Madridista93

I Stopped drinking alcohol a year ago (I'm 23), I had serious anxiety with severe panic disorder and used alcohol as a relief for my anxiety, I was depended on it and it worked for a year or two but then it got out of control and I started having serious negative effects. It came to the point I was putting alcohol in a water bottle and drinking the whole day including in class, my tolerance grew more and more. It came to a point I was vomiting everyday and one day I woke up to a massive withdrawal and this is where I knew it was the end really so I decided to seek help

I had many close friends and group of friends with who I used to go out and of course at this age have a drink. However; when I stopped drinking on a personal matter things got much better but in regards to my friends I have lost a lot of contacts and friendships because I would find an excuse to not go out to the bar or club, I kept on giving excuses so it came to the point they thought I was ignoring them, , it is quite sad that I have to give an "excuse" for not drinking, what has happened to our world?

Because I stress on my excuse I tend to avoid going out with friends and j end up alone, it is hard to find people in their twenties not drinking when going out even though I would love to go for a nice dinner or do other activities that do not have to involve drinking. Whether going out with a guy a girl or just a group of friends it always involves alcohol and I am starting to get stressed on how to deal with this situation even before meeting up with someone. Whenever I see young people drinking and having fun as a group I tend to get depressed and sad that this type of situation happened to me at such a young age and now I feel completely lost. I can't believe I am 23 and this all happened to me when others my age are enjoying it, that's what hurts me.

The problem is everything involves drinking nowadays and I don't want to lose friends as well but I do not want to be open about my past problems. What would you do in a similar situation? I would love to hear your advice and experiences as well if you had similar ones!

Thank you

PS I am on mediation for my anxiety

tomsteve

instead of making excuses why not get honest with them? them friends just might find activities that don't involve alcohol.
no everything doesn't involve alcohol. just everything you used to do.

why not suggesting something to your friends to do that don't involve alcohol?

nothing has happened to the world. what has happened is you decided to be fearful of what your friends would say if you said you quit drinking and make excuses,imo.

put yerself in their shoes. wouldn't you stop calling someone that keeps having an excuse to go out?

KiKi0615

Hi Madrid, have you ever tried AA? There are lots of meetings in my area for young people in their 20's & 30's and they are great people who have WAY more fun than those drinking friends. :-)

Maybe give it a try?

I think being honest with your friends is a great idea too, like TomSteve said. When I told my friends, one of them came to me and private & told me they had a problem too and wanted to quit. It's much more common than you think.

Hang in there!

Soberwolf

Welcome Madridista & my best advice is your making a excellent healthy decision that will pay off for decades by not drinking you are very wise

How do you do this ? by sticking with us and if anyone offers you a drink just say no thanks

here is a link to building a plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Kelly12390

Hi there

I was in rehab at 23, 26 now. I was chronic at 23, couldn't stop drinking. It was going to kill me. I managed to stay sober for a over a year but have relapsed recently.

I did lose friends. They were no loss with hindsight. But not all, your real friends will stay. Also, I found personally that 22/23 is the last leg of that 'young' party scene. After that, people seemed to settle down and the not going to bars etc was more commonplace among my peer group.
Hang in there, I would be willing to bet you will find that also!
Also, you will meet great people on your journey in sobriety. People used to tell me that and I would cringe, but it's true.

It's difficult at times feeling that bit younger, at times I resented it- and if I'm totally honest, still do. Feeling you were cheated out of drinking years... The disease talking! The other side of that is if we remain sober and get this thing younger, we will save years of turmoil and pain.
I also tell myself sometimes too that I am sure there are young people in those bars drinking just as desperate and unhappily as I was just to feel okay about themselves. Not everything is as it seems.

Glad you're here!

Volshen

I'm 27. I quit 7 days ago.

Madridista93

Thank you very much for your kind reply , what caused you to drink constantly were you as well self medicating yourself? I really can relate to your post, i think friendships have to be much more than just going out and drinking. We have to be strong and think that this is the best for our lives, people at 23-24 should start being more mature and not have to get smashed every weekend. Friendships should be much more then this but it's a shame our generation is becoming clueless

FreeOwl

I wish I'd quit drinking at 22..... while I had a lot of "fun", I imagine my life would be far deeper, richer, wealthier, healthier and all around better for it.

That said, it must be incredibly hard to be in one's 20's and choose sobriety. Party culture is rife amongst the young - the need for booze to come along with pretty much everything is exacerbated in that 20-40 stage of life. I get that it can be really difficult to find ways to be social and not have to put oneself in alcohol-steeped surroundings.

But there ARE other 20-somethings out there who have chosen sobriety or who don't drink much at all or only rarely. I suggest making a list of things you have even a remote interest in trying. Keep that list going, and then keep an eye out for groups or classes or places or events you might do those things and be around others in ways that aren't just about alcohol.

If fitness appeals - often times you can find younger people who have chosen sobriety in running, crossfit, martial arts, cycling....

If creativity appeals - maybe take some drawing or painting classes....

If nature appeals - look into biology or wildlife groups.....

If Art appeals - perhaps look for museum tour groups....

Volunteering can often be a really good and powerful way to develop social ties and connections to people.

There are loads of possibilities... you can do it!

StayStrong33

I quit drinking at 26 (sober since Dec 3, 2014) and I'm SO glad I did. I wasted way too many days being wasted and never want to waste another. I had to make peace and move on from the "drinking me" and all it entailed. Some parts were fun, some were terrible. I had to rebuild my confidence the natural way without liquid courage in my system and grow up to deal with life. It has been a process but in my experience, all of my friends think I'm a better person now that I've stopped. I don't worry them with my crazy anxiety and depression. I don't black out and say things I don't mean or that will embarrass someone else. I'm actually funny instead of just thinking I'm funny when I'm drunk. I remember my conversations with my friends instead of having to pretend. Life is too short to drink it away and if you're around friends who plan to drink their weekends/days/nights away, maybe it's time to get new ones anyway. If you stop drinking now, I guarantee you won't look back several years later and say "Wow, I really wish I would have kept drinking". But you may look back and wish you had stopped.

Bird615

I stopped at 21. I also found out who my true friends were then. Many of them disappeared from my life since we no longer had anything in common besides heavy drinking, but I made new friends in AA. Back then, there weren't as many young people as there are now, but there were enough.