July 4th sober weekend plan!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
July 4th sober weekend plan!
A lot of people will be faced with difficult situations this weekend.
This link is about Thanksgiving but I think it applies equally well to July 4th.
Feel free to add any other tips here. Let's make this a sober weekend 
D
This link is about Thanksgiving but I think it applies equally well to July 4th.
Thanksgiving Survival Guide
- Thanksgiving is two days away. Holidays can be difficult for sober people, or people struggling to get or stay sober.
- Now is a good time to prepare.
- We thought we'd share some tips. You can not only survive Thanksgiving, you can enjoy it. All you need to do is plan ahead. Please add your own in the comments below; this is by no means a comprehensive list.
- Think ahead. Is it hard for you to be around alcohol? Be honest with yourself. Now is not a time for heroics. Keep your expectations realistic: if it is going to be too difficult, maybe this year is a time to do something different for Thanksgiving. Don't set yourself up to fail. You can spend a quiet time at home watching movies or hanging out with other friends, volunteer at a shelter serving food, or go to a meeting instead.
- Thanksgiving is usually about family. If there are people in your family who trigger you, be ready. You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to .. plan what you'll say or do if someone gives you a hard time.
- Have safe people to call - program their numbers into your phone in advance, and tell them you're going to call if things get tough. If everyone around you is drinking and it starts to bring you down, talking to someone else who is sober helps you remember that you are NOT alone.
- Bring your own beverages. This is especially important if you're going to be around people who don't know you're sober. If you always have a drink in your hand, people won't hand you alcohol or ask if you want something to drink.
- You don't have to over explain. If someone is pressuring you to drink, be ready with an answer. A white lie is totally acceptable - tell people you're on antibiotics, or you're watching your calories and so you aren't drinking.
- Have an escape plan. If you can, bring your own car. Plan to go for a post-turkey walk - fresh air and exercise will get your endorphins flowing and help tamp down cravings.
- Plan your exit in advance. If everyone is going to settle in to watch football and drink and you don't want to be part of it ... don't. Tell whoever is hosting that you have to leave at a certain time so you don't get drawn in to staying longer than you want to.
- Remember to be proud of yourself - shame and guilt are huge triggers. Give yourself credit for staying strong.
- Think about the next morning, when you'll wake up hangover-free and rested. Think about how horribly you felt the morning after drinking, and how sober you don't wake up and think, "I wish I drank last night."
- Think through the drink. If you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive.
- Remind yourself that Thanksgiving is just one day. A simple 24 hours, just like any other day. Don't put more importance on this day over any other.
- Go to bed. If the day is harder than you expected, go to bed early just to put the day to rest. Tomorrow is a new day.
- Believe in yourself. Getting sober and staying sober takes serious guts - you are brave and strong and true. If guilt, shame and remorse start talking to you, remind yourself that it's your disease sneaking in the back door. Let your sober voice ring loud and proud in your head.
- Forgive yourself for wanting to drink. Don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural. Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one.
- Be grateful. Thanksgiving is a time of giving thanks.. make a gratitude list and carry it with you. Try to focus on the gifts you have in your life, all the possibilities that lie in front of you, instead of all the things you can't have. Sober, you can do anything.
D
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 223
Thank you Dee, I needed this. I have been doing really well with cravings but took a nap this afternoon and had a very disturbing drinking nightmare. Hadn't had one of those in a long time and I think it is because of the holiday.
No BBQ for me this weekend and I am fine with that
No BBQ for me this weekend and I am fine with that
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
I have become the designated driver in our household. My husband will usually have a comment about the speed I am driving (such as I look like a grandma). It is quite satisfying to be able to smile and say "If you hadn't been drinking you could have driven is home."
So bring on the weekend and my grandma driving!!!
Have a safe and Happy Fourth everyone!!!
So bring on the weekend and my grandma driving!!!
Have a safe and Happy Fourth everyone!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Always the level headed one Dee. Thank you. We have guests arriving from South America. The 4th of July is always a double whammy because my father was born on the 4th of July. The weekend is pre-planned so no worries on my end.
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Thanks D! Never saw this last yr or previously but good stuff man.
My tip is of course having picked your own drink in advance & if host or other goes to kitchen to get it for you, take a sniff w/o of course being noticed & keep an eye on it. Engage in conversation & laugh as this will indicate to others that you can enjoy yourself w/o booze. Once people start trickling out the door, then follow suit so you're not left alone(usually) w/ the real alkys who will start suggesting have 1 to relax or whatever excuse they offer
That's my 2 cents & sticking by it!
