GreenEyedSorrow

Well, I am starting today to finally become sober, I haven't went without a drink in about 5-6 months, I'm very low and very sad, and feel so panicky. I suffer with ocd and anxiety terribly, so the long story cut short is, about three years ago my friend introduced me to Diazapam, she said take one and it will help calm you're anxiety and relax you, I did, and it did, very soon after I was buying them very regularly, and in the end they were so easy to buy off our supplier I was taking sometimes upto 6 a day (10mg each). I was ignorant to what these do to the human body and mind, sh** hit the fan massively when last November the supply got cut off and I went into a deep and dark place, I then turned to having a few drinks to relax to... Here I am and I drink every single night, and I never ever was like this, I only used to really drink at weekends and an odd time through the the week.

Now I don't know if it's the drink really catching up with me or not but the last week I have suffered with the most horrific anxiety, as I sit here I'm worried and stomach is sinking, I want to be sober, but I can't get a hold of Diazapam as my doctor doesn't know the severity of everything but I plan on going tomorrow to explain all.. Apparently when you've been addicted to benzodiazepines you need to gradually cut down and you can't just STOP, but I haven't had a choice so I've been using alcohol as substitute. It's Thursday and I have felt like I'm going out of my mind with anxiety but today I want to be the first day of not drinking and I'm absolutely dreading it . I just feel lost and alone and just want to drink, I feel like I'm stuck in a situation and if I'm trying to come off alcohol and also have no Diazapam what can I do? Has anybody out there went through this that help or just give some advice or encouragement... I am a very sad soul

Thankyou in advance

entropy1964

Hi Green
I'm sorry you are feeling so awful. Can you go to the emergency room? They will help you with detox from alcohol....often that involves a short dose of benzos. Tell them how much Valium you've been taking.

Wastinglife

Alcohol and benzos have a very similar depressant effect on our nervous systems. If you use either in enough quantities your body will adjust to having it in your system. Suddenly taking away a depressant will cause your nervous system to rebound and go into a heightened state. That's why you will feel more anxious /panic. I've never been on benzos but ive been through alcohol withdrawal a few times. I imagine the anxiety levels are similar. I suggest you come clean with your doctor about your benzo abuse so you can be properly tapered off.

Bunny211

Hi there and welcome. I was very addicted to both booze and xanax so I know what you are going through. I was also diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. I am sober now and no longer need any medications for anxiety, depression, OCD etc. Quitting drinking and benzos and working a program of recovery has given me a beautiful life free from the pull of mind altering chemicals. Praying that you stick around so that you can see the miracles happen for you too!

I agree with the poster above. You should really seek medical advice ASAP in order to taper off the benzos and the alcohol.

Anna

I think the best thing to do is to talk to your dr or go to the ER for help. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Ruby2

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been through it myself. Go see your doctor. I had horrible anxiety when I was drinking. I took benzos to help with the anxiety until I could drink again. What a terrible life that was and dangerous to combine the two.

It does get better but see a doctor to see what your options are. I"m like Bunny. Once I was truly done with the alcohol, my anxiety went away. You can do this.

Easy2slip

Go see your doctor tomorrow and I am sure they will help.

In mean time, don't drink and Try to relax tonight. Maybe take a walk. Hot bath afterward works wonders too!

Take care of yourself!

GreenEyedSorrow

Thankyou everybody, even in you're darkest hour it's so nice just to know there are people to talk to that have been through the same. Well, last night (Thursday) was my first night n about 6 month without absolutely any sleeping aid at all, totally sober, it was the hardest night of my life, heart beating and getting sweats, anxiety bad, but today, I feel slightly better, like a teeny bit but I eventually got some sleep and it's feeling very surreal, I must say atm all I can think about is having a drink to relax, I know this is going to be one hard battle but my lovely boyfriend was with me every step of the way, we slept together, him beside me making sure I was ok and staying up when I was. I have tried to get an appointment with the doctors today but there's nothing available, I have one booked for first thing Monday morning and then my journey truly begins... I will keep everybody informed and wish me luck everyone, I pray God will help me through this time. It's got to come to an end and I can not wait for the day I am totally clean, it's getting me so down as you have crippling anxiety, I've gained a lot of weight just by drinking, not even food which is so depressing and I don't know if anybody else suffers or suffered with waking up in a swamp of sweat? Anyway everybody, thankyou for the advice and I will keep you posted

