notgonnastoptry

I'm not really ready to talk about all the details at this point because they are harrowing. In fact, it was only yesterday that I looked through the hospital labs, etc.

Some background: Have been drinking for about 8 years. During the last 4, I drank on and off pretty heavily (about a pint or more of vodka a day). Couldn't function without it, but when I did quit those few times, ativan helped.

Two Sundays ago, nothing could help. I developed tachycardia. I've had this before, but this time, for the first time, it came with shortened breathing. My not-so-patient husband told me we were going to the hospital immediately. I begged him to wait til morning (because I knew that was the last straw with him).

Well, in the morning, I myself was ready to go. It has worsened. I'll skip the details here (because I'm still trying to comprehend how I could do this to my body), but I was thrown into the ICU, had dialysis, was on a ventilator, etc., etc., etc. They did not know if I was going to live. I was heavily sedated in the early days. I was eventually transferred to a room. The whole stay was 8 days. Everything in my body was off and my organs were failing.

I'm pretty young (early 40s) and never drank much until 8 years ago.

I've been home for a week, sober for nearly three, and I've entered outpatient rehab. This is my second hospital stint in under a year. Last year's looked like a cakewalk in comparison.

It's not over yet. This wonderful affair with vodka left me with a distended gallbladder, gallstones, and 2 very small nodules on my fatty liver. They said not to worry about the latter, that they'd probably go away. Nonetheless, I'm off to my GP tomorrow to show him the paperwork and to make a plan. I can't believe what modern medicine is able to do. My body went from failing to everything clear, save what I mentioned above.

I will have more later. I tend to type a lot. I've just now started talking about it.

Thanks for being here (again). And please, if you are contemplating quitting, take this message to inspire you. I've read the notes and, early on, the doctors writing were not sure I would live.

least

Sounds like you're lucky to be alive. I hope this is the time when you get sober for good.

FreeOwl

you're still breathing... it's not too late.

stay on the sobriety path with ALL you've got!!

mav

Thanks for sharing and the reality check.

I hope things go well for you.

ScottFromWI

Glad that you were able to make it out of that experience alive, sounds very scary. Hope we can help you with your plan moving forward !

Midwest1981

Wow. Very very scary. I am glad you are okay and getting help.

entropy1964

I'm so glad you are ok. Women can be much more susceptible to the ravages of alcoholism than men....and at a faster pace. I hope you are willing to do whatever it takes to get sober. You can do this.

sweetichick

So glad that you went to hospital and saved your own life. Your story really helped me. I'm on day 8. I've been binge drinking on and off for 15 years. Maybe I've just been lucky. Good luck with your recovery. Please never drink again.

August252015

So glad you are still here.

I can relate all to well to the physical agony and results of drinking- my experience is all too frighteningly similar to yours.

You can get better and I love how you said it- you have a plan. You are doing the right things with your doctors and everything. Prayers for you!

Dharma33

I'm very glad you are ok; drinking is really life or death for us!

ChloeRose63

Thanks for sharing. Really glad you are alive. Stay with us! ♡CR

FormerWineGirl

Wow, it sounds like you have been offered a Second Chance. Please, please take this gift and get well. We are cheering you on, you can do this!

Dee74

I'm glad your relatively ok not gonnastoptry

This sounds like a real turning point for you - hope to see you around a little more
D

Hevyn

Notgonna - I'm so glad you're reclaiming your life. Happy to have you here to tell the tale - and to recover.

EndGameNYC

It never ceases to amaze me what we're capable of putting ourselves through. It's good that you made it through, and that you're making a plan with your doctor.

Please be careful with this:

Modern medicine is incapable of providing us with unlimited opportunities to come back from near-oblivion.

Zebra1275

Glad to see you are alive and kicking. Let this be a turning point for you.

Aellyce

Hi notgonnastoptry.

I relate to your post a lot. Also early 40's, with ~8 years of continuous heavy drinking history (either daily or every few days crazy binges). Mostly liquor/vodka drinker during at least the second half of that stint. I also had many, very alarming, physical symptoms. Won't get into them here but some similar to yours and more. Coming and going, and some took time to clear in sobriety. I was told a few times, both by doctors and even fellow alcoholics, that the binges I did could have killed me easily, and it's sort of a miracle that I live. I had two sober years after that, then a few months of relapse, now sober again for a while. If I can recommend anything: don't relapse. It gets more complicated and nothing new or useful to be learned, really.

I don't know where our limits are, but, you know, maybe better not to find out?

Venecia

I'm glad to read that you've begun a treatment program. Stick with it. You'll never regret choosing sobriety.

EndGame's observations resonated with me. A couple days ago, I posted this:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-stronger.html

The classmate I referred to in this thread died alone at home, not in time for the skills and technology medicine *may* be able to offer to be an option.

Mountainmanbob

Seriously your body has had it with your drinking. Some just can't drink for long before falling apart. Please consider yourself one of these ones and stay sober. I have known many alcoholics who died in their forties and early fifties. They were all told, "stop drinking or die young."

My former girlfriend died at 50.

Mountainman

thomas11

Add me to the list of people that are simply glad you made it and are alive to post about it. I sincerely hope you never return to drinking. I read about your previous hospital stint as well. I think you body is telling you its not liking (at all) the way it was being treated. Next time it may quit altogether. Stay strong. Its just not worth it.