BarOwnersSon

Feel terrible again this morning. After a glass of water, a few cups of coffee, and a shower, most of the fog is gone. I vow today that I'm going to do better, be kinder to myself, and give thanks for all I have. By 5 o'clock this afternoon, all I will think about is when I can get my hands on that first beer to get rid of the pounding in my head. Any plans that I had for getting anything meaningful accomplished are finished. There's always tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next day.

Everything seems so clear and obvious in the morning. Then the fog moves in and nothing makes sense, other than that first beer.

I hate myself more and more for my lack of self control. I have control of my hands and what I put in my body. I know that my one and only goal every day should be to not drink. Yet this logic simply disappears into the fog. I know what I need to do. I know what I have to do. Why can't I do it???

doggonecarl

It's not a fog that moves in, it's addiction. And you talk yourself into the beer.

At some point you have to say "No" to the idea of beer and "Yes" to the idea of sobriety, no matter how discomforting the thought.

How 'bout today?

Fly N Buy

I had to find outside help after 35 years of drinking. The same brain the told me to drink again couldn't start me on a sober path by itself - it was sloshed.

Thankfully, there is a multitude of programs and support available. After I hit my head hard enough and long enough I decided to work some. It was grace I lived to that point - many do not.

Consider seeking the help that works for you friend.

thomas11

Very common pattern in my opinion. The greatest of intentions in the morning, by afternoon, all bets are off. Its breaking that cycle that is the hard part. I agree with Carl, its addiction. It's what it does.

Dee74

Hi BarOwnersSon

What kinds of things have you tried to help you stop drinking?

D

entropy1964

Have you tried to come up with a different evening routine? Maybe go to the gym? Eat first before you go buy beer? Hit an AA meeting? Gotta stop to stop so sometimes distractions in the first few days help.

Delilah1

Hello,

From your join date it seems you have been trying for three years. I did the same thing. I joined in 2012, and was sober on and off until this January. Today marks six months of sobriety for me.

I could have easily written your exact post, just substitute wine for beer. Here are some of the things that helped me get past that five o'clock witching hour:

-Log into SR daily, read and post often
-Join a class, I joined January and it has been great to have the support of people
In the exact same point of sobriety.
-Plan out your evenings, plan every minute the first few weeks: exercise, take a
Class, read a book, Netflix, Clean, garden, anything but open that first beer
-Reach out when you need help

I promise it is worth it, and it gets easier as time goes on. As soon as the thought of drinking pops in your head do something/anything else.

You can do this!!!

❤️ Delilah

FreeOwl

You can.

The question is - when will you actually CHOOSE to?

I know the whirlpool you're caught in. I was in it for years.

You have more power than you are giving yourself.

Choose it.

Choose it and act to support that choice.

You can do it.

CaseyW

Nothing changes if nothing changes. What are you going to do differently today when five o'clock rolls around instead of taking that first drink?

Hope you'll stick close to here and/or get yourself to a recovery meeting of some kind. You don't have to do this alone.

Carpathia

It is frustrating.

Telling yourself you can't begin to drink, and then once you do drink, you have to rearrange what you tell yourself.

So you tell yourself 'only this one' or 'ok, only two' or 'I'll stop after the third one'. Around and around. Ulgh, what a nightmare.

Endeavor

I feel your pain bud, today specifically. Hate the bad choices you sometimes make, but don't hate yourself. The key to beating this is just the opposite, to love oneself enough to live healthy.

Why can't you (we) do it easily? Well, alcohol is extremely physically and mentally addictive. Too much and our bodies begin to need it to feel normal and we sometimes use the high as a crutch to deal with stress or uncomfortable emotions.

If you're in bad shape, speak with your doctor about quitting so you can break the physical addition safely under care. Understanding the mental side of it and figuring out new ways of dealing with stress is where I believe the true healing begins.

Anna

There is lots of good advice here. You can ignore the voice that says 'yes' to drinking and you can become the person you want to be.

Soberpotamus

You can do it. At first, it's just not easy. None of us found it pleasant to abruptly halt our addictive behaviors. I know that sounds silly, but it's the truth.

But it does get easier! Or we wouldn't be hear years later, sober, typing away about it.

soberclover

You need to just take the plunge in to sobriety even though you may be afraid of the unknown. Tell yourself that for Today, you will not drink....no matter what. And ice cream.....must have plenty of ice cream. I think it is the combination of coolness and the sweetness that helps even out the craving to drink as ice cream gives a jolt of sugar. And stay here....we are here for you

Ruby2

Delilah has some great suggestions. I had to derail the train. I planned stuff to do around 4 to carry me past the 5:00 witching hour. Once you get an hour or so past the time you'd usually start drinking, without drinking, it usually gets easier.

I was on here CONSTANTLY in the beginning. You can break the cycle.

ardy

https://youtu.be/j5ZGz7h0epU

Soberwolf

Having a plan will help to keep you on track

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

uncorked

I remember the pattern well. Like Ruby said, once you get past the time when you usually start drinking -- an hour or two -- it gets much easier. For me, that was 5 pm. When I was in rehab, I started getting antsy around that time....but, obviously, there was no wine in sight so I was forced to endure the discomfort. After a short time, it went away.

Find something to do during your "witching hour." Something that either gets you out of the house or occupies your mind, whatever that may be. It's really the pattern/habit that you're trying to interrupt. Once you manage that, life without alcohol becomes a whole lot easier.

BarOwnersSon

Thanks so much for the feedback and encouraging words. I did indeed make it past the witching hour yesterday, so today begins Day 2 sober. Thank you Dee for your direct question, which pretty much cuts to the root of my problem, "What kinds of things have you tried to help you stop drinking?". To be perfectly honest, I've mostly tried to go this alone, thinking that I was smart enough to quit on my own. I've been dealing with this drinking problem for 30+ years, and have had a few meetings with therapists, attended a few AA meetings, attempted to follow the AVRT program (I think that Dee might have suggested that for me back in 2013). I've quit for a year, thought that I had it kicked, and then stumbled back in. But, if I'm being honest with myself, I haven't tried hard enough. And I have the problem fundamentally wrong in my head. I'm not smart enough or strong enough to beat this disease on my own. Alcoholism owns me and I need outside help to beat it. I need to crawl out of this loner shell that I've built around myself for 50 years, and admit that I'm just a vulnerable and human as everyone else. I think that I will start today by becoming much more active on the SR forum site. Your kind words and honest support have really encouraged me that there is another way to deal with this. I really appreciate it.

Hawkeye13

Congrats on Day 2!
You can do this BOS--looking forward to getting to "know" you here on SR