graced333

Hi - how strong you are to take this leap off the drugs and booze. I took benzos for over 27 years. Jumped off of them and booze over 4 months ago. I didn't sleep much for the first few months and like you have shared, I also was bathed in sweat sometimes during the night and even the day! Yet, it has gotten MUCH easier (at least for me) by practicing some simple yoga stretching moves, eating very healthy, practicing mindfulness and staying In the Moment. If I can do this, you can. Stay on the path and joy will reveal itself.

GreenEyedSorrow

Hi Graced, thankyou so much, I hope with the support I can do this and you're story is so inspiring. That's fantastic and I will try those little adjustments to my life and with hope I can get through this.

chrcarlson

Alcohol always caused me anxiety for a few days after a drunk. I call it feeling puny. After day 3 it seems to go away and i start feeling better and would drink again. I haven't drank or felt that way in months but I do remember it.

You need to be careful about cold turkey but the Doc can help you with that.

I had night sweats for 3 or 4 days then poor sleep for a month. After a month I started walking up at sun up- it's nice. My mind played tricks on me for several months. After 6 months sober I realize most of my "rational" decisions to drink were the addiction (AVG).

Hang in there, you will see a great improvement in your looks in 2 weeks, it just gets better and easier from there.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR, GreenEyedSorrow! It's good to have you with us. I drank really bad for 25 years, and when I decided to quit I got terrible panic attacks when I tried to sleep. It was horrifying but the good news is it didn't last very long, not even a week.

Hang in there! Life is much better without the drinking. Sobriety is freedom, it really is.

dreamsneverend

Hi, from experience, if you have come to be dependent on benzos of any kind, it really is IMPOSSIBLE to drink your way to coming off them cold turkey. Your body is craving a specific drug, and feeding it or even drowning it with another will only make the anxiety worse. The brave thing you did last night is far better, but as people above have said, see a GP about tapering slowly: they should all be aware that's the safe, responsible way (and trust me, way less painful).

dreamsneverend

(Also, Battle Against Tranquilisers has a national helpline 0844 826 9317

and is specifically for people with benzo issues. I found them really helpful, and they might have a local contact for you).

thomas11

I'm glad to hear you are going to see your doctor, they should be able to help. I have read and heard that benzo withdrawal can be a monster. From a holistic standpoint, your body needs to cleanse itself. And during that process you may feel uncomfortable, but after time it will find its balance. Wish you the best.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum GreenEyedSorrow!!

least

Welcome to the family. Rebound anxiety is common in alcohol withdrawal. Benzos I expect would be the same. You are used to a depressant, and now that you don't have it, your body is going into overdrive. It takes a while to get back to normal. Good that you are seeing your doctor.

Rar

Welcome Green Eyed Sorrow. Only a couple of days until Monday. Wishing you the best. Read and post. It truly helps the cravings and anxiety.

Hevyn

Good to meet you, GreenEyedSorrow. I agree that it really helps to have others to talk things over with. Until I came here, I felt so alone. Being in good company takes some of the sting out of it.

I had the horrific nights early in withdrawal. I'm glad you're going to the doctor Monday. Be sure to let us know how it goes. You only have to go through this misery once. It'll be so wonderful to be free of it. Glad you are here with us.

GreenEyedSorrow

Hi everybody, thankyou for you're comments and help. Having a really terrible day anxiety wise , I had a drink yesterday (Monday). Because I couldn't get a doctors appointment, I am so low today, I have rang the crises team and they're going to ring me back and get sorted with some intense therapy, I'm also going to ring the tranquilliser group thanks (dreamsneverend). I am also ringing the doctors today and going to ask for an emergency appointment if I can't get one it'll be tomorrow. I am very upset but I'm trying not to beat myself up as it sometimes seems impossible to go cold turkey. Thankyou everyone, I will keep you all posted and wish me luck