beat. Being under the influence would have deadened the experience.

It's a world of difference attending a concert sober. Go and have a great time and remember, we are there with you!
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Old 07-02-2016, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
let us know how it goes.

personally my sobriety is more important than a concert, especially if ive seen the band many times before.

and yes, I understand. I was a ted nugent freak in the 80's and cant say how many times ive seen him in concert.
but then I got sober and my perspectives changed.
I took TomSteve's comment as a "go outside the concert area" thing. That, I bet, you can do - if the stimulation or whatever negative, self-pitying ("why can't I party too, d*mmit?!") etc thoughts start.

If your brother is a big support (I assume he knows about your sobriety if he is your best friend?) then stick VERY close to him! Like you would a boyfriend

Enjoy the show- go armed with real water bottles, eat/snack (take that, too, whatever fits in a bag that you would like to carry) - if you can't take stuff in (bags are checked, whatever, like a lot of places do these days) then spring for buying stuff!!

I don't do crowds, never did very often unless with my big Panic fans (some fun NYEs there! I didn't run as much with a Phish crowd) and I definitely don't do "stimulation" sitchs now.

Do you have someone sober you can step out to call, or at least text? My sponsor told me about her first big outing and she and HER sponsor worked out that keeping in touch would be a BIG part of getting her through that event sober.

Good luck - stay strong with your plan.
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Old 07-02-2016, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Turtle76 View Post
Its called the Phellowship.

On another note, I wanted to add that I believe (I am truly truly hoping) that sober shows are going to be WAY better than the drunken drugged debauchery I used to experience. The hangovers were getting to be sooo bad. I saw Phish at Merriweather last year and couldnt even keep any food down for 2 days after that weekend. Not worth it... the substances that is.... the music is worth it. Sober, we are going to get a chance to really notice all the nuance, remember a setlist, not spend crazy amounts of money on cab fare, and actually be able to function after a concert.
Someone in my IOP group (after last year's milder stint in the hospital) said she went to the Taylor Swift show. She was in the 800 dollar section. She said one woman (next to her) was with her boyfriend/husband/whomever. She was wasted and practically laying on his shoulder the whole time, slurring her speech and getting up to use the bathroom. I'm sure she remembers nothing. What a waste of money. Think of it that way. Have fun.
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Old 07-02-2016, 08:19 AM
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I've struggled with this one myself, as I am a huge music fan. In the past, drinking at shows would go without saying. It's a big difference sober. I've had to accept that that part of the experience is gone. It's difficult, but there are advantages. I remember every live show, so that's a big one. I go and have a nice meal and a coffee before the show. The best part is waking up the next morning knowing that sobriety has not been compromised.

Be sure to eat plenty when you're there. That will lessen the chances of cravings. Take or buy plenty of treats like sweets, good food, etc. So you'll have something to enjoy/ heighten the experience. Pull up SR before, during and after. And if you think that your sobriety won't survive the concert experience, don't go.
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Old 07-02-2016, 09:17 AM
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
I took TomSteve's comment as a "go outside the concert area" thing. That, I bet, you can do - if the stimulation or whatever negative, self-pitying ("why can't I party too, d*mmit?!") etc thoughts start.

exactly. escape routes don't necessarily mean leaving the concert.
it would sure suck to end up next to a group of people smoking dope and drinkin like fish during the concert. id have to go somewhere, even with a few years sober.
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Old 07-02-2016, 07:05 PM
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At set break, perfect summer night, great tunes, enjoying the hell out of this strawberry lemonade. Thanks for the replies more thoughts later
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Old 07-02-2016, 07:13 PM
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Spac?
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Old 07-02-2016, 08:41 PM
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Originally Posted by phlowing View Post
At set break, perfect summer night, great tunes, enjoying the hell out of this strawberry lemonade. Thanks for the replies more thoughts later
So happy to hear this!!! 😁
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Old 07-03-2016, 04:45 AM
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Was happy to see your last reply!

How was the concert?
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