evo869

Hi Everyone,

I've been in recovery before....had such a great stint; 7 years of being clean from alcohol and cocaine. Recently, I relapsed...for multiple months...I have a 4 year old son, and now I've been sober for a few weeks. I'm grateful, that I've kept my joint custody with him, and he was never exposed to Dad being wasted. I'm back in NA, in search of a new sponsor. But I was hoping to share something with the group that's been really troubling me.

When I was intoxicated one night, I started chatting with some shady girl...think online sexting sort of thing. I'm now being harassed almost daily by her, in an attempt to extort money; otherwise she'll inform family etc. about my relapse; bisexual tendencies etc. Its gotten to the point where she's creating fake profiles, and trying to get into my linkedin account....repeated phone calls from unknown numbers....its making me feel sick. I've tried to ignore it, but it won't let up.

umm help?

Dee74

Hi Evo - I'm sorry that's happening to you.

Blackmail is a crime - have you thought about going to the police?

D

teatreeoil007

Blackmail is a crime. Is internet stalking a crime as well? Harassment too?

Simplicity4114

Hi evo & welcome! I'd focus on your continued recovery first & foremost. It's the best thing you can do for both yourself & your family. Crazy girl will hopefully fizzle out with no responses from you. Seems like giving her money may just invite her to keep it up. May want to think of what to say to the family if she does follow through with her threats but I'd say if you stay sober and are able to pass blood/urine testing if court ordered....you're golden as far as maintaining joint custody of your son. Stay strong, we all make mistakes, its the getting up and dusting ourselves off that's important!

evo869

I'm almost there. I'm not on Facebook and killed off my all my other social media accounts, that I've rarely used. My online presence, is extremely limited. However, I was recently laid off, and need to find new work, so linkedin is critical for that. Maybe the police is a good idea; makes me nervous. I haven't responded to her continual threats yet. Appreciate the replies here guys.

teatreeoil007

She can threaten to blackmail you all she wants....and....you can threaten to turn her in to the cops....then see how much she still wants your money!

evo869

But mainly, I think the key here is to keep the focus on being sober, attend meetings....look after my son. The chips fall where they fall.

evo869

Man, thanks so much for the quick responses . Im sitting next to my son, eating fruit loops ...not a bad Saturday evening.

HopeandFaith1

I had a friend who was being blackmailed for pretty much the same thing. Where he lives that type of harassment is a third degree felony. We brought this to the attention of his stalker, and he went away. If confrontation is not an option, change your number or block her and all anonymous numbers. Keep a log of every incident in case you need to go to the police. Also, I don't think you necessarily need a LinkedIn account to get a job. I've never had one. Sorry this is happening. Good luck.

teatreeoil007

Fruit Loops! Haven't had those in years....mmmmm.

tomsteve

"But mainly, I think the key here is to keep the focus on being sober, attend meetings....look after my son. The chips fall where they fall. "

great idea!
add working the program,too.
don't let her be your higher power.

IvanMike

Welcome back, keep at it.

As for the other trouble you're having, I'll give it to you straight - stay clean and you won't do things like that, thus you won't suffer the consequences.

Dave42001

I agree with the other members, stay sober first!

If the crazy person communicates with you again, take a screen shot or photo of the threat. Record any phone calls.. Track down her IP address if she's online..

Wishing you the best! Hanging out with your boy eating fruit loops is priceless..

uncorked

Yes, contact the police. Blackmailing and stalking are crimes. And good for you getting sober again.

evo869

Guys and Gals. I won. I phoned the police. I told her.....I've never seen someone back off so quickly. Now I can get on with my program. Not that I couldn't before; but there's some wisdom here....sick vs well; not good vs evil. Strangely, I'm sure she has her own set of issues...but I have my son.

Really feeling grateful,

evo869

So true.

evo869

ivanmike has an excellent point. Reflecting on it; had I not got coked up...I wouldn't have this problem. Maybe I got away with my involvement, maybe it comes back to haunt me. Regardless I had a role to play.

Many thanks,
Jason

Berrybean

Wow. That's pretty amazing recovery right there. It took me a good while working my recovery and doing 12-step program with a sponsor to start recognising my part in resentments that I held. Once I learned to do that it was so much easier to let them go. It also gave me so much hope, because although it meant taking responsibility (something I was always allergic to in active alcoholism ) it meant that things didn't seem so hopeless. I recognised that if I made the right choices in future, and stuck with the principles of my program, then life would probably ease up on me in many areas. And it has. Obviously there are still issues from time to time, but I apply the principles to those as well, or seek advice on here or from my sponsor or other AAers, and things tend to resolve themselves, or I manage to resolve how I perceive it, and serenity is restored.

Good on you for calling the police and calling her bluff. Thing is, if you were still using she might have has more success with that as you'd have been much more fear-led.

This thread is very heart-warming. ☺

IvanMike

Yep, that's not so bad. I was expecting to be put on the ignore list for at least a few months. 😉