small victory: extended monitoring
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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small victory: extended monitoring
Since so much of what we post describes frustration and confusion, I want to share a happy note: my attorney called to tell me that my STBXAH agreed to continued sobriety monitoring after our 4 month agreement ends. I had filed a court motion to extend the monitoring, knowing that he continues to drink on his non-custodial weeks, and fearing that he would resume drinking with the kids unless he had to do the monitoring. He chose to avoid court and agree to my request, without litigation. Yippee.
For those of you who, as I did, are sticking around in a toxic relationship to cushion your children from the effects of their alcoholic parent, there might be another way. My leaving and getting my AH to do sobriety monitoring (with the help of attorneys and a co-parenting therapist) has been more effective in getting him to stop drinking when he has our children than my pleading, threatening, and attempts at positive reinforcement ever were.
Someone said it on SR: accountability is the enemy of alcoholism.
For those of you who, as I did, are sticking around in a toxic relationship to cushion your children from the effects of their alcoholic parent, there might be another way. My leaving and getting my AH to do sobriety monitoring (with the help of attorneys and a co-parenting therapist) has been more effective in getting him to stop drinking when he has our children than my pleading, threatening, and attempts at positive reinforcement ever were.
Someone said it on SR: accountability is the enemy of alcoholism.
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Originally Posted by sauerkraut 
Someone said it on SR: accountability is the enemy of alcoholism.
51%>49% possibly, but it's a start.
That's awesome
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Yes, August, it caused anxiety and took a lot of time, too. I combed through years of emails and texts putting together a verifiable record of the effects of his alcoholism on me and our children, which I had shared with my friends and family. Then I added outside evidence (police report from the mugging; doctor's diagnosis of alcoholism), and my attorney helped me whittle it into a compelling narrative.
When his attorney saw the motion, she advised him not to fight it in court.
However, I'm letting him reduce his testing from 3 times/day to just 2 as he complained vociferously about the inconvenience of the late afternoon test.
By eliminating one of the test periods, I think he may be asking for the rope by which to hang himself, as I think he will be very tempted to drink, knowing that he doesn't have to test until nighttime. We shall see.
When his attorney saw the motion, she advised him not to fight it in court.
However, I'm letting him reduce his testing from 3 times/day to just 2 as he complained vociferously about the inconvenience of the late afternoon test.
By eliminating one of the test periods, I think he may be asking for the rope by which to hang himself, as I think he will be very tempted to drink, knowing that he doesn't have to test until nighttime. We shall see.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by sauerkraut
By eliminating one of the test periods, I think he may be asking for the rope by which to hang himself, as I think he will be very tempted to drink, knowing that he doesn't have to test until nighttime. We shall see.
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