Play it again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 39
Play it again
Hello everyone,
This is my second attempt at this forum. This past weekend my husband and our 2 daughters and I went to a friends house for a BBQ . Needless to say, even though I promised myself I wouldn't, I got completely drunk, don't remember the ride home or even the end of the evening, woke up with a black eye, and was so embarrassed, sick and Disgusted with myself that I called in sick to work. I have repeated this scenario many,many, many, many times. I'm a binge drinker, I don't drink everyday, but when the weekend comes, I'm ready to get my cocktails on. I have made an ass out of myself so many times😔 I know it is a problem, and I feel ready to do something about it. I work a full time job, rarely ever miss work,I'm dependable, reliable and responsible, I always chalk it up to " I'm just having fun with good friends" or I'm just relaxing and having fun...but it's not so fun anymore. My husband drinks a lot on weekends also. We kind of tip toe around it, drinking together and having fun. Then the work week comes and we function normally and usually don't drink during the week. Lately, every time I drink I have gotten pass out drunk. When I start, I have no stop button. My kids have seen me in this state as well, which really really bothers me. I don't think I can casually drink. I have tried that and it doesn't work. If I have one I want 4 and after that I will have as many as I can until I'm a drunken mess. I'm so embarrassed because from the outside appearance you would never know my dirty little secret. My husband makes good money, we both have public very respectable jobs in health care. I don't think my husband thinks he has a problem but he is certain that I do. I don't know what to do next. It's not hard for me not to drink everyday..... I do that every week. But once the weekend comes and he starts drinking it will really be a challenge for me not to. I don't know where to start. I'm so sick of waking up horrified about what I might have done the night before. I'm so embarrassed, ashamed,humiliated, afraid , blank and disgusted with myself....then I turn around and do it all over the next weekend. Most people in our social circle drink, don't know how I'm going to get a hold on this. 😬
This is my second attempt at this forum. This past weekend my husband and our 2 daughters and I went to a friends house for a BBQ . Needless to say, even though I promised myself I wouldn't, I got completely drunk, don't remember the ride home or even the end of the evening, woke up with a black eye, and was so embarrassed, sick and Disgusted with myself that I called in sick to work. I have repeated this scenario many,many, many, many times. I'm a binge drinker, I don't drink everyday, but when the weekend comes, I'm ready to get my cocktails on. I have made an ass out of myself so many times😔 I know it is a problem, and I feel ready to do something about it. I work a full time job, rarely ever miss work,I'm dependable, reliable and responsible, I always chalk it up to " I'm just having fun with good friends" or I'm just relaxing and having fun...but it's not so fun anymore. My husband drinks a lot on weekends also. We kind of tip toe around it, drinking together and having fun. Then the work week comes and we function normally and usually don't drink during the week. Lately, every time I drink I have gotten pass out drunk. When I start, I have no stop button. My kids have seen me in this state as well, which really really bothers me. I don't think I can casually drink. I have tried that and it doesn't work. If I have one I want 4 and after that I will have as many as I can until I'm a drunken mess. I'm so embarrassed because from the outside appearance you would never know my dirty little secret. My husband makes good money, we both have public very respectable jobs in health care. I don't think my husband thinks he has a problem but he is certain that I do. I don't know what to do next. It's not hard for me not to drink everyday..... I do that every week. But once the weekend comes and he starts drinking it will really be a challenge for me not to. I don't know where to start. I'm so sick of waking up horrified about what I might have done the night before. I'm so embarrassed, ashamed,humiliated, afraid , blank and disgusted with myself....then I turn around and do it all over the next weekend. Most people in our social circle drink, don't know how I'm going to get a hold on this. 😬
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Jenni,
That is a really tough situation. I hope your husband supports you if you decide to give up drinking. I hope you do it now it gets harder the longer it goes on. Have you joined the June 2016 forum? It is a group of people who decided to get sober this month. They will give you a lot of support.
Also the 24 hour thread is great too.
That is a really tough situation. I hope your husband supports you if you decide to give up drinking. I hope you do it now it gets harder the longer it goes on. Have you joined the June 2016 forum? It is a group of people who decided to get sober this month. They will give you a lot of support.
Also the 24 hour thread is great too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Jenni
I didn't read anything like "I never want to drink again". Are you ready to quit, completely?
Can you ask your hub not to drink at home? Not to have alcohol in the house? Maybe make plans to stay home as a family for a while, hang with the kids, rather than socializing with your drinking friends? If he doesn't have a problem he should be able to do this. If he isn't willing, then you're on your own. Tough but doable if you have the commitment. At the end of the day, booze is everywhere. Its all up to us to say no.
Yes alcoholism is really tough on the kids. I'm the child of one and it has definitely left its mark. My kid is 15 and her life is just rushing by....I must be sober for it...and the grand kids, if she goes that route.
You don't ever have to feel this way again.
I didn't read anything like "I never want to drink again". Are you ready to quit, completely?
Can you ask your hub not to drink at home? Not to have alcohol in the house? Maybe make plans to stay home as a family for a while, hang with the kids, rather than socializing with your drinking friends? If he doesn't have a problem he should be able to do this. If he isn't willing, then you're on your own. Tough but doable if you have the commitment. At the end of the day, booze is everywhere. Its all up to us to say no.
Yes alcoholism is really tough on the kids. I'm the child of one and it has definitely left its mark. My kid is 15 and her life is just rushing by....I must be sober for it...and the grand kids, if she goes that route.
