BD84

I was so happy for a while. Now all I can think about is the negative, especially things I did in the past and how bad I let it get.

Prayers please.

Soberwolf

Grats on double digits early recovery is full of twists and turns prayer helps me too
keep doing what your doing youl forgive yourself in time bud

ZenLifter

Congratulations on day 10. The ups and downs are common, we've all been through that.

And remember "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." The past is part of that which cannot be changed. Try to focus on what you can do now, this day, this moment, to stay sober and get better

FLCamper

Hi, BD84. Good job on 10 days - keep that going.
Do you have anyone to talk to face to face about this? AA or something?
I expected a pink cloud when I quit this last time but did not get it. I just felt kind of flat for a long time. It did not make me want to drink, but I thought I kind of deserved something for quitting! It did fade in time for me but took longer than I'd anticipated - which made it all the more frustrating.

BD84

I don't have anyone but you guys to talk to because no one else knows how bad it really all got.

All my withdrawal symptoms were neurological. Muscle twitches, hypnic jerks at night, brain fog. They all left on day 6 and all was oh so happy now the twitches are returning. Is my brain playing a game with me? I know it did feb-april. The withdrawals lessened and I slept great all while binging on weekends. Then in May BAM worse than ever. I think my brain knew I was on the verge of quitting and lessened the symptoms on its own feb-april and is now ramping them up in hopes of getting the poison after 10 days sober. I hate this.

Venecia

It gets better.

You need to give sobriety time and patience. I know that sounds difficult right now, but the only thing alcohol does in our lives -- and does so reliably well -- is make everything worse.

REsoberALITY

Yes, it will get better. This unfortunately, is often part of the process. Stay with THIS...... You will start to feel better. Many prayers.

entropy1964

Hang in there BD84. You're doing great.

IcedVoVo

BD, I hear you! I'm struggling emotionally too, time is going by too slowly, and I need a break. We have hope today, though..a guarantee even that things will get better, there's just no way of knowing when which is hard. I am trying to think of how great it will feel; someday soon to be healthy again. It's coming.

Congratulations on your 10 days, and I hope tomorrow is much better for both of us. Rest well, you're doing great.

RB

ZenLifter

I don't know if this qualifies as me giving medical advice, but try getting more potassium and magnesium. Might help the muscle twitching. Often we are depleted of vitamins and minerals after drinking so much for so long.

REsoberALITY

What Zen said is very true..... I don't think it's medical advice just good advice. hang in there guys.... (BD84, RedBerryJuniper) You are on your way to feeling better..... It just takes time. It crawls, especially early on but you've come this far, keep pushing through it. Wishing both of you patience and strength tonight.

Madnellie

BD, I feel ya. My third week was sheer hell, but I kept on praying and going to meetings and all of a sudden the fog lifted again and I felt so much better. I'm not naive enough to think that it won't come back, but I do know that when it does it will soon lift again. I hope this helps you a little. Sending prayers.

Fly N Buy

This too shall pass - give yourself time to begin to heal. I followed a path of forgiveness and light. You can as well.

Here's your requested prayer

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen.

BD84

I believe it was stress. Things are better now.

I am sleeping so hard like I am catching up. I am having vivid dreams like I am on thr outside looking in or sometimes involved with an action movie or crime drama. Is this my brain coming back to life? I have been running 3 miles a day so I migjt just be tired.

Thank you guys for everything. Its been a hell of a year.5 since I joined.

Flawed

Totally normal. The more time you get the more the positive part of what you're doing takes over and the negative starts to fade

FormerWineGirl

Agree that what you are feeling is completely normal. Early sobriety is indeed an emotional rollercoaster! But know that it DOES GET better - better than you can imagine. Hang in there!

BD84

I have started to have dreams where I am scheming getting drunk while in normal situations where others are drinking normally or that I am trying to hid my vodka but can't find a place.

Why do I feel like getting drunk would solve this temporary anxiety when I know that it won't? Will I ever be excited about anything other than drinking ever again?

Berrybean

Yes, you will be excited about other things again. This is a transient phase, and completely normal, even ut is fairly vile.

Why not add AA to your sobriety tool box? It's a massive help to so many of us.

LadyBlue0527

YES YES YES YES YES, and did I say YES???

In early sobriety it's easy to get into this mindset that nothing is fun, life is never going to be fun again, and the classic "there's nothing to do!". All thoughts that lead back to four words. "I want to drink".

I can promise you by hanging in there you're going to find joy in things that you never thought you could. Simple things. After you get through this beginning phase and those thoughts begin to back off it gets more clear.

You can do this and there's such a better life ahead. It's so hard to type these words because I know that right now, this is hard for you to see.

I've said that if I could have a superpower it would be the ability to show those in early sobriety just how good life will be down the road and how worth every current moment is in trade for what's ahead.

Hang in there, you've got this!