Doing well
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Doing well
I am doing well, a lot better than I thought I'd be. I'm closing in on 23 days sober. My first prenatal appt went well and I discussed my concerns with the doc. He said that it's a normal concern, that a lot of women drink early in pregnancy without knowing they are pregnant. There will be other tests available to me later on if we think there's a problem. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat and see the little bean, she's (I think it's going to be a girl!) still so very tiny! I am on day 3 of no smoking!
As far as drinking, I did obsess/think about a lot the first week of quitting. I even drank some odouls. But now the thought of it is making me sick (thanks to nausea). But I've really slacked on working on my sobriety. I have this stupid vision of me "enjoying" a few beers once the baby comes. Oh and the drinking dreams I've had. Hubby is banned from drinking while I'm prego, which seems to be ok. If anyone offers him one, I joke around saying if I can't have one neither can he and he's been ok with it.
I felt like I needed to come here tonight so that I can get back on track. I'm not going to drink for the next 7 months by any means, I am just scared what will happen afterwards.
As far as drinking, I did obsess/think about a lot the first week of quitting. I even drank some odouls. But now the thought of it is making me sick (thanks to nausea). But I've really slacked on working on my sobriety. I have this stupid vision of me "enjoying" a few beers once the baby comes. Oh and the drinking dreams I've had. Hubby is banned from drinking while I'm prego, which seems to be ok. If anyone offers him one, I joke around saying if I can't have one neither can he and he's been ok with it.
I felt like I needed to come here tonight so that I can get back on track. I'm not going to drink for the next 7 months by any means, I am just scared what will happen afterwards.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Glad to hear everything is going well with the pregnancy!
Regarding sobriety/recovery, do you have a plan or program of any kind? Or are you still just using the pregnancy itself to keep you from drinking? As you know, the responsibility as a parent doesn't end when the child is born, so active drinking will be a major problem then too. Your vision of "enjoying a few" is of course a fictional story that your addiction is telling you.
It's good you came here now so you can work on these feelings before they get worse. Do you have any ideas yourself on what you might try?
Regarding sobriety/recovery, do you have a plan or program of any kind? Or are you still just using the pregnancy itself to keep you from drinking? As you know, the responsibility as a parent doesn't end when the child is born, so active drinking will be a major problem then too. Your vision of "enjoying a few" is of course a fictional story that your addiction is telling you.
It's good you came here now so you can work on these feelings before they get worse. Do you have any ideas yourself on what you might try?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Jillian
Sounds like things are going pretty well. I wasn't a full blown alcoholic when I got pregnant but I was heading there. The pregnancy stopped me in my tracks and I didn't even ponder doing anything that would harm the baby. But by the time she was 3 I was early stage.
Take this time to build a strong foundation in recovery. As you know, not harming the kiddo in utero is paramount. But not harming them once their born is just as important.
Sounds like things are going pretty well. I wasn't a full blown alcoholic when I got pregnant but I was heading there. The pregnancy stopped me in my tracks and I didn't even ponder doing anything that would harm the baby. But by the time she was 3 I was early stage.
Take this time to build a strong foundation in recovery. As you know, not harming the kiddo in utero is paramount. But not harming them once their born is just as important.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Jillian2563 
I do. I was going to AA and reading literature but have slacked off. I haven't been able to see my therapist either. I need to get these things back into action.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Jillian2563
I'm not going to drink for the next 7 months by any means
A baby deserves a sober mother while its in the womb, and long after.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
I hope by the time you've given birth that this commitment is "I'm not going to drink...period. Never." A baby deserves a sober mother while its in the womb, and long after.
Today I'm 30 days sober. Things aren't perfect but I guess I'm still doing ok. I still think about drinking. For instance, my husbands ex wife posted on FB that she was at a concert. I was thinking, how nice it would be to be there with a drink. I just don't get it. I have the will to not drink while I'm pregnant because I know it'll harm the baby, but how do I not have the will after pregnancy? I know that It'll "hurt" my child by drinking, but still want to do it? And did so with my 12 yr old?
I'm still very emotional these days. I'm ready for a "me" break. We go on vacation next Friday, maybe I should plan a day to myself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Jillian
I don't know if your parents were alcoholics. But if they were you'd know that your 12 year old probably already has issues with your drinking. Maybe anger, resentment. Hopefully you talk with him about it, take him to al ateen (most schools have meetings) and counseling. My daughter likes al ateen.....thinks it's a little freaky too but she attends occasionally when she feels the need. She knows it's an option.
I know the only way for me to succeed is to commit now to never drink again and don't each day. Squash thoughts of drinking and do not romanticize drinking. Yes I think about it. But that lovely cocktail by the pool is a fantasy. At least for me. Our children are a huge responsibility. We can do this. We have to.
I don't know if your parents were alcoholics. But if they were you'd know that your 12 year old probably already has issues with your drinking. Maybe anger, resentment. Hopefully you talk with him about it, take him to al ateen (most schools have meetings) and counseling. My daughter likes al ateen.....thinks it's a little freaky too but she attends occasionally when she feels the need. She knows it's an option.
I know the only way for me to succeed is to commit now to never drink again and don't each day. Squash thoughts of drinking and do not romanticize drinking. Yes I think about it. But that lovely cocktail by the pool is a fantasy. At least for me. Our children are a huge responsibility. We can do this. We have to.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Jillian,
I'm glad to hear you're not drinking.
You're going to be pregnant for quite a while. This is a good time to build upon your aspirations for your life.
I thought about that recently when I posted a response to a person struggling. Something I've thought about a lot lately is that when we choose sobriety and to live in recovery, we're making a choice for a better life. Because we're quitting drinking, it can become easy to make it all about abstinence and sobriety, all about an existence minus alcohol.
In reality, the longer view is more comprehensive. Alcoholism is what stands between us and the lives we want. Relegate it to our past, and we can have the lives we desire. Mire ourselves in it, and there will always be an abyss between the life we have and the life we want.
You've written with genuine sadness about the life you've been in, the life you want to leave behind.
Take this time when drinking is 100 percent off the table -- no ands, ifs or buts off the table -- to build your life. As long as you romanticize the substance that has brought you so much pain with thoughts like "wouldn't it be nice to drink at a concert," you're letting alcohol retain its control over you.
What kind of life do you want? The life you deserve or a lesser life?
What about your kids? The life they deserve or the lesser life a drinking mother delivers?
This is a time of rare, and potentially wonderful, opportunity. Take this opportunity, Jillian. You deserve it.
I'm glad to hear you're not drinking.
You're going to be pregnant for quite a while. This is a good time to build upon your aspirations for your life.
I thought about that recently when I posted a response to a person struggling. Something I've thought about a lot lately is that when we choose sobriety and to live in recovery, we're making a choice for a better life. Because we're quitting drinking, it can become easy to make it all about abstinence and sobriety, all about an existence minus alcohol.
In reality, the longer view is more comprehensive. Alcoholism is what stands between us and the lives we want. Relegate it to our past, and we can have the lives we desire. Mire ourselves in it, and there will always be an abyss between the life we have and the life we want.
You've written with genuine sadness about the life you've been in, the life you want to leave behind.
Take this time when drinking is 100 percent off the table -- no ands, ifs or buts off the table -- to build your life. As long as you romanticize the substance that has brought you so much pain with thoughts like "wouldn't it be nice to drink at a concert," you're letting alcohol retain its control over you.
What kind of life do you want? The life you deserve or a lesser life?
What about your kids? The life they deserve or the lesser life a drinking mother delivers?
This is a time of rare, and potentially wonderful, opportunity. Take this opportunity, Jillian. You deserve it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
