Elyse16

I still care. I still miss him. I know I'm the one who walked away and I know he said I deserved better and he didn't blame me, but... He's smearing me all over Facebook. I can't stop looking. We aren't friends on there but he is making all his posts public probably Bc he knew I would look. All the women I made him unfriend Bc he was becoming inappropriate with are all his friends again. All cheering him on. The same 5 people. If he didn't blame me for leaving, why act like a child? He makes fun of people who do that. What did I do? His mom is even berating me. I wish I could stop looking. He's filling their heads with lies like he did to me.

Today, I missed him so bad. What the hell is wrong with me?

Elyse

AnvilheadII

get.off.facebook.

and stop comparing YOUR life and who YOU are to what ANYBODY posts on FB. that you ever had to INSTRUCT your partner on who he could or could not "friend" on social media says a lot about the nature of the relationship....that's much more Parent-Child dynamics.

yes you left, but we often have a hidden agenda....i will go away and you will chase me. and you've looked over your shoulder and he is not chasing after you. that HURTS. but how he is acting right now tells you that you did make the right call. he's seeking another enabler/co-addict with a quickness......all macho bravado.

pffft. what a classless jerk.

LexieCat

Yup, this is a situation where you have to just not look. It's on you to do that.

Let it go, he'll get bored with it and move on soon enough.

dandylion

Elyse.....I think he is "leveling". In leveling, a person with low self esteem will do one of two things.....They will wither pump themselves up to feel better, compared to other people....or...
They will tear other people down in order to feel better about themselves.....

You are grieving...that is what is wrong with you.....but, it is necessary in order to heal, in the big picture.....

I encourage you to hang around here and read...read...read...and learn. There is so much to learn!
Knowledge is power, you know.....

You did the right thing.....and, his behavior just goes to reinforce that....

You are going to hurt for a while....so, don't let the pain fool you...
Keep your head in charge of your heart. Your heart can't be trusted, right now...

this won't feel so bad forever...but, please get away from facebook. facebook is not real life.....

dandylion

Lonelyhearts2

My alcoholic ex smeared me as well to other people.. Mostly to women.. His female boss, some old "friend", even his mother. The worst was his
Boss, because he told her all these personal details about me and twisted it in an extremely negative light.. It happened months ago, but I'm still not over it. he did it in a time while I was already extremely emotionally vulnerable and down about a situation that was happening outside of the relationship. I think that's probably the only reason I stayed with him.. Depression. If I wasn't depressed, I would've had the courage and sanity to just LEAVE him for good.

Anyway, I don't know if this is helpful to you or not.. But I truly believe my ex was a sociopath or narcissist.. Maybe your ex is one or the other? Normal people simply do not do this to people!! They do not make up stories about their exes or trash them on Facebook! It's simply not normal. I think your ex is mentally unwell.

I keep reminding myself that my ex is an ill person. He would never admit it, of course, but he's very ill. He has multiple addictions besides alcohol, and he had a troubled childhood. So it helps me to look back on him, and just think "he's a broken person. I tried to help him but ultimately could not fix him. I deserve someone better".

maia1234

BLOCK HIM
He is not worth the pain he is causing you.
Sending hugs my friend!!

PuzzledHeart

I suspect my sister smears me on and off Facebook. I wouldn't know anymore because I no longer follow her.

I caught her once doing so and I smacked the smear down. I realized that I was going to spend a lot of time and energy doing so if I tried to uncover her campaign and life was just way too short. Besides, in the end, they were just going to find out for themselves how much of a liar she can be. And if they didn't figure it out, they were just deluded as she was. And I actually felt sorry for them.

Hugs.

PS. If you're not ready to do a complete block yet, you can install an extension on your browser (I use Block Site for Chrome) that will essentially redirect a specific webpage (and yes, a specific FB profile) to another webpage of your choice. I have it set up so whenever I try to visit an unwanted profile, my computer redirects me to a truly annoying website of a celebrity who irritates me to no end.

No I'm not going to tell you who it is, but I can assure you that is incentive enough for me to avoid visiting that FB profile. It also gave me great pleasure to decide WHICH celebrity best embodied the worst qualities of this particular person. Petty and catty - most likely yes. But it worked!