My tip is of course having picked your own drink in advance & if host or other goes to kitchen to get it for you, take a sniff w/o of course being noticed & keep an eye on it. Engage in conversation & laugh as this will indicate to others that you can enjoy yourself w/o booze. Once people start trickling out the door, then follow suit so you're not left alone(usually) w/ the real alkys who will start suggesting have 1 to relax or whatever excuse they offer
That's my 2 cents & sticking by it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Well, considering last year's bender started on the 4th and continued for 5 days (husband out of town) and ended with the grand finale of ER, I certainly won't be going to anyone's house. I don't feel tempted anyway, but no thanks. I'm just going to a few park district displays that are preceded by kids' events and calling it a night.
Other things will be harder and more tempting (maybe; right now I don't feel tempted), so I just can't go. Husband's family lives in a beautiful part of the country. They are big beer drinkers (probably alcoholics, but they keep it confined to 5 and onward). Sitting on the beautiful screened porch in front of a scenic lake, near the ocean etc., is something I always loved doing. I'd drink mixed drinks (beer never did it quickly enough) and I was a happy drunk over there because of the endorphin release (don't get me wrong; I was a mean drunk many times).
That's probably my biggest temptation. So, I won't go to that. Thanksgiving, not so much because we do a small one at home. If we do go to his parents' house (out of state), I might have to stay back. November is a ways off.
Other things will be harder and more tempting (maybe; right now I don't feel tempted), so I just can't go. Husband's family lives in a beautiful part of the country. They are big beer drinkers (probably alcoholics, but they keep it confined to 5 and onward). Sitting on the beautiful screened porch in front of a scenic lake, near the ocean etc., is something I always loved doing. I'd drink mixed drinks (beer never did it quickly enough) and I was a happy drunk over there because of the endorphin release (don't get me wrong; I was a mean drunk many times).
That's probably my biggest temptation. So, I won't go to that. Thanksgiving, not so much because we do a small one at home. If we do go to his parents' house (out of state), I might have to stay back. November is a ways off.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 129
This is probably the toughest holiday for me, as all of my friends will be at the lakes and of course drinking. I will be smoking some ribs and chicken at home and doing yard work. Everyone have a great 4th!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
BIG party weekend in my neighborhood. We have our own fireworks show in the park at the center, but I can see them from my front yard.
Lots of people get seriously drunk at the block parties - we are talking 30 to 50 something adults/parents.
I'm going to one of the parties, covered dish in hand (last year I was already too drunk to cook) and I am going to try to talk to people.
If it gets too sloppy, I will just walk back home.
Lots of people get seriously drunk at the block parties - we are talking 30 to 50 something adults/parents.
I'm going to one of the parties, covered dish in hand (last year I was already too drunk to cook) and I am going to try to talk to people.
If it gets too sloppy, I will just walk back home.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
It is so strange here actually - it is one of those neighborhoods where all the mailboxes are the same, and there is an overzealous HOA - I hate it, actually, but it is paradise for kids and teens so I grin and bear it. Moms have sippy cups full of wine in their kids' strollers - just a buzzed environment.
If I could be purely selfish, Id skip the damn thing and stay in the AC and watch documentaries.
If I could be purely selfish, Id skip the damn thing and stay in the AC and watch documentaries.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 254
Being an introvert with C-PTSD I never cared for 4th of July so the temptation to drink was never any stronger than normal.
I do get bothered by the crowds and busier stores, seeing people's shopping carts loaded up with alcohol and picnic food and jealousy sets in.
I think I'll make it a special, calm, responsible 4th based on staying sober, avoid the crowds and probably hang out on SR.
I do get bothered by the crowds and busier stores, seeing people's shopping carts loaded up with alcohol and picnic food and jealousy sets in.
I think I'll make it a special, calm, responsible 4th based on staying sober, avoid the crowds and probably hang out on SR.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 411
Originally Posted by Soberella66 
Being an introvert with C-PTSD I never cared for 4th of July so the temptation to drink was never any stronger than normal.
I do get bothered by the crowds and busier stores, seeing people's shopping carts loaded up with alcohol and picnic food and jealousy sets in.
I think I'll make it a special, calm, responsible 4th based on staying sober, avoid the crowds and probably hang out on SR.
I do get bothered by the crowds and busier stores, seeing people's shopping carts loaded up with alcohol and picnic food and jealousy sets in.
I think I'll make it a special, calm, responsible 4th based on staying sober, avoid the crowds and probably hang out on SR.
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