You don't ever have to feel this way again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Welcome to SR. I was a weekend warrior as well. Its difficult at first to break the cycle, but once you do, its not so bad. Read here daily and it will provide you with some great perspective on how to quit for good.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Hi Jenni, welcome back.
Have you tried AA?
I was just like you--high functioning. I wanted to quit but couldn't understand why I couldn't. Then when I joined AA I learned not only why, but how to overcome the problem permanently.
Have you tried AA?
I was just like you--high functioning. I wanted to quit but couldn't understand why I couldn't. Then when I joined AA I learned not only why, but how to overcome the problem permanently.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi and welcoem Jenni
you're amongst friends here who know the mortification of being 'that guy' or 'that girl'.
I can only tell you what worked for me and that was not drinking at all. I don;t believe there's a way for drinkers like me to 'learn' control - I gave two decades to that search and failed.
I know it's understandable you're thinking what will my life be like sober...how will I do this, how will I do that...I can only reassure you you will be OK
I've literally never been happier - honestly
D
you're amongst friends here who know the mortification of being 'that guy' or 'that girl'.
I can only tell you what worked for me and that was not drinking at all. I don;t believe there's a way for drinkers like me to 'learn' control - I gave two decades to that search and failed.
I know it's understandable you're thinking what will my life be like sober...how will I do this, how will I do that...I can only reassure you you will be OK
I've literally never been happier - honestly
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Jenni,
Welcome to SR! You will find so much support on this site. Like you, drinking just one for me never seemed to work out, and I have certainly made an ass of myself on more than one occasion.
I am getting close to six months sober, and although it hasn't always been easy, it has certainly been worth it. I have dealt with some stressful events, and have done so sober, which has allowed me to think more clearly, and not feel like crap the next morning.
Spend some time reading and posting, going the June class, and July as well. Make alternate plans for the weekend. I filled mine with kid activities, exercise, reading, and I avoided functions with alcohol for the first three months or so. You can do this!!!
Welcome to SR! You will find so much support on this site. Like you, drinking just one for me never seemed to work out, and I have certainly made an ass of myself on more than one occasion.
I am getting close to six months sober, and although it hasn't always been easy, it has certainly been worth it. I have dealt with some stressful events, and have done so sober, which has allowed me to think more clearly, and not feel like crap the next morning.
Spend some time reading and posting, going the June class, and July as well. Make alternate plans for the weekend. I filled mine with kid activities, exercise, reading, and I avoided functions with alcohol for the first three months or so. You can do this!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
Welcome Jenni,
Take it from me, it is best not to drink the first one. If I start, I keep drinking. I also had friends that partied all the time and I thought it was normal to drink the way I did. But over time I began to realize my drinking was not normal. You are way ahead of the game if you don't drink every day. Just put one foot forward and have a sober weekend. Before long you will have a month if you keep at it. Just tell friends you are on a health kick. The fact is nobody cares if you drink or not. Give it a try.
Take it from me, it is best not to drink the first one. If I start, I keep drinking. I also had friends that partied all the time and I thought it was normal to drink the way I did. But over time I began to realize my drinking was not normal. You are way ahead of the game if you don't drink every day. Just put one foot forward and have a sober weekend. Before long you will have a month if you keep at it. Just tell friends you are on a health kick. The fact is nobody cares if you drink or not. Give it a try.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,563
Good to meet you, Jenni.
I never knew what would happen once alcohol was in my system. Mostly, it led to danger & embarrassment. That's why I had to stop all together. I knew I could never be a social drinker. I hope you'll keep reading & posting here. You can do this.
I never knew what would happen once alcohol was in my system. Mostly, it led to danger & embarrassment. That's why I had to stop all together. I knew I could never be a social drinker. I hope you'll keep reading & posting here. You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 39
Thank you everyone for the support! Taking the first step tonight. I reached out to a women I know thru my daughters cheer team who is going thru the same thing. She is 90 days sober and actually went to a live in treatment center. I'm waiting for her as I type. I do want to quit drinking.... Completely. I'm so excited to connect with her and see what doors this will open for me. Thank you all for providing a safe place to be honest and admit my problem.
Guest
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 177
Sounds so familiar Jenni down to the black eye and all - you're in the right place!!! It seems daunting to be completely sober at first but just think - ur kids do it every day and they manage alright - right???! You can do this!
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Needless to say, even though I promised myself I wouldn't, I got completely drunk, don't remember the ride home or even the end of the evening, woke up with a black eye, and was so embarrassed, sick and Disgusted with myself that I called in sick to work.
We have to get disgusted with our drunken behavior.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Hi Jenni,
Outside of having young kids our situations are one in the same. In fact, it got to a point where my husband wouldn't go anywhere with me when alcohol was involved because he knew what was going to happen. I would end up making a fool of myself and embarrassing him.
If things like this are happening it must be affecting your husband, have you discussed it with him? It would be really helpful to get him on board with what you're doing.
You're not alone and this is a great place to be. I'm glad you posted.
Do you like to read? One of the best books I've read is Blackout by Sarah Hepola. I think you might enjoy it.
Outside of having young kids our situations are one in the same. In fact, it got to a point where my husband wouldn't go anywhere with me when alcohol was involved because he knew what was going to happen. I would end up making a fool of myself and embarrassing him.
If things like this are happening it must be affecting your husband, have you discussed it with him? It would be really helpful to get him on board with what you're doing.
You're not alone and this is a great place to be. I'm glad you posted.
Do you like to read? One of the best books I've read is Blackout by Sarah Hepola. I think you might enjoy it.
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